Stuck on You

Stuck.on.You.2003.720p.BluRay.x264.YIFY

Slow it down, Bob.

Need a doughnut break. We're having chest pains.

Keep it moving, flabby.

Opening night is less than a week away.

Where in the script does it say that Truman Capote has a fat, saggy ass?.

In the very beginning. "Enter Capote, followed by his fat, saggy ass."

-Hi, Walt. -Oh, Suzie-Q, looking good. Ruthy.

-Let's have drinks again soon. -I'll call you.

Nice. When did you have drinks with her?.

The other day. Didn't I tell you?. She stopped by.

-Well, where was l?. -You were....

Oh, that's right, you were taking a nap.

-So did you make a move?. -I wanted to. I couldn't get her alone.

Had that friend, Ruthy, with her. She's like a frigging shadow.

-Hi. -Pole. Pole. Pole.

Okay, now that's seven mushroom, three onion...

...two regular cheese but one with no pickles.

And we have six fries, four Pepsi, and two 7 UP.

You got 180 seconds, or that food is free.

Keep your wallets handy, boys.

I keep flip-flopping whether to go with the suit or the kimono.

Hey, guys, we've got a tester on number six.

Okay, thanks, Mim. What did Robert Morse do in it?.

He did both, but he had the budget for it.

We got 1 2 American Charlies, seven with fungus, three tearjerkers...

...two bare-assed, hold the pom-poms on one and frog sticks.

We could do it with three hands tied behind our backs!

Rocket, I need four Pepsi and two 7 UP on number six.

Don't forget, you've got two Diet Pepsi on number nine.

You got it, Mimmy. Three 7 UP coming up.

-No, it's two 7 UP-- -I got it. I got it.

Looks like they're having serious trouble.

Come on. Come on.

1 2, 1 1, 10, 9...

-...8, 7, 6, 5... -I'd go with the kimono.

...4, 3, 2--

-I'm sorry, boys. Maybe next time. -Thanks, Mimmy.

So close.

You downloaded another picture of your lnternet pal.

What's her name, Poon Tang?.

-Her name is May Fong. -So she says.

She could be a 50-year-old circus freak...

...with six teeth and a set of hairy walnuts.

Nice.

They paid 3.5 million. We could've gotten it for 1.2.

I want my drink.

Well, hallelujah. We finally got our drinks.

Root beer machine had to be changed.

What the--?. Hold on, pal. Diet Pepsi. We ordered Diet Pepsi. Are you dense?.

I'm Rocket. Dennis works at the post office. Need stamps?.

Oh, so you're a smart-ass, huh?.

Oh, you idiot! These are my good pants!

Oh, those are her good pants.

Honey--

Unbelievable.

-I want to talk to the owner. -All right, right behind you.

Which one of you two is in charge of this dump?.

Your damn busboy just ruined my wife's pants.

Well, I'm sorry about that. You know, club soda's good for that.

I'm sure you think it's very progressive to hire Jerry's Kids...

...but keep the freaks in the back...

...washing dishes, away from the paying customers.

You are absolutely right. How many times have I told you, Walt...

-...we don't want freaks here. -He tells me. I never--

-Ever! Ever, do you?. -For some reason. I don't know why.

We're on top of it. We're gonna handle it right now.

Rocket, let me talk to you for a minute.

You know, we have a rule about freaks in this place. We don't like them.

And we don't want them.

So, Rocket, you see that door over there?.

Would you escort this freak through it?.

No problem. Right this way, please.

I'm not going anywhere.

Don't forget your bag.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Would you like those root beers to go?.

All right, burgers on the house!

-He's just kidding, you cheap bastards. -No, I'm not. No, I'm not.

No, yeah, he is. He is.

-Nice stop, guys. Way to go. -Thanks, Stan.

Great game, Walt. That was a huge win.

Thanks, Stan. I was seeing the puck well tonight.

-Walt, how many saves you guys have?. -I had 1 1, and Bob had 26.

Bob-o was standing on his head out there.

Check this out.

Wow, she's new. Hey, Dave, how about another tall one?.

You got it. How about you there, Bob?.

No, I'm cool. I'm the designated walker tonight.

Got it.

I taste ice cream.

You got a dart in your head, you dumb shit.

Hey, Romeo, how about you invite your friend May out for a visit this spring?.

Vineyard can be romantic that time of year...

