The Yankles

- TV announcer: It's game seven

of the American League Championship Series,

and this series is all even at 3-3.

The winner of this game goes to the World Series.

This is what it's all about in baseball.

The crowd going crazy...

It is deafening here in Chicago.

The Spirits lead 4-3. The count...

Three balls and two strikes.

The Spirits are one out away

from their first World Series in six years.

It all comes down to this one pitch,

this one at-bat.

Baseball doesn't get any more exhilarating than this.

- Here's the windup and the pitch. - ( crack )

Deep fly ball hit to center field, but it's playable.

Charlie Jones waves off Dixon. He says he's got it.

If he makes this catch, the Spirits will win it.

Jones is there and...

Oh, he dropped the ball!

Oh, I can't believe it!

Jones has dropped what would have been

the final out.

His throw home will be late.

Two runs score for the Sox.

And no World Series for the Spirits!

The Spirits lose on an almost unbelievable error

by Charlie Jones.

I'VE GOT A GUARANTEED CONTRACT.

YOU CAN'T FIRE ME!

JUST LET ME DO THE TALKING.

CHARLIE'S IN REHAB

AND HE HASN'T TAKEN A DRINK IN TWO MONTHS.

I KNOW, I DIDN'T STOP

AT THAT STOP SIGN BACK THERE, DID I?

STEP OUT OF THE CAR, SIR.

JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

YOUR HONOR, MY CLIENT

Judge: NOT TODAY, I'M NOT IN THE MOOD.

YOU LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY, MR. JONES.

I'll PUT THIS INTO BASEBALL TERMS.

SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND IT.

YOU'VE GOT TWO D.U.I.s. THAT'S TWO STRIKES.

ONE MORE AND YOU'RE OUT

FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE.

I CAN'T TAKE YOU ANYMORE.

WHAT?!

HERE, BABY.

GO GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER.

Woman: GO GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER. ( Echoes )

OH, GOSH.

COME ON, SWEETIE.

COME ON.

- ARE YOU EXCITED TO GO? - ( siren wails )

Man: PULL THE VEHICLE OVER TO THE RIGHT, IMMEDIATELY!

- RICKY! - ( tires screech )

OH, MY GOD!

Man: PUT YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL.

KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL.

- SIR, REMAIN IN THE VEHICLE! - UP AGAINST THE CAR RIGHT NOW.

- Charlie: THAT WAS CLOSE. - AGAINST THE CAR!

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY!

HUGE MISTAKE.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

WATCH YOUR HEAD, SIR.

YOU DIDN'T SAY THE PRAYER.

I SAID IT TO MYSELF.

Instructor: WE BEGIN THIS MORNING.

WITH THE CLASSIC DEBATE BETWEEN ABBAYA AND RAVA.

SO ABBAYA POSES THE QUESTION IN BUBBA MITZIA:

IF YOU LOSE, BUT DON'T KNOW YOU LOST AN OBJECT,

WHAT IS THE OBLIGATION

OF THE PERSON TO YOU WHO FINDS IT?

PAGE 70. MR. DUBINSKY, ALEF.

AND THANK YOU FOR JOINING US.

NOW RAVA POSES THE QUESTION,

"HOW DO YOU KNOW AN OBJECT WAS ABANDONED?

DOES IT MATTER IF THE OBJECT WASHES UP

ON THE SHORE

OR IF IT WAS FOUND ON A BOOKSHELF?"

IF I CAN FIGURE IT OUT, SO CAN YOU.

YEAH, RIGHT!

IT CAN'T BE THAT HARD, ELLIOT.

JUST STUDY.

IT'S NOT THAT, ELIMELECH. LOOK, I GET CONFUSED

BETWEEN THE RAMBAM, THE RAMBAN, ABBAYA,

RABBA, HILLEL, SHAMMAI, RASHI.

WHO COULD CROSS-REFERENCE 2,500 RABBIS IN 30 VOLUMES?

- THE REBBE. - THE REBBE.

UN VOS MIT YIDDISH?

MY YIDDISH IS FINE, THANK YOU. ( Laughs )

I'M GOOD AT LANGUAGES.

ALL RIGHT, FINE, ARAMAIC IS WHERE I FALL APART.

OH, DON'T WORRY, ELLIOT, I'll HELP YOU.

WHO'S GONNA HELP YOU, SHNEIUR ZALMAN? YOU FLUNKED TALMUD TWICE.

SO I'M NOT A TALMUD SCHOLAR.

I JUST WANT A DATE WITH ELLIOT'S SISTER.

YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT IT, SHNEIUR ZALMAN, SHE'S TWICE YOUR AGE.

- AND FOUR TIMES HIS INTELLECT. - HEY!

- HEY, ELLIOT! ( Panting ) - WHAT?

I HEARD FROM SHRAGA FIVISH, WHO BUMPED INTO MENACHEM YOSEPH

WHEN HE WAS LEAVING SHEUR,

AND SAW THE REBBE MENTION YOUR NAME TO RABBI MEYER.

SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

IT MEANS THE REBBE'S GONNA CALL ON YOU TODAY.

OR SHRAGA FIVISH IS A LIAR.

