The Mysteries of Laura

(OVER VOICEMAIL) You've reached Detective Laura Diamond,

NYPD, 2nd Precinct.

If this is an emergency, you should be calling 911, not me.

- Leave a message. - (BEEPS)

Laura, you probably don't remember me...

We really need your help.

They're gonna kill us.

No, no, no wait!

(GRUNTS)

Jennifer and I are taking all of the boys for Chinese!

Mmm.

You mind if I keep ours for tonight?

More Xbox time for me.

Good night.

You okay?

Of course.

You have one new message.

Today, one minute ago.

(PANTING) Laura, you probably don't remember me...

We really need your help.

They're gonna kill us.

No, no, no wait!

End of message.

You sure you're okay?

Now, I'm not.

You don't recognize the voice?

I do, I just can't place it.

Each one of these files is a background sound I was able to isolate.

Here's number one. (KEYBOARD CLACKING)

Okay, train brakes, above ground,

that narrows it down to all five boroughs,

the metro,

and the Long Island rail road. Next.

A boat?

So East River or Hudson.

Okay.

East River ferry runs

underneath the Manhattan Bridge,

trains run on either side of it.

So Manhattan side or Brooklyn side?

Let's see what else we got.

Okay, well if it was the Manhattan side,

we'd hear FDR traffic

and the Wall Street heliport.

There's no way we'd be able

to make out bird sounds.

So Brooklyn side?

A place that has no traffic and birds.

Eureka!

Brooklyn Bridge Park.

Train, water adjacent,

quiet at night,

tons of bird poop.

Half way through the call he breaks glass.

Play the glass breaking again.

I think I know where he went.

What made you think of this place?

Jake and I used to come here.

Best calzone in the city and...

Annoying jangly bell on the door.

Here.

You know this guy?

Uh, I've seen him before, I just don't remember from where.

Laura, what are you doing?

We're in the 82nd's jurisdiction.

We can't touch anything until CSU gets here.

This isn't our body.

Guess it is now.

- So why were you his last call? Ever. - Let's find out.

No wallet, ID.

He left somewhere in a hurry.

Sweatpants, no socks, t-shirt, it's freezing outside.

Lucky Eight Motel on Mott.

Gum's still soft.

So our victim most likely ran here from there.

- Where are you going? - Uh, the Lucky Eight Motel.

This isn't our body, and we can't leave a crime scene unsecured.

(LAURA WHISTLES)

Hi.

By the power vested in me, I hereby deputize you to secure this crime scene.

Congratulations.

Does that come with more pay?

Uh, that is an HR question.

But there's a dead body in there.

So no one comes in or out until the cops show up.

The other cops.

That's him.

We had a lot of complaints about this room.

What kind of complaints?

Shouting, obscenities, breaking things...

Well, you know, couple stuff.

He was part of a couple?

Hmm, pretty girl. Loud.

Ian Gendry.

Hmm, that's not the name I have on file.

That's 'cause he didn't want anyone to know he was staying here.

Someone found him anyway.

No forced entry, windows open.

So the victim heard something,

peaked out front, bailed out back.

Then someone searches the room

for something worth killing over.

You have been a really big help.

Can you just give us a moment?

Thanks.

That's it.

Tell me what's going on.

That's definitely the victim.

- Must be the wife. - It's the girlfriend.

And you know that because?

She's my sister.

You never thought to mention you have a sister?

Please lay off the sister talk for now.

I have to figure out what she's into this time.

This time?

Ho-oh!

Hello, Reynaldo.

You're awfully buddy-buddy with the 82nd.

Fun fact, I actually work with the entire NYPD, not just you, Diamond.

Detective Harris from the 82nd.

This is Detective Diamond and Bose of the 2nd.

Oh, the geniuses who put a meter maid in charge of my John Doe.

They're called traffic agents now.

His name's Ian Gendry,

he left this in his motel room.

No need to thank us, it's what geniuses do.

How are you even here right now?

Guy left a message on my voice-mail, we tracked the call here.

He called you? Why?

That's what we're here to find out.

Any other injuries besides the gunshot wounds?

Ah, don't answer that.

This is the 82nd's case.

Okay?

So, you two are done here.

All right, all right, let's go.

Detective Harris doesn't want our help.

I'm gonna need that voice-mail file.

Why didn't you tell him about your sister?

Because if I had,

she would be Harris' prime suspect.

I've got to find her before he does.

You think she did this?

My sister is a liar, a mooch, a butthead,

but she's no murderer.

Well, I hope you know what you're doing.

What the hell were you doing?

- I was simply... - No!

That was a rhetorical question.

Do you want to know what I was doing at 3:30 this morning?

Is that a real question or a rhetorical one?

I was on the phone with the captain from the 82nd

getting my ass chewed off!

Who leaves another precinct's crime scene

in the hands of a freaking meter maid?

Why is no one giving them respect today?

I might be having an embolism right here, right now!

You are on desk duty for...

- Forever! - Okay.

I don't want to hear it from you, I...

- What's that now? - I said, "Okay." Desk duty.

Did you know Laura has a sister?

Laura mentioned Lucy?

- That's a surprise. - Why is that?

Well, when Laura was 17, her dad had an affair with a paralegal.

Oh!

So half-sister, not in Laura's life.

Laura tried for years, but Lucy was...

Let's just say, she's Laura without the moral compass.

Jeez.

At our wedding she took off with a case of whiskey and a valet parker.

She was 16!

Mmm. How did she come up?

She didn't.

What are you doing?

Laura's on desk duty, thus I'm on desk duty.

Lots of paperwork on my lady's plate.

Why are you doing it at her desk?

So it looks right on the server, duh.

Then where is Laura?

Since I'm doing this, she's doing the coffee run.

Quid pro quo.

Laura went out into the freezing cold, to get you a coffee.

I know, go figure.

The girl really hates her some paperwork.

What's the name of the game?

Sweet ginger brown.

- (LAUGHING) - Oh, come on.

Good.

Nice.

Hustling your neighbors out of their soft snacks.

I don't always win, last week I lost a pair of slippers.

How's Lucy?

Lucy?