The Big Bang Theory

English Subtitles. The Big Bang Theory S09E24 The Convergence Convergence

Hey.

Hi, how was the screening?

Oh, Sheldon invoked Rosa Parks

to make somebody who cut the line feel bad,

but only the white people felt bad.

Ugh, I should've never bought him that coloring book

that explains Black History Month.

How'd it go with my mother?

Uh, you know, it started a little rocky,

but I think we got to a good place.

Wow.

Well done.

Yeah, and when I dropped her off at the hotel,

she even gave me a hug.

Did she think you were choking or...

I'm sorry, that's great.

Thank you for spending time with her.

No problem.

Um, so listen,

I don't know if you have any plans next weekend,

but I kind of promised your mom

we'd have another wedding ceremony

so she could attend this time.

Wait, we're gonna get married again?

Yeah, kind of, but now we can invite our friends and family.

Seems like a lot of trouble for a hug.

Come on, it'll be fun,

and, you know, your mom was genuinely hurt

we didn't invite her to the first one.

Look, in our defense,

it was kind of a spur of the moment thing,

and also, we don't like her.

Leonard, come on, she's your mom.

If we can do something to make her happy,

why wouldn't we?

I just said why--

we don't like her.

Hey, look, then forget about her,

let's do it for us.

We could keep it small and informal.

This time we can invite our families.

Is your brother out of prison?

Thanks to overcrowding, yeah.

I'd love it if my dad could come.

Oh, you have to invite him.

I haven't seen him since the divorce.

Oh, he's like a different man.

Oh. He stopped twitching,

and I think he grew an inch and a half.

Well, then it's settled.

Yay.

God.

So funny.

I never thought my second marriage would be to you!

== sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man

Okay, so it's not a legal ceremony,

it's just a chance for us

to redo our vows so everyone can be part of it.

So there's no maid of honor?

No.

Huh.

But if I were to, say, wear a purple satin dress

with a sweetheart neckline and stand near you,

you wouldn't be able to stop me, right?

I don't see how I could.

Then I graciously accept.

Who's going to officiate?

I was kind of hoping you would.

Wait, now I'm just some lousy maid of honor?

Hey, good news, I just got off the phone with my mother.

She is coming to the wedding.

Okay, wait,

you're inviting people to our wedding?

Yes, I'm inviting people to our wedding.

Yeah, I've already asked

Stephen Hawking and Robert Downey Jr.

And now, don't get your hopes up, 'cause he's pretty busy,

but Erno Rubik.

Who's Erno Rubik?

Seriously?

He invented the Rubik's Cube.

Okay, fine,

but why would you invite him to our wedding?

Because, despite his fame and fortune,

he strikes me as a lonely man.

Well, it's very sweet

of you to go to all this trouble for Leonard's mother.

Yeah, I'm also doing it for Leonard.

I think this could really help their relationship.

How dare you invite your father without consulting me!

Sorry, but I don't think I need your permission

to have my father at my wedding.

You do understand our marriage ended because he had an affair.

I know,

and there's no excuse for that.

He claimed I was cold, emasculating,

and hadn't shown him any physical affection for years.

I was wrong, there's three excuses for that.

Oh, my God.

It's working.

You sure?

Look.

The system is maintaining its own stability,

the quantum vortex apparatus is now controlling the orientation.

You're right.

You realize what this means?

Yeah.

I do.

It's proof of concept.

We've got a workable guidance system.

Congratulations.

Thanks!

Hey,

I just got an e-mail from the U.S. Air Force.

Open it.

Hmm.

"We request a meeting at your earliest convenience

"regarding your quantum guidance system,

provisional patent 62/295118."

That's weird.

Is there a window around here we don't know about?

I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Yeah, of course.

What else could it be?

Boy, do I love America.

Thank you for picking me up.

Oh, you're welcome.

I was speaking to your young lady.

My pleasure, Mrs. Cooper.

Oh, please call me Mary.

Okay, Mary.

You know, that doesn't work for me,

let's stay with Mrs. Cooper.

Sheldon, don't be silly.

Wait, what?

That's what I called you till I got to know you better.

It was so nice of Leonard and Penny to invite me.

Well, actually, I... It sure was.

I've always had a special place in my heart for Leonard.

Taking care of my baby all these years.

Excuse me,

I take care of him.

Sure you do.

So who else is coming to this shindig?

Oh, well, the usual gang.

Penny's family is coming tomorrow.

Yeah, and Leonard's mother's already here.

Oh, Beverly.

How nice.

You've met her, right?

Yes, I have.

Mother, she's an atheist,

not a vampire.

Either way, let's stop and get some garlic.

So, Mary, how have you been?

Well, thank you so much for asking.

I've been well, and you?

Very good. Good.

I don't know what

we were worried about; they're getting along great.

Sheldon tells me your husband's coming.

My ex-husband.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Don't be.

All right.

Whew, chilly.

I think I can see my breath.

We can hear you.

Sorry. Sorry.

I can't believe I was so naive.

The military is just gonna

take over the whole project.

And you know what happens if we object?

We disappear.

Like off the map.

Like every American Idol winner since season four.

Come on, Howard, you're overreacting.

Am I?

Am I?

Wha-- what do you want to bet some black ops guy

is reprinting my high school yearbook

and I'm no longer in it?

That chess club picture is now

just David Zimmerman and Elaine Cho.

Okay, look, I'm on the Air Force Web site,

and the department that e-mailed you

is in charge of acquisitions.

So maybe they just want to give you

a lot of money for your invention.

Oh, please, that's not how it works.

You saw E.T., Avatar, Jurassic World.

The military just shows up and takes over.

You do realize those weren't documentaries, right?

I'm sorry, you find this funny?

No, I was just thinking about Jurassic World.

Boy, that was terrible.

Oh, we have to use the stairs.

When are they gonna fix your elevator?

Uh... I don't-- any day now.