Ang Tanging Ina N'yong Lahat

Oh God!

My son!

My son!

My son!

Let's go. We'll be late for the shoot.

But I'm still crying.

Oh, leave that to Eddie's mom. She can outcry you anyway.

-C'mon! -I don't want to go yet.

C'mon! We can't be late for the shoot. Let's go!

-Ma'am Ina. Where's our pay? -What?

Go ask Eddie's mom. We're in a hurry.

It's almost call time. Let's go!

It's taking so long!

Is it my turn?

-Director? -Why is it taking so long?

I'm really sorry, Ina, for making you wait so long.

It's OK. What's happening, anyway?

Where is she?

Sir, she can't make it today.

-I just talked to her. -She can't make it?

The lead actress can't make it to the shoot today.

OK, this is what we'll do instead.

We'll have the dog run here and jump over there. Jump.

Sir, the dog cannot jump.

What? The dog cannot jump? Gosh!

Oh, I know.

Let's look for a stunt double for the dog then.

But we don't have a stunt double for the dog.

There's no double?

We do, however, have a stunt double for Angel, our lead actress.

Is that so? OK, just a sec.

Ma'am Ina...

I really thank you for helping me out here in my directorial debut.

But of course, Bruno. Anything for you.

Uh, can you be the stunt double for the dog?

What?

But Bruno, I'm the stunt double for the lead actress,

not the dog.

But it's easy, Ma'am Ina.

All you have to do is run and jump over there.

-What? Me, jump? -Yes!

No way! I might die doing that stunt.

You know I have lots of kids to take care of.

But it's not that high. Just about five floors.

-Five floors? No way! -C'mon.

Come over here, Bestfriend.

Don't pass up this chance. We're here anyway.

Remember, you need the money for that surprise birthday party

you're planning with your kids.

But I'm the stunt double for the lead actress.

There's no way I'm doing stunts for a dog. No way!

Here I am, still surviving despite all the things that have happened to me

and my children through the years.

My eldest child, Juan, has joined his wife in New Zealand.

They have good jobs over there.

Because of my second child Tudis' love for the arts,

she flew to Canada to marry a painter... a house painter, that is.

My child Por, badly hurt by her breakup with boyfriend Jeffrey,

joined GMA, Global Missionaries of Asia in India.

My other child Sixto is now doing well as a nurse in London.

He gets paid in pounds.

And here are the rest of my children, who have loyally stayed with me:

My hardworking child Tri is a call center supervisor at night.

He studies Law during the day.

My child Pip has not given up on his showbiz dreams.

He shows up at all the auditions.

-What's this? -A bag of rice.

Isn't this the line for the PBB audition?

It's PBB , all right. But a different kind.

LINE FOR THE VILLAGE'S RICE

Rice?

My industrious child Seven helps me take care of the twins for now.

Are you waiting for your ward as well?

No, I'm not a nanny. I'm waiting for my sisters.

Seven!

My child Cate has strong political convictions.

She fights for everything she believes in.

The problem is, she's against a lot of things.

My child Shammy is still in school.

But he's more into making money than studying,

which has been a huge headache for me.

But who knows? He might turn out to be a businessman in the future.

My child Tenten is the kindest and quietest of them all.

I don't hear any complaints from him.

My youngests, Connie and Sweet,

are such precocious and naughty little ones.

But that's just normal for kids their age.

Connie, what happened to her? Sweet?

-Gotcha! -Gotcha!

I'm going to get you two.

And, of course, if I'm the protagonist, there is always an antagonist.

My best friend, Rowena.

It feels so hot in here.

-Oh, do you know what that's called? -What?

You're going through menopause.

Of course not. You're older than me. You'll go through menopause first.

Excuse me, but I was born in 1964. You were born in 1962.

And you look like you're 62.

-I'll go and play Mahjong instead. -A game for an old lady like you.

Since Rowena is not good with business, my diner went bankrupt.

I had to close it down.

