Sliders

Ah... poor Quinn Mallory.

He was just a boy.

Sliding to him

was like a box of matches.

He opened the box, he played with fire,

and he got burned!

Like Icarus --

he flew too close to the sun,

and... it melted his wings.

That is so beautiful, Ryan.

Q-Ball's not even cold and his woman's got eyes for another guy.

Well, that's all we can do here.

Anyone hungry?

What are we waiting for, huh?

Wait, come back.

Don't leave me!

No-oo!

Sorry to wake you up, my boy...

but we slide in a couple of minutes.

How are you feeling?

Like if I died, no one would care.

How long was I out?

You've been in and out of consciousness for the past three days.

You gave us quite a scare, man.

With that bullet lodged in your shoulder,

Ryan had a devil of a trouble getting it out.

Man, what a dream.

I dreamt Ryan asked Wade to stay with him.

He did.

I said no.

When we woke up this morning he was gone.

He saved your life, Quinn...

and I think I broke his heart.

Are you wondering -- if you made a mistake?

I'm just glad you're all right.

What if you could travel to parallel worlds?

The same year, the same Earth,

only different dimensions?

A world where the Russians rule America?

Or where your dreams of being a superstar came true?

Or where San Francisco was a maximum security prison?

My friends and I found the gateway.

Now the problem is finding a way back home.

He's hurt, Professor. We've got to get him to a doctor.

Where are we gonna find one this time of night? This place looks dead.

Oh! My shoulder.

My shoulder, aah!

Okay, what have we got here? What have we got here?

"Sorcerer... sorcerer.

Sorcerer, sorcerer, sorcerer...

Doctor." Found one!

Well, would you look at you all,

Just shivering and chilled to the bone.

You make me wish I was outside enjoying the storm.

Our friend here has been injured.

Oh, fight with a jealous lover?

Nothing quite so salacious, madam. Is there a doctor present?

The doctor is meditating in his chambers,

and I will get him for you while you fill out these forms.

There's one constant about every America we visit.

Yeah, the healthcare system always sucks.

All right. Right this way.

Okay.

All right now.

Let's see -- perfect.

Okay, the doctor will be right with you.

Thank you.

Hmph.

Why did you wait so long to bring him to me?

Hey... we brought him here as fast as we could.

Your head aches, right?

I will fix it for you.

Has he ever had chicken pox?

Beats me.

I'll put that down as "Yes."

Allergies, does he have any allergies?

Professor, come and take a look at this stuff.

Oh...

This is nonsense anyway.

That, my dear, is an eye chart,

though I confess, I don't recognize the alphabet.

I do -- it's the "Witches' Alphabet."

My friend Sabrina was into this stuff.

"Manfred Xang, MD,

Doctor of Philosophy, Auric and Pranic healing,

spells, formulas, divinations."

Good heavens! Do you realize what we've done?

We have delivered Quinn into the hands of a witch doctor.

Uh-uh-uh! You may not disturb the doctor while he is behind closed doors.

Madam, to call that quack a quack,

is to insult every genuine quack in the medical profession.

Hey! You all right?

Of course he's all right.

Don't worry.

Your epidural sheath is epidendrum-like.

Has anyone ever told you that before?

- What's he saying? - He's coming on to you.

Your friend's headache is annihilated.

Headache? He's got a gunshot wound in his shoulder!

That's too bad, I don't do shoulders.

I'll bet that the Sorcerer could help.

He wouldn't see you of course, but still, you can get

some of his miracle balm at the marketplace.

So who is this "Sorcerer"?

How dare you mention that charlatan in my presence?

Thanks to the Sorcerer,

my practice is half what it was.

Just pay your bill and go!

As for you, my dear, you may stay.

$266? For what?

Your friend's headache's gone. Services rendered.

You know, actually, I do feel better.

That's beside the point. We don't have this kind of money.

Hmm...

Given the fraudulent nature of this man's claims...

I suggest a response that harkens back to our childhoods.

Run! Run like hell.

Fools!

I will bring a thousand curses down upon your heads!

Devil coax you to split Grandma's skull?

Voices in your head

urge you to push your sister down the stairs?

Look at you. Always turning on the TV first chance you get.

It's all in the interest of science.

What better way to scope out a culture?

Demon bill collectors showing up at your door?

- I'm the lawyer who can stop them. - Q-Ball, look who's here.

That shyster lawyer from our world.

I can get those demons off your back!

I mean, off your back!

I'm Ross J. Kelly, and I'll fight for you!

A world full of vampires.

I'm not gonna sleep a wink until we slide out of this place.

Mr. Sorcerer Steak Sauce, now just $1.79.

"Sorcerer" this, "Sorcerer" that --

this guy's got the market cornered on everything.

Yeah, but I'd love to get a piece of his action!

We'll-- use the closet in the other room.

Rembrandt.

Quinn.

There's something coming.

Come in.

What is it?

It's a subpoena.

I'm being sued.

Process servers.

That's why grim reapers get those gigs.

The intimidation factor.

And they just love waking folks up in the middle of the night.

After reviewing the summons that reaper handed you,

there's not a whole lot I can do.

You said you could get bill collectors off our backs.

You said, "Off our backs."

But you ran out on a bill owed to an accredited shaman.

I'm good, but I'm not that good.

We'll just have to find a way to get some cash.

Didn't you read the fine print before you signed that medical form?

No.

Dr. Xang has filed for a "retribution substitution."

What does that mean?

He gets his choice of a body part

for his medical experiments if you default.

And he's chosen, according to this document, your brain.

You can't be serious.

This is some kind of a joke, right?

Sure, keep telling yourself that.

Well-- what else can we do?

We could file for a delay,

but by the time we got one you'd be dead.

This is insane.

I can't believe a civilized society could allow something like this.

I can try and talk to Xang's people,

but in the meantime, stay off the streets.

You can't underestimate the danger you are in.

In a few hours, every demon bounty hunter in the city

will be tracking you down.

Have you got any idea

what brains go for on the black market?

So what's the verdict?

Big trouble.

Is there anything we can do?

Only the Sorcerer can help you now.

But of course, he'd never see you.

Sorcerers, grim reapers?

Hogwash! We have seen nothing on this world

that cannot be explained by natural law.

Oh, yeah? That freakazoid last night

didn't look too "natural" to me.

Six feet tall and 45 pounds.

That was a reject from a Halloween carnival.

Using makeup and costume to intimidate the simpleminded.

Meaning us?

If the hat fits, wear it.

Don't look now, guys, but we're being followed.

Quick, in here.

I've been expecting you.

Please be seated.

You have come such along way to get here.

You must be very sad to be separated

from your loved ones by such a great distance.