Sharpe's Peril

WOMEN SCREAMING

BABIES CRYING

TRUMPET

You, soldier,

dance with me.

I do not dance.

Do not, sir? Or cannot?

Will not, then. If it please you.

It does not please me.

WOMEN'S LAUGHTER

I am resolved to step a measure with every man here present.

And have a wager of my friends to do the same.

What do you say to that?

You lose.

Not lost your touch with the ladies, then?

What the hell are we doing here anyway?

You saw the dispatch. Aye, the governor requests your presence.

But why? I thought we were headed home. We are, Pat.

We are, I promise.

Colonel Sharpe?

One moment, sir.

Damn the man, damn him to hell.

God rot all quill suckers, heh?

We sweat and bleed and die upon their whim.

And for what thanks?

If it's gratitude you're after, then you've joined the wrong army.

You may well be right at that.

Colonel?

Sharp. Richard Sharpe.

Count Vladimir Alexei Dragomirov, 3rd Native Horse.

You have business with the governor?

Tread lightly. Sedgefield is a wily, old devil.

Your Excellency, Colonel Sharpe.

Colonel, His Excellency Viscount Sedgefield.

I'm told you have a nose for mischief, Colonel Sharpe.

Told, sir?

His Grace, Lord Wellington.

After this late rebellion, only recently put down,

we find ourselves, alas, already facing fresh dangers.

Bandits, Sharpe, in the high hills.

Under the thrall of a cutthroat named Chitu.

Causing no end of havoc with Company operations.

Villages put to fire and sword.

The harvest disrupted.

Sorry to hear that. Indeed.

A Company squadron under Count Dragomirov

has been dispatched to find this Chitu.

And, so far, without success.

You are requested

upon the highest authority, to do better.

I am no longer in the service of His Majesty.

My business in India concluded. I am for Calcutta and England.

I cannot persuade you?

Perhaps then,

might at least you be prevailed upon to perform one last duty?

In which, I assure you,

there is no peril to yourself.

Aye.

If I can.

I have in my care a property.

Like yourself, bound for the north.

May I look to you for its safe conveyance?

Aye. Very well.

Your word?

What is it, this property?

Ah, Colonel Sharpe,

I have the honour to present Mademoiselle Marie-Angelique Bonnet.

Who is she? Damned if I know.

Her fiance is a Company major, name of Joubert.

Stationed at Kalimgong.

Where, in God's arse, is Kalimgong?

Company hill station,

on the way, Sedgefield says.

SIMPLE TUNE

SOLDIERS SINGING

Major Tredinnick, sahib.

Marvellous, marvellous.

Who commands this column?

Why, sir, no man.

All men.

We are, you might say, a regular Captain Copperthorne's crew.

A gentleman asks a civil question, he expects an answer in kind

and none of your riddles.

What he means to say, sir, after his fashion, is the matter

would depend on whether you meant Company troops or king's.

For we number both amongst the column.

Your officer will do for now. Very good.

I'd be glad if our mounts could be fed and watered.

And someone to see to the lady's comforts also.

Quilter, Deever. This way, gentlemen.

How is it you come to be travelling along Company's routes.

I was ordered, sir. There's bandits hereabouts,

all manner of heathen deviltry.

Sooner than have troops venture forth in small bands,

we thought it best to combine all soldiery

samewise bound into one column.

Mind how you tread, that is elephant shit.

These gentlemen were hoping to speak with you, sir.

Very good, Colour Wormwood. Would you want me to remain, sir?

In case there's any questions? I'm sufficient to the task.

Very good, sir.

You'll forgive Colour Wormwood's familiarity, gentlemen.

Being not long in India, I find myself beneath his wing.

Ensign Beauclere, 69th Foot.

Colonel Richard Sharpe, late of the South Essex.

Sergeant Major Harper.

Your pardon, Colonel... You may dispense with formalities.

I hold no present commission.

Mr Harper and myself are about

some private business on the governor's request.

And yourself?

I command a small prisoner escort, sir.

Bound for Calcutta.

I'd hardly call such numbers small, Mr Beauclere.

What have you in your charge? Some regicide?

No, sir. You misapprehend me.

For the most part, what you see here

is the royal train of the Maharani Padmini Devi of Jhalawar.

A princess?

Her highness travels to Pankot

under protection of Company detachment.

With Subedar Pillai commanding.

As for regicide, I fear my prisoner is in no mean so worthy of note.

So what was the offence?

The murder of an officer, sir,

in furtherance to robbery of the regimental stores.

Oh.

The commissariat sets great store by its spoons, so it does.

Subedar Pillai, then...

..is in charge of the safety of this column.

Do it.

Do it, man!

Not like that, you'll kill him.

You've got the blade the wrong way round.

You need to line it up along the vein, not across it.

Are you a farrier? I know how to bleed a horse without killing it.

What are you waiting for, then? Do it.

Hold onto that.

Right.

Keep the bugger steady, Pat.

He's fine.

Easy, boy. Take it nice and easy.

Easy now.

WHINNYING

Easy, boy.

Just keep him there, Pat, keep him there.

I reckon you'll live.

We are most grateful, Mr...?

Sharpe. Colonel Sharpe.

Sergeant Major Harper.

For future, a wee bit of ginger added to his feed might help, ma'am.

Ask what reward you will of Subedar Pillai for your service.

It shall be met. The beast out of his misery is reward enough, ma'am.

I'll be glad of some words with the Subedar.

Yes, Colonel?

I...

was wondering, Subedar, if you have any sound intelligence

as to the bandits ranging hereabout.

I have a certain cargo in my charge.

And I'm anxious for its safety.

You mean to leave me here in the company of common soldiers?

Good practice I'd have thought.

You're set to marry one, aren't you?

Major Joubert is a gentleman.

Yeah? Then, God help him.

The Company officer has given me his word

provision will be made till you're safely to Kalimgong.

You gave your word to Viscount Sedgefield.

If there are bandits in these hills,

then this column affords you far better safety than us.

The colonel is right, ma'am.

I'm glad of it.

At least I shall no longer be kept awake by your snoring.

I don't snore. Like a carthorse.

And since you are set upon your fait accompli,

there is nothing further to say.

Monsieur.

She took it rather well, I thought.

Colonel Sharpe?

Mrs Tredinnick.

My husband is the major of the engineers.

I'm certain he'd wish me to present his compliments

and an invitation to dine with us this evening.

That's really kind of you, ma'am, but...

We'd be delighted.

Mr Harper, ma'am.

Well, until this evening, then.

I was gonna say no.

Are you all right? Listen, you need to see a surgeon.

I'll do no such thing.

I'll speak to Pillai.

Oh, a Company surgeon?

I'd rather let you loose with a hammer and fleam.

I'll be all right, Richard. Truly I will.

OK.

I'll fetch us kit.

We're bedding down here. Yeah.

Who's them strangers walking Bo Peep, then, Colour?

No business of yours, Quilter. See the prisoner is fed and watered.

He won't have none. Nevertheless it must be offered.