Digital Killer

I'm recording this just in

case something happens to me.

Stop it!

Somoeone must have seen this.

It's completely out of order.

When I get back, I'll check the tape.

This thing on? Hi.

I'm Steve.

I just got this camera, and, I thought it'd be cool to,

you know, upload some video blog stuff onto, my new blog.

Um...

You know, get a chance

to see everyday life of me.

Um...

Yeah.

I'm going to try to film some really good stuff.

I'm going to make it as interesting as possible for everyone.

So if you're interested, then you'll watch.

And if you're not, then you wouldn't be watching this in the first place.

So...

Whoo! I'm nervous this is my first time doing this.

Everyone wants to be famous, right?

Oh man, I'm going to have to cut this down a little bit.

Whoooo...

This thing still on?

Hi, you've reached Kris

I can't get to my phone, but if you leave a message

I will probably call you back.

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

Stop it!

Stop it!

Okay...

Take three. Hi.

I am Steve. Ah, here's something interesting.

I guess

8808.

The future.

Lucky eights.

Or is it the past?

No one knows.

This right here, though.

Very serious.

It's my rubber band ball.

Kind of gets me through the day.

Yeah, it's kind of like prison.

But instead of marking up the walls,

this rubber band ball just gets bigger.

But...

Steven, you got those files ready for me?

Uhhh...

What are you doing?

Nothing. Nothing. We'll try this again.

All right.

Oh, wow.

There is Jenna.

She's a bit stuck up, but

she's got a sick body.

Oooh...

Oh yeah, right.

You have no chance, Dude.

Let's get a little better look here.

Steve?

What're you doing?

Nothing.

Were you just filming me?

No, I...

Gross - Whooo... alright.

Okay, let's get the lights.

Let's see what we can see.

Let's check out the beautiful view

right here.

There you are.

I don't know why I can't find anybody.

I mean,

I always feel like I'm the outsider, you know?

How do other people do it?

I don't know, I just,

I feel like I've always been two degrees off.

I hate this.

What are you doing?

Get out of here!

So, more about me.

See, I uhhh... I was born in the Midwest.

Wisconsin, to be exact.

Moved to the big city.

Kind of lost the accent.

Yeah, I just,

I don't know.

I couldn't do a small town for the rest of my life.

I needed to see what was out there.

So here I am.

Ummm...

Yeah, people back home...

I don't know, I guess I was considered the nice guy.

I used to have this crush on this girl.

Oh, man.

- Blond haired, blue eyed. - Typical.

- Of course. - Yeah.

I used to ride my bike up and down her block every single day.

I mean.

I don't know what I was thinking.

It sounded like she was going to

run outside and see me and want to jump on me

and make mad sex, you know, tell everyone at school about it.

It's interesting, though.

Did I want to have sex with her?

Or did I want everyone at school to know that I had sex with her?

This is weird.

Wow, I turn the camera on and all of a sudden

the truth comes out.

Okay, I'm going to have to edit this down

a little bit.

What is going on.

Here is a photo of my ex-girlfriend, Kris.

Record you piece of

Stop it!

Stop! Okay, really?

C'mere here, Steve...

This is my living room.

All right. Over here.

We got some art strewn about, some creepy heads in the corner.

That is my TV.

- I got that piece in Oaxaca, Mexico. - All right.

Over here...

I've got a painting that I bought at a garage sale.

And that is Rick's idea of art.

Yeah.

The less said, really.

Okay. Oh, wow.

This is a cool shot.

Down here, we have an awesome banner.

Ah jeez!

Okay.

-You ruined my shot. -What are you doing?

What's this for, Dude? Let me get in it.

Okay, everybody, this is my roommate, Rick.

Okay. Say hi, Rick.

-Hi, Rick. -Inspired.

- Thank you. - Here, get out of my way. I'm trying

Come on. I'm trying to shoot

Here it is.

Stevie's Ovarius Rex.

Rarely is it ever seen out in the daylight.

But here it is, in all its glory.

Performing a ritual to make it more attractive to other mates.

Unfortunately, this particular creature has spent

too much time with his ass on the couch and other nonexertive activities.

But luckily, he's chosen a park area where other mates

won't see him and rightfully mock him for the poor performance... Hey! Gimme that!

He's gonna puke! Careful!

Great.

Great. You probably broke it.

Me? I was the one lunging for it.

Sorry.

The red light's still on, it's probably fine.

See?

And it's a camera, man.

Remember, material posessions they are fleeting, grasshopper.

Yeah, that may be, but I still paid $500 for this.

Come on over here. You'll miss it. I'll show you how it's done.

Two, three. See?

- This is how you do it. - Seems to be working.

Six. Count with me.

Seven.

Come on...

I can't, I can't.. Yeah I can.

Eight. Nine.

- All right, all right. Stop, Dude. - Should I do the one arm?

Okay. I'm glad you can count.

That's awesome.

Dude, somebody call the veterinarian

these pythons are sick!

Miss Bigsby, Hudson Pre-school.

Taught me all my numbers.

- Basic edition. - Yeah. Good school.

Oh, when's your graduation again?

Oh, funny. Now

you ready to give it another go?

Come on, Beefcake, what you got?

Yeah, I thought about it.

No. I'm good.

How many, did you do? Exactly.

Did you get one?

- I got two. - Two? - Yeah.

We might have to look at the tape, folks, cause I saw one.

I obviously don't have as much time as you do, Rick.

Uhhh, yeah.

Whatcha been doing?

Stuff.

Like?

Why do you care?

I care, dude. I'm your friend, man

trying to catch up.

What's up with you? I don't see you.

- Wow. - What?

Look at that.

She's coming right down here. Look at that.

- Good morning. - Yeah, good morning is right.

Ooh...