NO, DON'T WORRY, ELLIOT. IT'S A BIG HONOR.

SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, ELIMELECH.

WHY WOULD HE WANNA SEE ME?

ELIYAHU, THE REBBE WANTS TO SEE YOU.

GO.

ELIYAHU, DO YOU KNOW WHO BETSALEL WAS?

BETSALEL WAS AN ARCHITECT.

VERY GOOD, ELIYAHU.

GOD CHOSE BETSALEL TO DESIGN

AND CONSTRUCT THE MISHKAN,

THE TABERNACLE.

HE HAD TALENT.

GOD KNEW THIS.

NOW, I AM CHOOSING YOU

BECAUSE OF YOUR TALENT.

I BELIEVE GOD BROUGHT YOU HERE

FOR A REASON, ELIYAHU.

THEREFORE, I AM GIVING PERMISSION

FOR THE YESHIVA TO JOIN THE N.I.S.A.

THE NATIONAL INTERCOLLEGIATE SPORTS ASSOCIATION.

IT'S A SMALL LEAGUE.

MOSTLY LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGES.

NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE USED TO.

I'M SORRY, ARE WE TALKING ABOUT BASEBALL?

OF COURSE, NU. WHAT ELSE DO YOU PLAY?

WELL, I

REB YAAKOV, I ACTUALLY PLAYED PROFESSIONALLY,

SO I DON'T REALLY THINK I'D BE ELIGIBLE.

YOU'RE RIGHT, ELIYAHU.

THAT IS WHY RABBI MEYER

ALREADY RECEIVED SPECIAL PERMISSION.

FROM THE LEAGUE COMMISSIONER.

IT'S OKAY. HE SAID YOU COULD PLAY.

AND YOU CAN COACH, YES?

AND I'll BE YOUR ASSISTANT. IT'S ALL BEEN ARRANGED.

RABBI MEYER HAS TOLD ME ABOUT MAX MEYER'S PARK.

YOU PLAY BASEBALL EVERY SUNDAY, YES?

WELL, YEAH, BUT THAT'S JUST A FRIENDLY GAME.

AND I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT SOME OF OUR STUDENTS

CAN HIT THE BALL PRETTY GOOD, YES?

WELL, ACTUALLY, YEAH, THAT'S TRUE.

I MEAN, SHNEIUR ZALMAN, THAT GUY CAN HIT.

AND PINKY AND SHMULIK, THEY'RE PRETTY SOLID.

ELIEZER'S, HE IS A SOUTHPAW WITH THIS WICKED FASTBALL.

IT'S REALLY FAST.

LOOK, REB YAAKOV, THERE'S PIECES,

BUT THERE'S NO TEAM.

ELIYAHU, WHERE DID BETSALEL

GET THE MATERIALS

TO BUILD THE TABERNACLE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?

PUT FORTH THE WORD, ELIYAHU,

AND THE PLAYERS WILL COME.

IT'S NOT MAX MEYER'S PARK, BUT IT'S SOMEWHERE TO PLAY.

IS IT EVEN REGULATION? IT DOESN'T LOOK REGULATION TO ME.

AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?

OH, IT'S REGULATION, GUYS.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

I'M TIRED OF FIRST BASE, ELLIOT. CAN I PLAY SECOND?

SHMULIK, YOU'RE A LEFTY. YOU'RE STUCK ON FIRST.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WHERE'VE YOU BEEN, SCHMUCK?

HEY, SIMCHA.

WHAT ABOUT THE ETHIOPIANS? THEY SEEM PRETTY ATHLETIC.

YEAH, I THINK THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.

- LET'S GO, TESHOME, RIGHT, AND MALASA? - YEAH, YEAH.

OH, SHIT.

- CHARLIE! - ( reporters clamoring )

CHARLIE, TELL US HOW YOU FEEL. DO YOU THINK YOUR FANS HAVE FORGIVEN YOU?

- WILL YOU PLAY BASEBALL AGAIN?

WHERE ARE YOU DOING YOUR COMMUNITY SERVICE?

LET'S GO, CHARLIE.

CHARLIE, DO YOU THINK YOU CAN PLAY IN THE MAJORS?

- WELCOME TO FREEDOM, MY FRIEND. - YEAH.

WHO CALLED THE DAMN PRESS CONFERENCE?

NOT ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY... "ONCE FAMOUS, TWICE INFAMOUS."

IS THAT WHAT THEY SAY?

SO, WHERE WE GOIN'?

DOWNTOWN.

OH, YOUR NEW PLACE?

IT'S A SURPRISE.

OH-HO.

BASEBALL BE VERY, VERY GOOD TO YOU, MY FRIEND.

IT'S A BETTER VIEW, HUH?

YEAH.

IT USED TO BE AN ART STUDIO.

JUST BOUGHT THE PLACE LAST YEAR

AND HAD 'EM THROW IN ALL THE ART.

PROBABLY PAID TOO MUCH FOR THAT,

BUT I FIGURE IT SAVES ME FROM DECORATING. YOU WANT A SODA?

YEAH, SURE.

I STOCKED THIS FRIDGE FOR YA.