Last Man Standing

Good morning, Kyle.

Oh, good morning, sir.

Yeah, I was having a nice conversation with Terry in sporting goods.

Uh, remind men again... man or woman?

Oh, uh, woman, sir.

Damn.

Would you apologize to her for me, please?

See if... see if you can get her to wear some kind of a lady hat or something.

Hey, morning.

Whoa! Check out, Mr. B!

Nice threads!

Uh-oh, did somebody die?

No, we're having a meeting with Billie Cassidy this morning.

Should be here any minute.

It's my lucky deal-making tie.

Lucky I wore it.

I just talked Terry out of a lawsuit.

Oh.

Well, you look very sharp, sir.

Thank you.

Well, anytime you're meeting an old flame,

you... you have to present well, huh?

That's why I always keep a crisply ironed shirt in my car

just in case I run into Helen Mirren again.

Uh, wait a minute.

Did I hear that right?

You used to date Billie Cassidy?

Really? Helen Mirren gets me nothing?

I don't know who that is, but I'm guessing she's not

a world-famous rock climber like Billie Cassidy.

She and I went to university of Michigan together.

I was unpacking my bow, carrying it up to my dorm room, and she looked at it.

She said, "is that a compound bow?"

And I said, "sure is."

She goes, "it's for sissies!"

I looked right at her.

I said, "yeah, go to hell!"

Next thing I knew, we were making out in front of a bunch of hippies.

Helen Mirren is an academy award-winning actress!

Okay, well, unless she also once set her own broken leg

with an axe handle, I'm still on team Billie.

There you go.

I need you to dazzle her, Mikey, all right?

Climber's World wants Billie's brand...

...A-and so do we.

This thing could be huge for us, so don't be afraid

to, you know, walk her down memory lane, hmm?

Yeah.

Billie and I had some great times.

I think that's the only girl I ever dated

that liked climbing, hunting, and shooting more than I did.

Oh. That was years ago, and, you know,

time has a way of rounding that stuff off, you know?

Speak for yourself, sissy!

Go to hell!

Ah, you got to hell.

So, as you can see, from the water-sports area

to camping, fishing, hunting, and guns,

everything in Outdoor Man is top of the line.

Wow, very impressive.

Well, thanks.

But kind of sad.

W-why is it sad?

Well, the Mike Baxter I knew used to use all of this stuff,

and now you're just walking around with a goofy tie on and pointing at it.

I'm wearing this because somebody died.

Hopefully before they saw it.

Come on.

I've field-tested every single thing in my store,

except maybe the hand warmers.

If my fingers get that cold, I'll just snap 'em off.

"Snap 'em off."

Well, it's good to see that an old desk jockey like you

gets out into the wilderness every once in a while.

Yeah.

You, your photographer, and your hair-and-makeup team.

I think my reputation's safe.

I've done everything outdoors a person could possibly do.

Oh, I remember.

Except for that one time you thought a bear was watching us.

You know, a bear was watching us.

Ooh! Looked just like your dad.

It did!

Don't say that to your... there they are, there they are!

Just look at you two.

The old sparks are still flying, huh?

Oh, yeah, luckily, everything on this floor is nonflammable.

In our partnership, I'm the closer and Ed's the guy I apologize for.

And I'm the one shopping for his own jet.

Ooh!

So, are we ready to make Outdoor Man the new home for your brand?

Well, it's a great store, Ed, but so is Climber's World.

Hmm. What do you have that they don't?

Me! Ah.

Was he always like this?

No. He used to brag a lot.

Okay, I'm not bragging.

I love this stuff.

I know how to sell this stuff.

I have a big presentation I'd like to show you upstairs, so if you will?

Mike, this is me.

You know I like things simple.

Just tell me what you're thinking.

Okay. All right. All right, all right.

Uh, broad strokes?

Outdoor Man welcomes outdoor woman.

Sounds good. All right, so, we go back to the five peaks that you climbed

that made you famous, right? Yeah.

With the best adventure photography group available.

Yeah, we'll put it all in a special online edition

of our catalog that features your complete line of gear.

Then we will live-stream your last climb,

and maybe, if we're lucky, there will be a dramatic fall.

You ain't gonna get that lucky.

See what I mean?

Yeah, I like it. I really do.

See, you didn't have to do that big dog-and-pony show.

You're really good, Mike.

And yet he's the one shopping for a jet?

Hit we where it hurts... my immense wealth.

I love the concept.

I just would like to make one little, bitty change.

I can make a little, bitty change.

Okay. The best outdoor photographer that I know of is you.

So I think it should just be you and me on this trip.

Alone? Yeah.

Yeah. Just like old times!

Except, of course without the bear.

Yeah.

Billie, I think that's a terrific idea, and so does Mike.

I...do.

Then I'm ready to sign on!

Wonderful!

We'll get that catalog online before the summer climbing season.

Sounds great.

Guys, I got to get out of here.

Mike, I look forward to getting on the cliffs with you again,

and if your hands get cold, I'll snap 'em off!

Way to sell, Mike!

Okay, the hard part's over.

Now the easy part.

Just go home and tell my wife

that I'm gonna go on a road trip with my old girlfriend!

So, uh, why aren't you guys having this yard sale at your place?

Uh, "a," no yard, and, "b," in our neighborhood,

2 bucks for a chair is pretty steep.

You know what?

Wherever you do it, it's a good idea, you know, fresh start.

Perfect time to throw out your entire wardrobe.

Yeah, it's mostly just household items.

Oh.

I know it's hard to get rid of stuff, but in feng shui,

it is important to clear your meridians and keep your energy flowing.

They also say there's no msg in the beef and broccoli, so...

VHS tapes?!

Wow!

And I thought your clothes were dated.

Whoa, those are the hockey fights I taped off TV when I was a kid.

We can't get rid of these.

Yeah, I'm sure we can't.

But we have to try, you know, keep those meridians flowing.

So, how much are you asking for these?

Well, who knows? Because you can't put a price on memories.

Sure you can. Watch... nickel.

Look, babe, there's stuff that I want to keep, too,

but we both agreed to do this.

That's what I love about the fashion world, you know?

When something or someone is old, you just...

Throw it away.

I didn't think it was gonna be this hard.

Yeah, me either.

Hey, maybe it would be easier if we had someone sell the stuff

who isn't emotionally attached...

To anything.

Let's talk commission.

Hey. Hi, honey.

Hey! Hi!

So, how was it seeing the old girlfriend, huh?

She still wearing your I.D. Bracelet?

Ah, so funny... for you.

I think it's so cute how you dressed all fancy for her.

Was she impressed?

Of course she was.

And you were wrong about the tie.

She loved it. Oh.

But get this... I closed the deal.

Oh, nice! Yay!

Congratulations.

Thanks. Good.

She loved my pitch about doing the photo shoot for the catalog.

Yeah, I thought that was a really smart idea.

Yeah, she's all pumped up about taking the trip.

We all are. I'm going, too.

What's for dinner?

You're... you're going?!

I thought we were talking about dinner.

Well, wait. Hold... wait.

I mean, what happened?

You never talked about going before.

I know. It just came up today.