Royal Pains

Previously, on royal pains...

- You let a billionaire hospital trustee die

To save some kid off the street.

- I made a judgment call. - You made a mistake.

- This trip is gonna get you back on your feet.

- What trip? - To the Hamptons!

- Boris Kuester Von Jurgens-Ratenicz.

Stay in my guest cottage for the summer.

- You can't let go of my hand, can you?

- No, I can't. - This thing you have...

It's genetic. - Quite fatal.

- And I'd like to start making some calls

As your primary care physician.

Your...Quarterback.

Where will you start?

At the beginning.

Dr. Marisa Casseras.

- Hey! You going somewhere?

Boris.

Oh, yeah?

Hey, what are you doing?

Welcome...

To pimp my handbag, Henry.

- What better ad campaign is there than us, right?

I've even got a monogram. Look...

That's your initials right there.

Look, I got one for me too. Look...My initials.

And there's more.

Yay.

- Huh? And...Hankpops.

You know, for kids.

I like my old-fashioned bag.

Well, you can keep using it.

And I will.

- To store your old-fashioned business ideas.

- Okay, okay. I'll use the bag.

- "metropolitan genetic testing associates."

Are you still trying to prove that we're not related?

"Boris Kuester... " - give me...

- Did Boris inherit more than a European banking empire, Hank?

So he summoned you to the manor?

No, to his winter residence.

I guess that's billionaire speak for the city.

- Well, I'm going to the city right now.

You want a ride?

Boris sent his car.

To take you to the city?

To take me to the airport.

Boris also sent his plane.

what?

- Sorry, I'll take the bag, but not the baggage.

Boris's pl...

Henry.

Please take the baggage.

I will not take the baggage.

Please take the baggage.

You do know Manhattan is like 90 miles away, right?

It's gonna be, like, an 11-minute flight.

- Yeah, only Boris would send a plane

To do a helicopter's job.

- All right, first of all, let's show some respect here.

It's not a plane, it's a jet.

And secondly... and this is my point...

You'll never even know I'm there, like I...

- Look, he sent this thing so I could come quickly

And go quickly without any encumbrances... no offense.

- Hank, I have business in the city.

I gotta line up this swag for mass production.

Eddie r. Set me up with this guy who works for Scott Megur.

Scott Megur, the... Megur merchandising,

The promotional powerhouse?

- Oh, wait, wait, wait. The Megur merchandising?

The Megur merchan... right. Yeah.

Hank. Hank!

If you leave me here, I'm gonna drive anyway.

Let's just jet pool and reduce our carbon footprint.

Think about it, Hank.

You could do the right thing here,

Or you could kill a polar bear.

- All right, don't distract me. Don't distract the pilot.

And don't show anyone any more hankmed tchohkes.

Done, done, and done.

- And don't do that, either. - Okay.

Henry...

What?

- These seats are made of lambskin.

Oh...What a relief.

- How much to you think this costs?

The seat or the plane?

Dude, it's a jet.

Oh...

- Gentlemen, I can take lunch orders at your convenience.

Oh, thank you very much.

- Shouldn't we be landing any minute?

Where the hell are we going?

Jesus.

Did we land on the sun?

Close, but no cigar.

Why, you know where we are?

- We're on a very exclusive island.

- That is definitely an acceptable surprise.

Boris.

Hank.

Welcome to Cuba.

* my independence went away *

* I didn't listen when it said *

* rely on yourself *

* trusting someone else *

* is a path for the silent ghost *

- The jet was comfortable, I trust.

Yeah.

Must have been an expensive flight.

Especially the landing in Cuba part.

- See? Told you it's called a jet.

Ugh.

I don't want to overtax you,

But we'll be heading into town soon, so...

This is so awesome.

I've wanted to see Cuba my entire life.

So where are we gonna start?

Actually, Hank and I

Will be keeping to our own itinerary,

Thank you, Mr. Lawson.

Consuela. - Okay.

Por favor.

Gracias.

You...

Oh, right now.

Okay. Great.

I'll see you guys soon.

Good.

For the record...

I know you're a busy man,

And sometimes I'll have to come to you.

But I don't appreciate being renditioned.

- Would you have willingly traveled

To an embargoed nation, Hank?

I guess we'll never know.

You'll be home by Monday.

I took the liberty of finding someone to replace you

For the weekend in the Hamptons.

Really?

Well, that is quite a liberty.

Doctors typically have some say in who covers for them.

- Ours is not a typical situation.

Wouldn't you agree?

- Okay, let's discuss why I'm here.

I assume it has to to do with the Cuban geneticist you saw,

Dr. Casseras.

- She's put my markers to good use.

Dr. Casseras has diagnosed me, Hank.

With what?

- Well, the naming board is still haggling

Over what to call it.

But it appears that I'm carrying a rare

Hereditary mutation

In the ninth chromosome

Of the vcp gene.

- Okay, genetics isn't my field, Boris.

- It means that one day, perhaps quite soon,

My muscles will turn to jelly

And my bones will become breadsticks.

Fortunately, once the dementia sets in,

I'll be too oblivious to mind any of that.

- But you didn't fly all the way down here

Just so she could tell you that.

- No, I flew down here because she has a clinical trial

For a very promising protocol.

Huh.

All right, well,

In order to be cleared for something like that,

You'd need a careful and thorough evaluation.

And that's why I'm here.

Blood tests, bone scans,

Cardiovascular evaluations.

The kind of fun I wouldn't want to enjoy without you, Hank.

I'm honored.

Let's get started.

Hi.

Uh, did you have an appointment?

- I have a few. Dr. Emily peck.

Okay.

I'm Dr. Lawson's replacement.

Replacement?

why would he need replacing?

You must be Divya.

- Boris hired you? - Mm-hmm.

- But Hank's just in New York for the day.

- All I know is I'm in this job for the weekend.

So...Should we get started?

Since we're already lag.

Uh...Lagging?

- When you're early, you're on time.

When you're on time, you're late.

And when you're late, you're fired.

At least, that's my philosophy.

What is that?

- That is the sound of being majorly outside

Our coverage area, I know.

Is he gonna be all right?