Horsegirls

...I'm singing

and I've had some margaritas

and shots--tequila shots.

And, oh, my God. So then when we get home,

we're stumbling across the yard, and I fall down.

And then he picks me up and he just--

Oh, my God, he deadman carries me--

Or what is it called? Fireman carry you?

You know what I'm talking about? You know what I mean?

- Like, firemen, right? - Yeah.

Or I don't know when they pick you up

and sling you over the shoulder,

which is, like, such a fun position,

or when I'm hanging over his shoulder,

like, banging on his back.

Like, can we just sleep out on the trampoline tonight?

Because I don't know why.

I thought it would be, like, romantic or something,

so I totally convinced him to do it. Oh, my God.

How was it?

It was freaking miserable. It was so miserable.

It was the worst idea I've ever had. Beyond.

You gotta bring him with you one of these days.

Oh, well, he--he died, actually.

Hey, ladies! How's it going?

Hello. Hands.

Oh. Pfft. Duh.

-So I was practicing-- -I can't hear you.

I was practicing my galloping--

-Practicing what? -On the treadmill,

I was practicing, and it was...

-Volume. -And it was awesome

and so cool, but then my legs got caught on the thingy

and then I tripped and I fell, and blah.

Aw.

Oh. This is new.

I liked the beach painting better.

It had all the bumpy bits on it. This one doesn't fit.

So, Mom, can we get taquitos after this?

Uh, we'll see.

My mother painted that, Margarita.

I don't like it. So, Mom, taquitos or no?

Um, let's just see, honey?

-Can you braid my hair? -Sure.

Do you know

how to French braid your hair, Margarita?

No.

-I can teach you if you want. -No, thanks.

The entire process lasts only for a few minutes...

"The mare chews on the placenta..."

Once the foal comes out,

the mare chews on the placenta...

"Choking"!

...to prevent choking...

Margarita, Margarita, can we just please watch

something different?

No. I want to watch this.

It's making me nauseous.

I thought chemo made you nauseous.

- Oh, God. Come on. - Shh!

Have you heard back from the grocery store yet?

Um, no. I never applied.

Margarita, look at me.

I hate having a job.

Like, I don't want to have to wear hard pants

- and smile at people for money. - But we have to do it.

You have to.

That's what being an adult is.

Now, just give me the remote, please.

Hyah! Hyah! Take it from me.

- I'm serious. - Hyah!

You're gonna give it to me! Damn it! Give me the remote.

Why are you being so mean?

Just come back in 30 minutes.

OK!

Shortly after birth,

the young horse is able to run.

Keep it tight, guys. Keep it tight.

Good job, Madison.

Together, together. There you go.

I'm sorry.

I know.

I'm serious, though, Margs.

I need you to start thinking about getting a job again.

No, thank you. Um, where's the Coke--

Side door.

Nice.

Um, are you mad at me?

I-I don't want to get a job

because people are always mean to me.

You know, you probably shouldn't drink those

at night.

I'm sure it's full of caffeine.

No, no. There isn't any.

Because there's zero things in it.

Zero. That's why it's called Coke Zero.

Um, why are you mad at me?

I didn't say I was mad at you.

I can just tell.

You need to get a job, Margarita.

I'm not asking you. I'm telling you.

You should get bangs.

My hair doesn't like bangs.

I'm serious, Margs. It would really help me out a lot.

You could dye it pink.

Well, that would be something.

I'll get a job at the stables.

Oh, come on, Margarita. We've been through all this.

That guy is gonna file a restraining order against you

if you keep jumping over his fence.

And you didn't even like those horseback riding lessons

when we had them, you know?

That was different.

How was that different?

Well, there were too many rules

and the helmet was too tight

and the lady kept yelling at me

when I was trying to get the horse to gallop

like the frickin' wind.

OK, well, if you can think

of a safer and better way that doesn't involve trespassing,

then maybe we can consider a job that involves horses.

But until then, let's just look at regular jobs.

Fine.

Besides, you know,

Dana's daughter got kicked in the face by a horse,

and then she had to wear that retainer

with the fake teeth.

Oh, yeah.

It's just because I care about you, you know?

And I love you, I love you.

OK, OK, Ok.

Aw.

Ugh.

Really?

Oh, no.

Oh, grab this.

-You good? -Oh, yeah.

Good night.

-Mom? -Yeah?

Can I ride a fake horse?

Well, that's what Cheeseburger is, right?

I mean, that's why we got her.

Well, yeah, but if I did, if I rode a fake horse,

then, like, you would be OK with that, right?

Yeah, sure.

OK. Awesome. Thank you.

Uh, good night.

OK. Good night.

-Love you! -I love you more.

Yeah. Now, stretch out.

Stretch it out. Nice.

Uh, can I help you?

Oh. Hey, c-can-can I-I...?

- Can you what? - I-I don't know.

Well, I don't think you can if you don't know.

Uh, can I--can I join this, like,

horse class thingy, God damn it?

Well, there you go. That wasn't hard, was it?

No swearing next time.

Hey, did I tell you to stop?

'Cause I have no problem

taking away our matching bracelets

if we aren't here to work.

Madison, Madison, hair back. I've told you.

Come on if you're gonna join.

Whoa! Your legs are, like, so hairy.

Jean-Marie, look at her legs.

Whoa!

OK, ladies, grab your horses.

Let's go. Formation. Let's go.

Hey, that's my horse.

Sorry, sorry. My bad. Sorry.

Did she just try and steal your horse?

No, I didn't.

You totally just did.

No I didn't, you liar.

You're supposed to bring your own horse, sweetie.

Hey, hey. Settle down.

OK.

Hey, hey, where are you going?

To get a horse.

Losers.

What did you do to Cheeseburger?

What the hell are you doing?

You don't like it?

No, I don't, I hate it.

You know, it'll look better

once it's all evened out, you know?

Hey! Stop it! No, no, no. Stop shaving.

No, Margarita, Margarita, stop.

You look ugly. You look ugly. Stop shaving it!

You're gonna get hurt. Margarita, stop. It's off!

It's off.

Ohh, it's off.

You really think I look ugly?

I don't--I don't like you without hair.

Yeah, well, I don't either.

Why are you laughing?