Strange Bedfellows

Just leave the keys in it, Stan!

Right!

You missed him, Vonnie.

Ah, well.

Not to worry, Ralph.

I'll get him.

Morning, Ralph.

You should learn to relax, Fred.

I just thought I'd better make sure

these silly buggers

didn't kill themselves.

Don't pull on it!

Let go of it, then.

You're doing

a great job, mate.

Let me do it.

Do it yourself, then.

Bloody women.

Hey, Vincie.

Yeah.

Bitch!

You look happy, Vince. Did you win the lottery?

Cow.

Vincent.

Hey, Father.

Ooh, Vincent, looks like being a beautiful day.

Yeah.

Ralph?

G'day, Vincie.

Well, mate, she's really

shafted me this time.

Ah, the wife again, eh?

Ex-wife, as she's only too quick to point out.

Look what I found in my post office box

this morning.

Just tell me, mate.

I promised Dan the Man

I'd have this fixed by lunchtime.

It's a letter

from that shonky city accountant of hers.

I knew they had some scheme going,

some income average and off-bloody-shore thing.

I don't know; I just went along with it.

Now the chickens are coming home to roost,

and they owe years in back taxes.

Fantastic, mate.

She had it coming to her.

She has nothing coming to her.

I do.

How come?

I don't know how they did it.

I just signed whatever they put in front of me.

I mean, she was me wife; I trusted her.

Pity she didn't feel the same way about you.

Well, I thought she did

when they insisted that all the companies be in my name

so on paper,

it looks like I've earned all this bloody money.

Well, obviously, you didn't.

No, mate.

She got the money; I get the tax.

Now the bloody tax department's coming after me.

Gee, Vincie.

I mean, it wasn't like

she didn't do well out of the divorce.

I mean, she took virtually everything

with her when she left.

Yeah, but then it was all hers

in the first place, wasn't it?

Well, yeah, but it was a partnership.

She had the capital;

I provided the professional expertise.

Yeah, well, at least

she left you the picture theater.

Yeah, lucky me.

More trouble than it's worth.

Why not sell it, then?

Sell me theater?

It's the only bloody thing I've got left in the world.

Won't even have that

if I get socked with this tax bill.

I'm not kidding, mate.

Things keep going like this, I won't see the year out.

Join the club.

You're doing okay.

Oh, I got plenty to work on.

But, you know.

Mate, you got to start charging the going rate.

Stop letting people put it on the slate.

We're not the only ones doing it tough, you know.

How's it going?

Oh, she's done, mate.

The carbie was running a bit lean.

What do I owe you?

Oh, don't worry about it; it only took five minutes.

Get off me!

Get off me!

Can't you two keep your hands off each other?

Pair of pansies.

I'll drop you around some tomatoes later.

Yeah, mate.

Tomatoes.

Can I have your attention, please?

Mr. Coulston. Mr. Quirk.

Okay.

Ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests,

Father Delaney, Counselor Rogers.

Feel free to get on with it, love.

As you are all well-aware, the Firemen's Ball

and the St. Patrick's Women's Auxiliary Ball

are usually held at different times.

There's a reason for that.

But this year,

we've decided to combine the two.

They felt the firies

were having too much fun.

So...

Father Delaney and his Ladies' Committee

will be in charge of organizing the catering.

Does it involve loaves and fishes, Father?

Mr. Williams.

In the unlikely event

that you actually have something worthwhile to add,

would you please raise your hand

and not just interject?

Mr. Coulston.

Yourself and the fire brigade

will be responsible

for ticket production and sales.

Sorry, Faith.

I think Ralph has something to add.

Loser.

Idiot.

You weren't up to your usual form, mate.

Now, is everyone clear

as to who's doing what?

Well, we certainly know who's doing all the talking.

Mr. Hopgood,

you and Mr. Williams just make sure

you've got the old fire truck right for the night.

No worries, Faith.

You boys are wicked.

I'd better go and milk the moo cows.

Those bawdy calves you gave me

are going well, Stan.

Good, good.

You got a show tonight?

8:000, mate.

Well, have a good one.

Yeah.

Maybe things will look better in the morning.

Yeah, let's hope so.

Morning, Shirley.

Hello, Emily.

See you on Sunday.

It's Nubler.

He just throws the mailbag onto the veranda

with no respect at all for the contents.

Here we are, Jack.

That's $6.75, thank you.

Here you go.

I'll keep an eye out.

I might catch him speeding.

3 plus 7, that's 100.

Thanks, love.

Do you want

to post that, Father?

I certainly do, my dear.

By the way, Yvonne,

Gloria Murphy dropped me a line

from Paris about her trip.

And she's sending me some holy water from Lourdes,

God bless her soul, for my arthritis.

Do you think you could keep an eye out for it?

Of course, Father.

I'll be with you in a minute, Vince.

Oh, no hurry, Vonnie.

Hi, Jack.

Hey, Vince.

Father. Vincent.

I suppose you'll be

putting us to shame at the ball as usual, Father.

Oh, get out, Jack.

It's the only dancing I get these days.

I noticed the banner went up yesterday.

Should bring a few people in.

Hey, Vincie?

Yeah.

Money's on the counter, Vonnie.

I've got it, Ralph.

I have got it.

Got what?

The answer.

What's the question?

You know, me tax problem.

Look at this.

The government's just passed this bill.

Politics.

You know I don't vote.

Yeah, but you do know