Good morning, children!

I'm so lucky with my children, for they don't give me any big problems.

No one's a drug addict nor a pusher.

They get into a little trouble from time to time but that's normal.

C'mon, Bestfriend. You can do it. C'mon!

Ouch! It hurts!

Here they come.

Here they come.

There's lots of food!

Is it our birthday today?

No, we already turned seven. That's a six.

-So, whose birthday is it? -I don't know.

-Wow. -Oh, my God!

It's Mom's birthday today. It's her 46th.

-It's Mom's birthday. -Ma?

I told you we were forgetting something today.

-I'm sorry. -Sorry, Mom.

I'm sorry, Mom. We thought you were at a shoot with Rowena.

Not one of you remembered my birthday.

I even prepared a surprise treat for everyone.

I didn't think I'd be the one surprised.

I'm no longer part of my children's daily lives...

since I don't tend to their daily needs anymore.

Perhaps I should do something to make me more important to them.

Bestfriend Ina, what are you doing here?

Hey, wait.

Serves you right.

The teacher's here. Hurry!

What "ma'am"? I'm a student here, too.

-What time is it, miss? -It's 10:30.

10:30? I'm late.

If Superman can be two people

and can change into his costume inside a phone booth,

I can be both a working mother and a student myself.

Miss, we'd like to order chicken barbecue.

What's your order?

Please hurry. It's so hot here.

As much as I deny that I'm going through menopause,

I can't deny my hot flushes.

Goodness!

I got fired from that job, so I tried looking for a cooler place to work.

It's not my dream job, but at least I have my best friend, Rowena, to visit me.

Look, we can apply for this new job.

-We'll have a uniform, and we'll be... -Hey, Ina!

Why are you not working? I bet all you do is cool your heels.

Oh stop it, Bestfriend. The hell he cares about you.

You're right.

Let's go.

Be careful.

Ma'am, I'm a solo parent.

I've done all sorts of jobs:

a bus conductor, a construction worker, a pirated DVD vendor, a stuntwoman.

I've never had that flexible work schedule you were talking about.

If you can't report for work, you don't get paid.

If you're a woman, they give you a hard time

about becoming a construction worker.

Is that what you call no work discrimination?

You don't get parental leave even if you give birth twelve times.

And there is no educational benefit for the kids.

It is you who is inconsiderate.

What right do you have to talk about benefits?

Who do you think you are? God?

That's good! She's great!

She's really good!

What am I talking about?

I think you're arrogant.

But please understand that we're talking about the law,

not personal experiences.

I forgive you. But I have a point, right?

Mrs. Montecillo, when it comes to the law and my fellow men,

I take things seriously.

Seriously? Really?

I'll think about it, ma'am.

Mrs. Montecillo, I'm bothered by your twins' answers to their homework.

-They tell me that you helped them do it. -That's right, ma'am.

Take a look at this: What's the English word for uwak?

-They wrote "eagle". -Is that wrong, ma'am?

Mrs. Montecillo, it's "crow". "Eagle" is the English for agila.

Ma'am, they both have wings.

And once they're up there in the sky, you can no longer tell one from the other.

Here's another, Mrs. Montecillo:

-"What's the use of a palatial home..." -"... if you don't live there."

That's wrong, Mrs. Montecillo. The saying goes:

"What's the use of a palatial home if an owl lives there."

I think you're the one who's wrong.

First, why would you let an owl live in a palace?

It's a bird, so it should live in a tree.

And we don't live in a palace so we really don't care.

So, you're wrong and I'm right.

Mrs. Montecillo, I suggest you just get a private tutor for your kids.

Or better yet, you go back to school yourself.

I sent my kids here so you can teach them right.

If you can't do that, I might as well pull them out of here.

Besides, you charge very high tuition fees.

I'm also good in those sayings:

so we can have a big gang."

You keep on scratching your head. Must be lice.

Hey, why have you not changed your clothes?

We're still doing our homework.