Marriage with a Liar (婚前試愛)

Wake up.

Who is this?

It's me, your fiance.

What time is it?

It's 7:30, get up.

There's still five minutes.

What's the difference?

Do you know the difference in one digit will cost millions in the lottery?

Do you know I have to sleep 8 hours a day...

So that my skin will look great?

Do you know how this difference...

Will do to my metabolism?

Do you know how many cells will be damaged

because of this call?

Okay...it's my fault...l won't do it tomorrow.

I've got to go to work,

JayZ's concert tonight, right?

See you tonight, bye.

Shit.

Happy wedding!

Cheers!...

Cheers!

Cheers!...

Cheers!

Do you want some more?

I'm getting married next week!

Have some tea, useless.

It's you girls...

So useless.

Since you are still awake, I've got a big gift for you.

It's good stuff.

Jesus! This is your gift?

You're so disgusting!

Come on, stop pretending you are a virgin.

Don't you get bored with Jerry after so many years?

Take this home.

This is the Mighty Cue.

And this one, the Dragon Rod.

Together with these balls...

Enjoy them, sis.

Thanks, I take good care of them

and this will be your birthday gift next year.

You better do.

Look at mine.

Mr. Popular of the year, Playboy Condoms.

With different dots and fruity flavours for your pleasure.

Have fun with Jerry.

Thanks.

By the way, where's Mary?

Don't you know?

She's going through a divorce.

And won't come out at all.

Divorce?

She just got married last year, and divorcing now?

She caught her husband cheating red handed.

It actually started before they got married.

Why did Mary marry such an asshole?

Out of 10 men, only one hasn't cheated, but he is going to

You really want to get married?

What's there to think?

It's been 7 years, it's now or never

Marriage is a big decision, you need to think about it thoroughly.

I really like him and he's been good to me.

Sometimes love can go cold

And become calculative.

You don't want to give and get less than what you deserve

How about having fun with a few handsome guys

Before the big day?

Are you nuts? Who do you think I am?

Let's put it this way.

Mary still regrets that

she didn't have "fun" before her wedding,

And now her husband betrayed her.

I just saw two handsome guys out there, they looked so cool.

Grab your handbag then.

You're really in a hurry.

No, I drank too much, I wanna puke.

Come on'?!

Move... Over there...

Gorgeous, you look drunk, let me take you home.

Why don't you go home, uncle.

You still have to stay guard tomorrow morning.

Come on, let's have a drink.

Go away, I don't know you.

Here's your chance to know me

Come on, just one drink...

Stop!

What's up, punk?

She's my girlfriend, please leave!

She's your girlfriend?

I wouldn't have bothered her if you have told me earlier

Hey!

Thanks.

Are you okay?

I'm okay.

You don't mind, I told him I'm your boyfriend?

It's alright.

Can I buy you a drink?

That was Egypt, let me tell you...

About my Cannibal Tribe adventure in Africa

Cannibals? Great!

As we got there

The interpreter explained...

That they want to invite us to dinner

We were a bit scared at first

You know, they are cannibals, they might eat us

They knew what we worried about and told us

That they are vegetarians now

We were all relieved by that

But then he added...

Do you know what he said?

What?

He said...

Because humans in a vegetative state taste just as good.

That's funny.

I forgot to introduce myself.

I'm Jack.

I'm Kiki.

Nice to meet you.

Me too.

Isn't she your girlfriend,

why are you introducing yourself now?

Are you trying to fool me?

I hate to be fooled!

Bro, what did you say?

Didn't I tell you guys to learn Indian'?!

I said beat him up!

For fuck sake! Just speak Cantonese!

Stop there!

Run!

What did you say, bro?

Go after them!

Gosh! Why don't you speak Cantonese!

Just go assholes! Shut up!

Thanks.

It's here, I can go by myself

It was really dangerous just now, thanks for your rescue.

I'll say it's pretty even.

You'd better go home and rest.

Nice to meet you.

It's the second time you said that.

Really? Sorry.

You're being hypocritical if you say the same thing over 3 times.

Can we meet again?

What do you think?

Morning.

Morning.

Can I have your number?

Yes.

My number is 95589999.

My number is 95117777.

OK.

Can I ask you out for dinner?

Yes, anytime.

Alright, which way you're going?

I'm going that way.

That way? I'm going this way.

Bye-bye!

OK. Bye-bye!

Gosh, he's stupid, dinner?

Shit! Forgot to change the bed sheet!

Clear, good, work.

Hot chick?

What is it, start "delivery" so early?

Why are you in a rush, late for work?

Yes, I'm meeting someone, see you.

You are getting married in a few days... are you nervous?

Scared?

Why Should I?

Scared that your "husband" will fool around.

Men like to fool around before they get married.

How would you know, are you married?

Well, your "husband" is so handsome...

If you don't keep an eye on him, you might lose him.

Oh, please stop reading Jane Austen

Why don't you actually date a guy

Love is like a dream.

As when you wake up, everything is gone.

Maybe...

Let me teach you, love is like gambling.

If you just watch people betting away

it's true that you won't lose any money

But you won't gain anything either, so why do that?

You just don't get it.

Taxi's here, I gotta go, bye.

Remember to place your bet when your chance comes.

Bugger off, you think I don't want to place a bet?

You just got there before me.

I'll wait and see how long you two could last!

What the hell are you late again?

Sorry...got stuck in the traffic, sorry.

You sneaked out last night

Did you have fun?

Are you nuts? I'm not as horny as you!

Come on,

I saw you chatting with someone in the bar.

I didn't. That wasn't me, you must have been drunk.

I could also say you kissed with that gwai lo?

No, it's not her, that was me.

Since when did that happen?