Pinky and the Brain

Gee, Brain,

what do you want to do tonight?

The same thing we do every night, Pinky,

try to take over the world.

Pinky: narf!

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Pinky, will you stop doing that infernal dance?

But Brain, it's the Schmeerskahoven!

Schmeerska what?

Schmeerskahoven.

It's the latest dance craze from Denmark! Zort!

This isn't a disco, Pinky.

I have shrunken us to molecular size,

and we are traveling through an artery,

inside the human body.

But what about the happy psychedelic lights

and mind-numbing rhythmic thumping?

Those happy lights

are actually blood cells whooshing past us.

And that thumping is the beating of the heart,

which is propelling us to our destination--

the larynx of folksy radio personality

tom bodett--

pitchman for a popular chain of motels,

as well as the voice artist

for those tedious good idea/bad idea segments.

There, I will implant

my trache-o-matic control chip.

Pinky: ooh!

Then you can make him say all sorts of funny things,

like, help, help! I'm trapped in a Bo--

Pinky, we aren't going to all this trouble

to indulge in cheap parlor tricks, all right?

It's all right.

When middle America hears my plea for submission

uttered in tom bodett's dulcet tones,

they will be unable to resist,

allowing me to take over the world!

Both: whoa!

Oof! Oof!

Aah! It's a white blood cell!

Something must have happened

to the immuno-suppressant shield.

Well, maybe he just wants to dance.

No, Pinky. He wants to destroy us,

like the germ he thinks we are.

Quickly, take evasive action.

Ok.

Sorry, my dance card is full!

I meant something more like this.

Both: whoa!

Uhh! Uhh!

I should have left you

at the islet of Langerhans, Pinky.

Brain: ahh! Oh, no!

Our little detour

has caused us to veer into the nasal cavity.

Ah...

ah...

choo!

Both: aah!

Oh, excuse me.

Um, I'll try that again.

Ahem.

It's time for another good idea/bad idea.

Uh, tom,

could you give me more on the word "good"?

Sure, just let me get a sip of water.

Whoa! Whoa!

Aah! Aah!

Oof! Oof!

Brain: my ship.

Oh, and this plan was such a good idea.

Good idea-- going to a disco.

Bad idea--

going to a disco in tom bodett's nose. Narf!

I feel another good idea coming on.

Now come, Pinky.

Since we are presently the size of anthrax spores,

it will take an inordinate amount of time

to walk back to the lab.

Pinky: well, we can always pass the time

dancing the Schmeerskahoven!

eee! Schmeerskahoven.

Only a simpleton would do that pathetic dance.

Gosh!

This sure is hard!

Hey, what's the big idea?

Come down from there, bill.

We have something important to discuss.

Aw, shucks.

I took a bath last week!

Not that!

Look, America's report card.

Test scores are dropping

at an alarming rate!

Many of today's high school graduates can't even read.

Gee, that--that is bad.

Worst of all,

people actually think Pauly shore is funny.

Bio-dome rocked my world!

Hey, buh-ddy.

Buh-ddy.

We've got to host a conference

to stop this dumbing-Down of America.

We'll invite all the world's

leading experts on the Brain.

Aren't you overreacting, honey?

Man, southern accent: Mr. President!

Mrs. President!

I done tried to brung did the coffee!

But I keepeded burnin' my hands.

You're supposed to put it in cups, bobby bob.

Uh-huh.

I rest my case.

Well, let me see if'n we got

any of them there, uh..."cups."

Aah!

Don't you worry about that, bobby bob.

I've got something special for you to do.

And it doesn't involve

walking and carrying hot beverages

at the same time.

Good. That's hard.

Hey, don't I know it.

The president and I are going to be hosting

a little conference,

and I want you to make sure

all the people written down on this list

are invited, Ok?

O-tay!

"The...Brain."

Oh, his name is real big.

He must Be's important.

"The Brain,

"acme labs,

Usa."

Hold still, Pinky.

Now let's get to work.

We must construct a new ship for interbody travel.

It's from the white house.

Hmm.

Must be a thank you card

for those jokes I sent Al gore.

He's probably asking for more.

"You are cordially invited

to a white house conference on..."

"The Brain?"

Pinky, the white house

is throwing a soirée in honor of...

me!

They must finally have seen fit

to recognize my great accomplishments.

Like getting sneezed out of tom bodett's nose?

Pinky, the captain has turned on

the no idiots sign.

Please refrain from speaking.

Ok.

Now, dust off your tux.

We're off to the white house.

Welcome to the white house.

Please take a complimentary balloon animal.

Ahem!

I am the Brain.

Brain, Brain, Brain.

I don't see...

oh, here you are.

Your name is real big.

You must be important.

Hey, whatcha got there?

My little speech.

A manifesto, if you will.