Evil Bong-A-Thon!

It's your eyes...

Hey, check this out.

With Al's rent, I finally got enough to buy this.

"Large bong for sale.

Originally purchased in the 1960s in New Orleans.

Recently deceased owner claims it was possessed."

That's wicked. Whoa, dude.

A haunted bong?

It's guaranteed to give amazing highs, bro.

"Seller not responsible for possible bad side effects."

We gotta have it.

We gotta have it.

Oh, don't be a sucker, it's a scam.

Just like that grilled cheese sandwich

with Jesus's face on it.

What are you talking about, bro? That was online.

Okay, everything on that internet is a scam.

You can't trust anything

because that's how the feds spy on us

- through our computer... - I must say,

this ad does sound somewhat suspect.

This is "High Times," fellas.

Okay, everything in here is on the up and up.

Totally.

Whatever. It's your dough, man.

Dude, have them express mail it to the house ASAP.

'Cause if there's one thing this pad is lacking,

it's a killer fucking bong, man.

Whoa, no, no, no, no

No, no, no, oh

In the morning, in the night

When I don't feel so right

All through the misty haze

The green will brighten up my days

Cloud of smoke to clear my mind

Just a puff to help unwind

Everywhere I go, I take it

Oh, it's like I can't escape it

Only thing I need

Only thing I need

Mean green, wicked weed

Heavy from the devil's seed

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Mean green, wicked weed

You've got a hold of me

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Light the fire, spark the tree

Yeah Make it a part of me

Oh

Think of all the life it brings

Just growing from those little seeds

Oh I need my smoke today

Work too hard, get home late

I just need a break

Oh, one more toke that I can take

Only thing I need

Only thing I need

What's that Mean green, wicked weed

Heavy from the devil's seed

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Mean green, wicked weed

You've got a hold of me

Fiending for it every day

You know I want that Mary Jane

Are you Larnell?

What do you want, bro?

Package for you.

That box is huge, what's in it?

What's in it? I don't look in the boxes.

That's against regulations.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, bro, easy.

I'm a professional.

I make over $200 a week.

You look in the box, you get fired.

Larnell, perhaps it's the item.

Item?

You've been waiting for.

Item I've been waiting for.

Yeah, that's it.

It's the item you've been waiting for.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the item I've been waiting for.

There's postage due for it.

Hey, it's been a bad month, bro.

Can you let this slide a little under the rug type?

I'm a professional.

Al, Al, you spot me a little coin...

Fine. I'll take it off

next week's... Fine!

Okay, just, last time, bro, last time.

Just...

Thanks, bro.

It's...

Oh, baby, baby, baby, come to Daddy.

Hey, Al.

Istair.

Aw, man, you frontin' Lar again?

Thought you supposed to be smart.

Perhaps you're right, but I'm only trying to help out.

Larnell's financial acumen leaves something to be desired.

Yeah. He ain't too good with money neither.

You know, believe it or not, he comes from money.

Really? Grandpa's loaded.

Some kind of big wig lawyer, till he got creamed by a bus.

That's horrible.

Huh? Oh no, the old man's still alive.

You know, cripple in a wheelchair.

Anyway, you know, he's, he had Larnell on allowance

till he dropped out of law school, cut him off.

That's unfortunate.

Unfortunate? It's brutal.

Oh man, the parties we used to have on that dough. Oh!

How about some red meat?

Feed that scrawny body instead of that brain of yours.

B, that's what I'm talking about, bro.

Geez, it's huge.

Look at the beauty, bro, look at the beauty.

Looks like a piece of crap.

Told you it was a scam.

Once again, I'm gonna have to align myself

with Brett's opinion.

Dude, it's junk. Send it back.

No, no, no, no, don't you see?

It's shaped like a beautiful woman, bro.

You got the tits and the vag.

You're fucking nuts.

You two are a cloud of fuck dust.

This is the best investment ever made in my life, bro.

I say let's fire this thing up.

Monkey.

Oh Check this out, B.

This thing's hot.

Take a bong toke

Take a bong toke

And a toke and another toke

Smoke and choke.

Flame on. Take a bong toke

Take a toke and another toke

Take a bong toke

Take a Take a bong toke

I love rippin' outta bongs, it gets me so, so high

When I take a big toke, looks like my eyes start to cry

Tears start to swell up when I take a huge hit

Of that bong biggie bong diggity dank dank shit

Johnny Richter don't quit after one two or three

And takes so many bong hits you might run out of weed

Thought you was fucking with a rookie

But I'm really a king

I was just out playing hooky, having fun with the team

Well, now I'm back Take a bong toke

And a toke and another toke

Welcome to my world, worm.

Oh, snap. Hi there.

You could use some lotion. That's okay, that's okay.

You chicks are a little aggressive.

That's all right.

I'm into it.

Oh, so is this like, a three-way situation?

Oh, I'm into it. It's okay.

Oh, that's, that's kinda painful.

Monkey.

Is this the great beyond?

Have I crossed over?

Oh! A fair angel.

Oh, this must be my reward for all the good deeds I do.

Or maybe not.

Oh, maybe it's not heaven.

Maybe it's that other place.

Well, Lord, if it is that other place,

let my punishment begin.

Dudes! You guys remember Luann?

Hey, what's up, losers?

This is her friend Janet.

Hi, guys.

That's Bachman over there, totally out of it.

Did I tell you that

This here's Larnell.

When I was one

And that guy over there. Al!

Oh

Oh

Hi.

Washing his skivvies in the kitchen.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Oh.

Hey Janet. So you're a friend of Luann's, huh?

We go to a couple classes together.

So how come I've never seen you before?

Dude, just give it up, Larnell, she is so not into you.

What is she mute or something, she can't talk for herself?

I know it's a radical concept.

Whatever.

Sorry, Larnell, I am not interested.

Oh!

Crash and burn, dude.

Not at all, B. On the contrary.

This is a breakthrough in communications

between the sexes, bro.