...and we so horny.

No, I checked the Farmer's Almanac. It's supposed to be a muddy spring.

No, it's gonna be sloppy. I don't want her to come out--

Seriously, man, I just-- You know, I want it to be right.

-I'm trying to be smart. -You overanalyze this stuff.

What is that supposed to mean?.

You should be talking to this chickie-poo down at the bar.

-No. -Come on.

-Come on. Get over there. Say hello. -No. No. No, don't do it.

-No way. Cut it out. Stop it. -Go on. She's smiling at you.

If she wanted to talk to somebody, she would've brought a friend.

Hi. How are you?. My name's Bob Tenor. But I'm really more of a baritone.

Hi, Bob.

This is my brother, Walt.

Look, if you're ever in town-- I mean, I know you're in town now...

...but I mean, if you're ever in town and not in a bar....

That came off wrong. It sounded like you were a skanky whore.

I'd love it if you'd come by Quikee Burger...

...which is my restaurant that I own with my brother, Walt.

You met him.

Time's up, Casanever.

-Can I join you for a drink?. -Sure.

-Okay. What's your name?. -Debbie.

-Hi, I'm Walt Tenor. -Nice to meet you.

Dear May, thanks for the latest photo,

I look at it whenever I'm in need of a smile,

I'm sending a picture of me at work, Hope you like it,

Yours, Bob,

I'm starting to cramp.

-Hey. -Hey.

-How's the letter coming?. -Good.

Yeah, what do you got?.

It's personal. You know, I don't go nosing into your business.

I'm sorry. Mind typing on your knees?.

Okay.

Here we go. There you go. Turn around.

-Shouldn't you study your lines?. -Not necessary. Locked and loaded.

Then help me stack the wood.

I can't. I could pull something. It's a performance day.

Aren't you a little bit nervous?.

What's a four-letter word for snatch?.

Grab.

You're not even a little bit nervous?.

What's there to be nervous about?.

Well, you're up there in a one-man show, in front of all those people.

You know, I'd be crapping myself.

It's my ninth year, I think I'm just....

I feel like I'm over it, you know?.

-I guess that's how you have to be. -Well....

You're doing that blinking thing. Are you gonna have a panic attack?.

-No, I'm cool. -Are you all right?.

-You all right?. -No, I'm not gonna--

-I'm gonna-- -Oh, God. Take it easy.

-Calm down. -I think I'm dying.

-I'm dying. -You're not.

-Oh, God. -You're having a panic attack.

-Come on. Take it easy. -Get my bag.

Wait, I'm having an arrhythmia.

Here you go. Breathe into the bag. Short breaths.

Concentrate on the breathing.

It's nine years in a row! I don't want to go on-stage.

Why do I have to go on-stage with you?.

You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine, all right?.

You're gonna have fun tonight, all right?.

You're gonna have fun.

Any normal person with a normal sense of self-preservation...

...would understand that all an artist has is his life.

And what he observes as he passes through his life.

And any serious writer hanging out for years with the rich, well...

...my God, you'd have to be deluded to the point of derangement...

...not to realize that that writer was taking notes.

My God, I even told them.

They knew I was writing this book. What did they think I was there for?.

The intellectual stimulation?.

The wit?.

The spiritual uplift?.

I brought the intellect and the wit to the party.

Okay, okay, he's coming. He's coming.

Bravo! Bravo!

-You were just wonderful! -Thank you, Mim.

Yeah, Walt, you were great.

Bob, you sucked.

-Hey. -Come on, Rocket, I'm not an actor.

So, what's up for next year?.

-Oh, I don't know. -Oh, come on, tell them the big idea.

-What is it?. -He wants to do a musical version...

-...of Bonnie and Clyde. -All right!

-You were awesome last night. -Thanks.

Is everything all right?. You seem a little--

Remember when we were little and we first found out we'd never be separated?.

-Sure. -Made a blood pact that day, remember?.

Yeah, we promised we'd never hold each other back, no matter what.

And we never have. Right off the bat, we made a hell of a team.

Trick or treat!

Get them! Get them!

Man, those freaks are fast.

Strike one!

Let's do it! Now, come on! Get out there!

Break. Break. Break. Break. Okay, come on. You keep it clean, now.

You're out!

Your kings and queens!

Right, Betty!

So, what's your point?

Here, sit down.

Oh, jeez.

I want to be an actor.