Baby Daddy

Hey, Sam.

How's it going?

Fine. You?

All good.

Hey, what was that?

Sexual tension, my friend. Sexual tension.

Subtle flirting and double entendres.

None of those things just happened.

What show are you watching?

Hey, bro, you've got to get over this fixation.

Sam's an amazing manager, we need her.

Hey, Ben, don't forget to pay the beer distributor.

I'm on it.

Oh, my god. You could cut it with a knife.

Hey, Ben.

Just wondering if you wanted to grab some coffee?

Because I'm lame.

Heya, Ben, remember how

after you helped the little guy here crawl out of my hoo-ha...

Don't try and be funny.

He's just a cute guy, just say hi.

Zoey?

Tucker. Hi.

You weren't supposed to hear that.

You're probably wondering why...

Why you're standing in front of our apartment

talking to yourself?

I'm sensing you might

have a little crush on somebody.

Oh, my god. I am so embarrassed.

Can we please just forget that this ever happened?

Yeah, we could, but...

what if the feeling was mutual?

Oh, my god, really?

Oh! That's so great!

But what do I do now?

Because I don't want things to be awkward

after everything Ben and I have been through.

Why don't you just let me talk to him first?

Okay.

Yeah. But just... try to be cool about it.

Please don't make a big deal.

Trust me, if there is one thing

that I know how to do...

it's be cool, girl.

Ben, you are not gonna believe what just happened!

Zoey totally hit on me.

My Zoey?

No, the Zoey formerly known as your Zoey.

Dude, she's into me now. But only if you're cool with it.

Yeah. I mean, I guess.

Thank you, man, you're the best.

Oh, I've got to go lay myself out some outfits.

Well, there's another girl I won't be getting.

You'll never leave me, right?

Emma?

Where...

Hey, seriously, I was talking to you. Where are you going?

Come on. There you are.

Oh, good morning, babe. What's going on?

One of the stupid partner's stupid sisters

is getting a stupid divorce and they're making me handle the stupid case.

That sounds stupid.

It is. It is.

And, because it's my boss's sister,

every little thing that I do is gonna get reported back to him.

Oh, and get this, Joan...

her stupid name is Joan...

wants to be my friend.

Like, hang out, have cocktails.

I honestly can't think of anything worse

than spending my free time with a drunk, middle-aged, divorcee.

Hey, guys.

Your morning just got better.

I know exactly what you're gonna ask.

Why you're here?

- Why you didn't knock? - Why you're using my purse?

All valid.

But the real question is,

"When is Bonnie Wheeler gonna start dating again?"

now.

Uh, any chance you've run that question past Brad,

your husband?

I can't date him.

He's off climbing overseas

when he should be climbing over these D's.

Give it. Give it.

I don't want to.

All right, but calm down. Okay?

You know, it's not like I'm gonna be sleeping with anyone.

I'm just feeling the need for a little male companionship.

And this is where you come in.

You are gonna be my wing girl.

Um, Mom...

she, like you, already has a man:

me, your son,

who's sitting right here.

She's not gonna meet anyone.

It's just that women are more approachable in twos.

I'll peel off the hot one

and Riley can have one of her boring conversations

to distract his less-attractive friend.

Start with your job or your love of plaid or something.

I Don't...

So, what do you say to going out and having a few cocktails?

I say I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Not with me, with someone else.

Here you go, you stud.

How's the date going so far?

Great. Amazing. Perfect.

Dude, she is so into me, man.

I mean, she's already trying to make me jealous.

She keeps talking about you.

Classic chick.

I like you, Perrin.

You remind me of me when I was your age,

but with cheaper shoes and less confidence.

I just can't believe you are pawning me off on some stranger

like I'm a kid with an overbite and a helmet nobody wants to be buddies with.

No, no, not a stranger.

Bonnie is a close, dear person that I know.

And, I just, I think you two would have a lot in common.

Plus, this will give me more time to work on your divorce.

And I am all about work.

Feel free to mention that to your brother.

Oh, speaking of my parents' failed attempt to save their marriage,

that's him.

Hello, Michael.

No, no. The matchstick you forced on me is doing a fine job.

Actually, the matchstick looks like she's a matchmaker.

And she is about to set me up with a tall drink of blonde ale.

And Mama's thirsty.

Dude, why can't I just ask Sam out?

Don't say it's because I'm her boss.

Then I won't say it with my mouth. I'll just say it with my eyes.

It's so unfair.

I've wanted to go out with Sam since I was 14 years old.

I just wish I knew how she felt.

Hey, I know. You could find out...

- Not happening. - Please?

- Forget it. - Don't make me...

You wouldn't.

I gave up Riley for you.

Oh-ho.

Fine.

Just see if she's into me.

But be subtle.

Though, not like that, 'cause that isn't subtle at all.

Hey, you.

What's new?

Just looking over these inventory reports.

I really need some one-on-one time to go over them with your brother.

Oh, yeah, my brother.

Pfft, great guy.

Love him. Speaking of having a drink...

We weren't talking about having a drink.

Well, we are now.

It's called guiding the conversation.

Would you ever consider going out with someone you work with?

It's kind of unprofessional, so... depends who's asking.

Look, we both know what's going on here.

The sexual tension, the subtle flirting, the double entrées.

I'm catching on.

One drink.

Just talk about old times and if you're not into it, no harm, no foul.

What about Riley?

Oh, that's ancient history.

So what do you say?

I say sure. Why not? To old times.

I'll look at my calendar

and can you just let Ben know about all this?

Oh, I'll let Ben know about everything.

So, they totally dropped the charges.

Canadians.

This day is looking up.

I started off with a matchstick and ended up with a bonfire.

You are funsie.

Oh, my god, you're strong.

So do you want another drink?

My sons own this place so everything's on the house,

which is payback for the way they lived in my house.

You have kids?

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, I'm sensing a story.

Well, I was married,

but you know how it goes when one of you turns out to be gay.

Oh, but do I.

Oh.

What are you smiling about?

Is there a slow gas leak in the office again?

I did it. You're having drinks with Sam.

The rest of it's up to you, bro.

What? I said feel her out, not ask her out.

I told you to be subtle, Danny.

Hey, Danny, I checked my calendar and I'm wide open.

Any night you want to go out for that drink is good with me.

May have been a little too subtle.

I can't believe that Sam thinks you asked her out for you.

Now I need to undo what you did and redo what you didn't do

and do what I should have done in the first place. You understand?

Do you?