The Pitt

Next time, maybe inform the department chair

before the shit hits the fan.

I was on my way to tell you.

Make sure you get everything you need.

OK, let's do this.

IT called me up because

I've trained in cyberattack prevention and response.

Then you can tell everybody what to do.

No, thank you.

Best if it comes from the department chair.

Oh, you think?

All right, everybody, circle up.

What the fuck?

We may have had a cyberattack.

No, we shut down to prevent a cyberattack.

OK, everybody, settle down. Listen up.

As you can see, we're doing a little

redecorating in the central work area.

Our hospital computers are at risk for a cyberattack,

so we are going old school, analog.

- For how long? - Great question.

Our IT department has shut everything down

to give them time to bolster our cyber defenses.

I believe the question was, for how long?

Uh, hard to say.

Could be up to 24 hours.

Jesus Christ.

So first order of business,

we need to replicate the electronic patient boards

on these dry-erase boards.

So please, somebody tell me

they got a photo of the boards.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right here. OK.

Oh, uh...

It's a little blurry.

No, more than a little blurry.

- Sorry. - Oh, my God.

- I remember. - Great.

If everybody else can remember their patient names

and their room numbers, that would be awesome.

No, I mean I can remember all of it.

All of what?

Names, doctors, room numbers.

I kind of have a photographic memory.

Seriously? The whole board?

Central 12, Harlow Graham, headache,

- abdominal pain, ASL only. - Oh, shit.

I have an interpreter waiting for me.

- Go. - OK, for patient privacy,

all chief complaints will be abbreviated.

So HA for headache,

AP for abdominal pain, and so forth.

Central 10, Jackson Davis, new-onset psychosis.

Javadi, psych admission.

Greek letter psi for psych.

Pedes is Baby Jane Doe, fever, Dr. Mohan,

awaiting admission orders.

Nurses need to convert to a zone defense...

North, central, south, trauma.

Where's Dana?

In with a sexual assault case.

She can't leave until the exam is finished.

Yeah, it could be a while.

Princess has charge nurse experience.

- Not really. - That's a great idea.

Princess it is.

You can make the nursing assignments.

- Next. - Central 9,

Roxie Hamler, end-stage lung cancer.

Sorry, do we have to stand here while

- she recites the whole board? - No.

In fact, go check on your patients

and then please come back here.

Thank you.

How many hours a day are you on your laptop?

At least eight hours.

I work from home.

And are you at a desk all day?

No, no.

I will either sit on the sofa,

or sometimes I'll be in bed,

kind of sitting up with the computer on my lap,

that kind of thing.

So you're always looking down at the screen?

- Yeah. - OK.

I'm going to check the muscles in your neck.

- Ooh! - Ooh!

Ow, that hurts.

All right. Well, I think we can help.

Come on over.

OK, gather up.

Listen up, everybody. This is our chart rack.

So as you can see, each slot and clipboard

has a room number on it.

When you pick up a new patient,

you grab a fresh chart from the T-system.

Pick your chart by chief complaint.

Use the cartoon to find it.

Why are there two bodies?

Trauma on the left, medical on the right.

So head injury, you go left.

Headache, go right.

Are those fish swimming in seaweed?

No.

That is bees and grass.

That's the section for insect bites,

skin rash, allergies.

OK, let's say, for example,

Dr. Al-Hashimi has a new patient with belly pain.

For the history, circle the positives,

like vomiting and diarrhea.

Backslash the negative, such as recent travel,

sick contacts, fever.

For physical exam, check mark normals on the left,

and circle any abnormal findings on the right.

Questions?

Is your generative AI program

still gonna be working?

Not for a while.

And ditch your SpectraLink phones.

Those are voice over internet.

PTMC Emergency.

Go ahead, Medic Command.

That is how we will hear about incoming runs.

Thanks.

Two minutes out with abdominal pain and fever.

OK, has everybody got that so far?

How do we write orders?

Physician order form in triplicate.

Labs, X-rays, IV fluid, medication.

Will the labs still be able to run blood tests?

Yes.

Are the CT scanners still working?

Yes, but the results will come back

on paper from the radiologist.

This is the dark ages.

So if you have orders with labs or X-rays,

they go into the clerk file here.

They will sign them off.

They will add a downtime slip on them,

make sure they go to the correct department.

I'm sorry, who are the clerks?

- You're looking at them. - At your service.

Larry and Antoine are filling in

- until more help arrives. - We got this.

After the clerk orders, chart gets moved

to the nursing order rack here for IVs,

medications, procedures.

Medications are locked up in the PDS.

The PDS is getting unlocked by a clinical pharmacist,

- Dr. Megan Nordt. - We've got your back.

This is a lot.

Any questions? Yes.

Uh, no.

What's up with the third rack?

When your patient is ready to be discharged,

chart goes here.

This lets everybody know

we're about to have an open bed.

Or that your tuna melt is up.

Jesse?

- What is that? - What is that?

That is a fax machine.

They still make those?

This is our lifeline to labs and X-rays.

When the results come back, they will fax to us,

and the clerks will put them on the charts.

- Yes? - If you say so.

Incoming.

OK, Dr. McKay, Dr. Whitaker, Ogilvie, you're with me.

The rest of you, build your clipboards.

Howard Knox, 52, abdominal pain and fever.

152 over 90, tachy at 120.

- Couldn't get an IV. - I wonder why.

Hello, sir. My name is Dr. Robby.

- Howard. - This is a teaching hospital.

I'll be supervising Doctors McKay and Dr. Whitaker

- and student Dr. Ogilvie. - Hey.

- Hello. - How are you feeling?

- Not so great. - OK.

- Princess, what's free? - Trauma 1.

Perlah?

All right, orders for Mylanta and bupivacaine, Central 12.

Wrong spot, Dr. Santos.

And you need a sticker.

Put it in the nursing orders rack.

And meet me over at PDS.

How much does this suck?

I didn't think today could get any worse.

This is how we rolled when I was a resident.

Was that in the 1900s?

Yeah, when charts were written by candlelight.

Hey, today will be an adventure.

Think of it like "Back to the Future."

Or possibly "Titanic."

Here is your antacid.

Cheers.

And I marked the trigger point

that is bringing out your headache,