The Sopranos

"Italy was relieved today upon learning...

...that the country's high court...

...had ruled that influence peddling is not a crime.

Said Franco Ferrarotti, an Italian sociologist:

'Essentially the judges are saying

what everybody believes.'

He was referring to raccomandazione,

the Italian custom...

...of seeking special treatment from people in power.

'This is our version of the Protestant ethic, '

Mr. Ferrarotti said.

The case concerned a clerk of a civil court in Potenza...

...who was jailed for promising to speed up someone's trial.

Evidence showed that he received 88 pounds of fish...

...in return for his assistance."

Hello? Yeah, she's here.

She's on duty today.

The same, undercover.

Yeah, let me have her call you back.

Deb, it was your mom.

You complain about your paper on ethnicity.

Here's interesting stuff. It's your background.

We're from Potenza? I thought we were "Nabolidaboli" or whatever.

Napoletani. But this is about Italy as a whole.

The squirrels eat that bread I put out

for the ducks or somebody sweep it up?

I do know that Meadow stepped in

some soggy bread in her bare feet.

You should've heard it.

What's that?

The New York Times

that your friend here has delivered to him...

...every day at school for social studies...

...then doesn't read. I find them in his room.

Make a go of it at that new school.

You got no idea what we had to do to get you in.

There is no reason you shouldn't pass social studies.

You passing social studies?

You just reveal your own ignorance.

It's only been five days. We didn't get grades yet.

I what? I reveal my own what?

Look at that.

Now he's reading.

- Hey, everybody. - Where's Furio?

How you doing, Ton?

A.J., finish getting dressed.

- You want some coffee? - No.

Has Furio got that bug again?

Tony likes to mix it up, you know.

Different cars.

- What, the Caprice? - No, he's turning off.

Take me to my uncle's doctor.

Furio called me. He's going to the fucking track today?

So, what about it?

I don't know. I'm driving again all of a sudden.

I gotta explain why I want you with me this week?

- God forbid you explain. - That's right.

Now you're gonna get fresh about it.

I'm just saying, I'm glad to do it.

Oh, I'm glad you're glad.

Your father was like a mentor to me.

- Right. - A standup.

You ask anybody. Your old man was a legend.

He single-handed hunted down that New England crew.

Brought the war home to them up there.

Another Chevy.

It's nuns.

Might be undercover feds, but I doubt it.

He must be colicky.

I think he likes your hair better that way.

Mr. Soprano.

- There she is. - You be good, now. Don't start.

You ought to see my finish.

You know, you get sued for talk like that nowadays.

Cancel my appointment.

Let me die if a man can't voice...

...to a beautiful woman

the zephyrs blowing through his mind.

My God, will you listen to him today?

Go in there now and strip down to your shorts.

You see, now? I'm not gonna touch that line.

Too much class. But as for that lovely laugh line...

Come on, handsome, we're busy.

Give me that cheek, right here.

I surrender. Do with me what you will.

Okay.

The doctor will be with you both.

So, what'd you wanna see me about?

My trial starts a week from Tuesday.

You'll beat it.

Melvoin's good.

We have to change our arrangement.

Which arrangement is that?

These lawyers are taking my internal organs.

A million bucks for this trial,

Melvoin and Hirshorn are charging.

And that was bad enough.

They put this Harvard kid on, this lackey.

I don't know what the fuck he does.

And then they just decided we needed

audibility experts to testify you can't...

...definitively state what people

are saying on the government tapes.

I could fucking tell them that.

Yeah, well, those guys, they got sound graphs and shit.

Fifty grand the cocksuckers are charging.

Plus the minimization expert,

plus the fucking monthly expenses.

Fucking Lexus fees, the xeroxing.

An entire forest must have given its life in Xerox paper...

...just for this one fucking trial.

I said to Mel,

"Can't we just at one meeting

all read from the same paper?

- Pass it around?" - Our split stays the same.

You kept me in place as boss to take the heat off you.

My legal problems let you go strutting

around like a gabavreesch two years.

- There you go. - Ten points.

I got medical bills too, Anthony.

I got cash-flow problems of my own.

A one-time hit, 50, 75 grand to cover the audibility expert.

I got two kids in private schools.

Goddamn it!

Get your shy running right.

That's what you should be focused on.

Would you like to try some kielbasa? Kentshire Farms.

- Sure. - Nitrate free.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I like Versace's dinnerware...

...but stamping your face on every plate. The ego!

Look who's here.

My God, what are you doing home?

I gotta get this out of my car.

Is that for us?

You're in a good mood.

Want me to fix you a plate?

Will you shut that pocket rat up?

You wanna say hello to Danielle?

Not really.

I should go, anyhow.

Enjoy your wine. Don't listen to his bullshit.

I gotta get up early tomorrow.

No matter how much the john offers?

Pig.

This is beautiful.

Where'd you get it?

You said you were gonna go, go.

- I gotta get some sleep. - I should go.

Froze to death in that mall today.

They go crazy with the air conditioning.

So when am I gonna see you again?

I'll call you.

Okay, sweetie.

Some of those bags look like Gucci.

He gets that stuff all the time. His cousin's a liquidator.

- Bye. - See you.

- You are so fucking rude. - I had a horrible goddamn day.

She's over here all the time lately.

Tony still acting all mean?

Cosette, quiet.

Fucking asshole.

Ever since I questioned his judgment...

...on some Ralphie-Jackie Jr. problem.

Like he's fucking infallible, Pope Tony XXIII or some shit.

Now he starts in with my father...

...so I can be compared all negative.

- Jeez. - You never know.

I could be on the endangered species list.

- Chrissy! - Gonna get high?

Maybe I'll just smoke some.

Stonato. That's more addictive than shooting.

I don't do it every fucking day now...

...like some people.

I'm just chipping. I got it under control.

Chrissy, Tony loves you.

Why would he have you made if he didn't depend on you?

He could depend on me.

When the fuck have I ever not been there 100 percent.

Want some?

Can I talk to you a minute?

Turn this off?

Turn it down.

I'm worried, Tony.

- About my weight? - About money.

So you're getting less allowance than usual.

I told you, it's temporary.

Super Bowl last year, we didn't lay enough off.

No, it's not just that. I'm worried about you...

...about the future...

...me and the kids if something happens to you.

- I don't provide for you? - Now.

I saw Angie Bonpensiero today.

She was handing out free Polish sausage...

...at the supermarket.

Don't start with that. I supported her long enough.

Who is gonna support your children and me?

If, God forbid, something happens to you.

That's the point.

Sil? Paulie? That is frightening.

You'll be taken care of.