Royal Pains

Last season on "Royal Pains"...

- How about today we save two for the price of one?

You let a billionaire hospital trustee die To save some kid off the street.

- I made a judgment call. - You made a mistake.

- This trip is gonna get you back on your feet.

- What trip? - To the hamptons.

- Boris kuester von jurgens-ratenicz.

Stay in my guest cottage. For the summer.

Be my concierge doctor.

- Concierge doctor to the rich,

And an on-call doctor to the rest of us.

A robin hood of medicine.

Jill casey, hospital administrator.

So that happened.

- You and I have been down this road before, jill.

- And which road is that, dr. Adams?

- The one with your personal life on one side,

Your professional life on the other.

Pick a lane, miss casey.

My ex was a local doctor too.

- So he's a doctor and I'm a doctor.

That doesn't make me him.

I'm divya. Divya katdare.

I'd like to be your p.A.

- My p.A. - Physician assistant.

Your mother hired me

To help plan your engagement party.

Your what?

- You couldn't possibly understand my situation.

- Is this an arranged marriage?

What if she gets engaged and moves to london?

What are we gonna do?

Is boris sick?

- You can't let go of my hand, can you?

No, I can't.

- This thing you have, it's genetic.

- As you've so diligently discovered, hank, quite fatal.

- You've known your whole life. - How it would end--yes.

My family medical history.

- You don't want your dad to see how far you've come?

We worshipped him.

But then when our mom got sick and we needed him most,

He just walked out on us.

I don't give a damn what he thinks.

Apparently, the check you wrote them

For a new portable ekg machine just bounced.

What's up? - We're broke.

- What do you mean broke? - We got scammed.

- By who? I can't believe you didn't tell me

That dad took all our money.

- Royal Pains - - Season 2, Episode 1: "Spasticity" -

- Mr. Kuester von jurg-- - boris will do.

I'm short on time. - I'm divya katdare.

I work for hank.

- I know who you are, miss katdare.

And in a manner of speaking, hank works for me.

So I'm hoping at least one us knows where he is.

- I'm sure he's with a patient.

- Well, we had an appointment 21 minutes ago.

Shall I grab a copy of us weekly

And take a seat in the waiting room?

- I'll see if I can track him down.

Hank, divya again.

Where are you?

Can't seem to get ahold of you so I'll cover the visit

And try you again when I'm done.

Any other symptoms?

- Yeah, I've had, uh, nsee and ndles

In my hands and arms.

- Hmm. And what line of work are you in, mr. Fisher?

- I produce and star in a bunch of silly infomercials.

- Have you been working very hard lately?

- Actually, I've been playing hooky.

My dad passed away recently, and left me this house.

- Well, my condolences. - Thank you.

- Just been a lot of work sorting through everything.

And I have not been sleeping much lately.

Actually, that's a symptom, right?

"not sleeping much lately,"

If you want to put that down.

What do you think might be wrong?

- Well, I think the sleeplessness

Is causing anxiety

And the anxiety's causing everything else.

I'm going to prescribe you a low dose of ativan.

That should do the trick.

- Great. Okay. Thank you.

Oh, I was actually wondering, just out of curiosity,

Is there an actual hank in hankmed?

- There is. But he's-- - ah, he's playing hooky too.

- Hey, you've reached evan r. Lawson, cfo of hankmed.

Please leave a message. Thanks a lot.

dad?

- The first vacation he took us on

Was a 20-minute drive to new york city.

He called it "the ultimate island getaway."

This is where we stayed.

And this is where you tried finding him a few years later

After he left on his permanent vacation.

- It's not so permanent anymore.

Dad's at the bank.

Right now, he's getting us our money.

- Really? - Yeah.

- And how long ago did he leave?

He left 20 minutes ago.

He left a couple hours ago, okay?

I woke up, he left a note.

- Look at that. He stole your move.

Come on, ev, let's go home.

You made a hell of a mess out there.

You can't clean it up from here.

No, I'm not going home.

He's coming back this time.

I guarantee it.

- How long have you been in touch with him?

What--he's our father.

Despite my best efforts,

It looks like there's still one sucker left in this family

Ready to buy whatever eddie r. Lawson has to sell.

Last chance. You coming or not?

Okay.

Have you seen a green folder?

It was right here on the counter.

- You mean it disappeared without notifying you?

- Again, sorry about that. - It's fine.

I was just worried about you guys.

Well, a little less about evan.

Somewhere deep inside me,

I probably knew he was sitting in a suite at the waldorf.

- - sorry.

I have not seen a green folder. - Okay.

- Any chance you can help me decide our cfo's balance sheet?

How bad is it?

- It is the accounting version of pig latin.

No, I meant financially.

- Well, because we're net 60 and our vendors are net 30,

We depend on our reserves to stay in the black.

In english?

- If we don't find some fast cash soon,

We are in trouble.

- - evan.

- Don't blame him. Blame me.

- Uh, my paycheck bounced. I blame him.

- No, I let him put us in this position.

I should've known better.

But I guess family can cloud your judgment.

Tell me about it.

- You want to talk about it? - You mean about my party?

About my involuntary engagement?

About my impossibly complicated future?

- Yeah. - Not at all.

We have bigger fish to fry.

I.E. Your rain check

With your displeased patient/landlord.

- Are you sick of trying to make drinks at home

That just don't end up right?

Eew. Yuck.

Whenever I try to make drinks at home,

The proportions are all wrong.

Well, not anymore.

I have created the electronic bartender.

This is a no-muss, no-fuss recipe

For classic cocktails.

It's as easy as pushing buttons.

- Well, tell me, how does freedom taste?

Freedom?

Sorry to hear you had to leave before the actual ceremony.

I know. Me too.

- Must've been something important.

- It was, uh--it was business and personal.

So how did raj handle being left at the altar?

- I really don't have time for chitchat, evan.

I can't interpret your kindergarten-level handwriting,

Let alone your byzantine system for insurance codes.

- Whoa, don't get your scrubs in a bunch.

Everything's gonna work out just fine.

You need to get back here

And dig us out of the hole that you put us in.

And you need to do it now.

This is the worst possible time

For you to throw into jeopardy the one thing

That still makes any sense.

- Oh, my god. You went through with it.

Didn't you?

You got engaged.

Div--

- The electronic bartender is yours now

For just four easy payments of $19.95.

- Is there any language you don't speak fluently?

Hank.

Por favor. Momento.

When you want to acquire exquisite cuban roses,

You have to go where they are and learn the language.

- Well, you must've imported them

Before the '63 embargo.

You know your history.

What about my history?

- Uh, I haven't finished reviewing your file.

And not just because I lost it.

I had to deal with a family situation.