The Office

You know, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm just like,

bleurgh! I don't want to go to work today.

And then I remember these guys.

Get excited.

Get that tingly feeling in my chest like, ooh.

I think it's safe to say that we all feel that.

Morning team.

That's good.

They're busy.

- Morning Lizzie. - Ah!

Alisha just called to say that she's running ten minutes late.

- For...? - Your 10 a.m. meeting.

Which will now be at 10:10.

How many people do we have signed in today?

Four. Johann's in the toilet.

The rest are working from home.

Johnny, how many guys are on the floor today?

Come in.

Sorry, mate.

Just firing off a big report.

And sent.

What can I do you for?

As you know, Hannah, we've been looking at attendance across the branches.

Well, you certainly don't need to worry about numbers here.

- So, Johnny from the warehouse? - No, What?

Umm, ah, you know what?

I can see the resemblance, but no, that's not him.

You were saying?

Well, we've reviewed our flexible work practices,

and given the low attendance rates,

Flinley Craddick can no longer justify the cost of our office spaces.

Yeah,

We're going to close the regional branches and everyone will go remote.

- What? - Well, the warehouse will still stay open.

Everyone else will work from home.

I think that's a bad idea.

So what are we talking?

Home detention, house arrest?

What are we... What are we talking here Alisha?

Please calm down. Hannah.

Those people out there are like family to me.

And I won't let you throw them out on the street.

No one is going out on the street, Hannah. They're just going home.

Do you think we can run Australia's fourth largest packaging company

from the isolation of our own homes?

We can't.

Your lease expires at the end of next month so...

What if we bring everyone in full time?

That'll boost productivity, right?

If we bring everyone in, I guarantee we can make a year's worth of rent

by the end of next month.

- $300,000. - 300,000?

Yes. Too easy.

How are you even going to convince your staff to come in full time?

I won't need to convince them. I'll just ask them.

Please, Alisha.

Please, please, please.

- Fine. I'll talk to the board. - Yes!

Yes!

But if any of your staff members complain about being forced

to come in full time, you are not to blame it on head office.

Why would I do that?

Won't even mention your name.

That is Johnny from the warehouse.

What? Johnny, shame on you.

If there's anyone here that doesn't actually work up here,

can you please leave?

Thank you.

Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into you guys.

Not cool.

Welcome, welcome. Come on in. Pile in.

Yeah. Oh, there he is, Marty HR. Look out!

So exciting to see everyone in the building all at once.

Yeah.

Great. Is that everyone?

We're one short. Do you want to wait?

Who is it? Lloyd?

Nah.

Firstly, may I say thank you very much for coming in at such short notice,

and what an absolute pleasure it is to look out and see

a room full of smiling faces.

Secondly, for those of you who haven't met Sebastian, this is Sebastian.

Come on up.

Come on. Yeah.

Sebastian started with us last week on a three month unpaid internship on loan

from McClay Business College.

And I think I speak for everyone when I say it's nice to have

some new blood in the office.

Some fresh blood.

I started as an intern. I was Sebastian.

She's been doing that vampire shtick for over seven years.

I want to suck your blood.

- Can I sit... down Thanks. - Yeah. Yeah. By all means.

And thirdly, the big news.

- Oh. - Oh.

Er, It's a lockout, Lloyd. As specified on the phone call.

- Yeah, I get that. - Yeah, just let him in.

- But it's a lockout. - Yeah, just let him in.

Yeah, we can wait.

- G'day. - Hi.

Sorry... just had to drive in from Woy Woy.

- So, yeah. - Yep. Lovely.

- So the big news. - Oh, don't tell us the quiz is off.

- Oh, no. - No, Nick, the quiz is not off.

The good news is...

As of today, we are all back in the office full time.

Yes!

Wait. What?

That's not good news.

No, I know. This isn't the good news.

This is the bad news that I forgot to tell you earlier.

The bad news. And get this.

Alisha comes in this morning

and tells me that head office are forcing us to come back to the office full time,

effective immediately.

I know. And she set new productivity targets.

$300,000 by the end of next month.

What?

And I tried to talk her back around but... do you know what, though?

At least we've got each other and a fully stocked fridge.

Oh, no. The card declined and so the order...

It will be stocked.

So, wait, what? What was the good news?

The good news is that now we can do

TGI Friday trivia quiz IRL.

What's IRL?

This is IRL. In Real Life.

As much as everyone loves being here at work,

the reality is, we have lives.

You know, people have homes and pets and children and partners

that we'd rather be spending time with.

So yeah, it's frustrating.

And also even people that don't have some or any of those things

because they've sacrificed all of it for their career,

It is still frustrating.

I imagine.

...220 by 320 but for your product,

I think our bubble pouches would offer more protection and that's...

Sorry. What was that?

Yeah. Could you just give me one second?

Sorry. Thank you.

Hey, what's going on with all this?

I am trying to find a distinctive chime for this week's quiz.

Yeah, cool.

I'm just trying to do my job and close the sale.

That sounds like a Nick problem and not a Lizzie problem.

Couldn't just put some headphones in.

No, Nick, I couldn't, because how could I concentrate with that

- in my ear? - Yeah.

How could you concentrate with that in your ear?

I hate how you make me do this.

Nick, give me back my Tassie devil.

I'll give your devil back when you stop making those annoying noises.

I don't negotiate with terrorists.

Nick is a joke.

He is a mess around clown.

Sorry about that.

So, as I was saying, the bubble pouches. Hello?

Hello?

The perks of coming to work? Riling up Lizzie.

Watching Nick rile up Lizzie.

Flirting. Who doesn't flirt at work?

And sales.

Obviously very, very passionate about sales.

Whoa, whoa.

This one... Whoa.

Hola. Como estas?

- Yep. - You want to see me?

Close the door.

I'm promoting you to Productivity Manager.

You're in charge of making that 300K and I'm in charge of staff morale.

Sort of like good cop, bad cop.

Yeah, yeah. Which one am I?

- Bad cop. Yeah. - Bad cop.

- I need you to ride that sales team. - Oh. Giddy up.

Can I expect a raise?

- No, no, no. - No...

But I do want you to come and see this.

Oh!

- I'm on the toilet. - That's very clever.

Yeah, that's very clever.

There's not enough fibre in my diet. Oh, yeah.

Hey, don't get a haemorrhoid. Don't get a haemorrhoid.

All right, that's that's...

300K. Make it happen. Yeah?

Yes, sir.

Please don't call me that.

She / Her, you know.

I'm going to need you to relinquish your chair please.

I love a challenge.

Being challenged makes me feel alive.

Like I've got something to fight for.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on? Hey.

Oh. I am increasing productivity in the workplace.