Wynonna Earp

Previously on Wynonna Earp.

Why did you even come back, Wynonna?

Haven't the people who love you suffered enough?

You said they can't attack the house!

They figured out how to get around the bedrock!

Hey, sis!

Starting again, isn't it? We need that gun!

Wyatt Earp christened it Peacemaker.

Something awful is happening in Purgatory. It has everything

- to do with my last name! - Deputy Marshall Dolls.

- We monitor specific activity. - What kind of activity?

Demons. They can blend in. They look just like us.

Welcome to the Black Badge Division.

Like it or not, you are now consultant deputy for the Black Badge Division.

You need to be smart, discreet. Especially

- when you're hunting demons. - Revenants. Wyatt Earp's kills;

- Daddy called them revenants. - Are you sure

this is one of 'em?

Yeah.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

OK? Government issue...

...and a lot more accurate.

- Jesus Christ! - Woops! Sorry.

Fancy but powerless.

Pretty sure only Peacemaker can send revheads back to Hades.

- You don't know that for a fact. - Wanna bet? Loser buys dinner?

No. You lose, you die. OK? Besides,

- I don't gamble. - You're sending in

- your best agent... - My only agent.

...with the wrong gun that....

- Now, that sounds like a gamble to me. - Good luck.

- You're not coming? - Consider this your first solo mission.

Don't blow it.

I never blow jobs without a please first.

That joke kills with the Hell's Angels. There's something wrong with you.

- Conceal your weapon! - Shit! Yes, OK.

Damn Earps! Always interrupting my good time.

Special deputy! Cross-border task...!

CRAZY CHICK WITH A GUN!

Hey, this ain't Wyatt's gun!

Ugly and dumb. You sure we haven't dated?

Ugh!

Bad revenant! Stay!

Yep...

She better be dead.

This is for what you did to my family.

Earp, no!

- What happened to discreet, huh? - Discreet went out the window

when Red started snacking on lady fingers.

Shit! Go, get him!

- Great, we lost him. - Well, you lost him!

Black Badge is about flying under the radar;

you flew over the radar in a flaming, pink jet.

You made a spectacle of yourself, Deputy.

- Pink? - Yeah, pink!

How dare you! And you owe me dinner.

Seriously, I won the bet so...

I'll settle for tacos.

Ow! Dammit!

What is the target?

Very well. You are it.

Well, I seem to have settled amongst a commune of artists.

How are those bullet holes healing?

Better than your face.

Not to worry, gents, the new heir

is sporting tits, a rabid case of nymphomania,

- and the wrong gun. - She's got Peacemaker.

How long we gotta wait till Boss has her taken out?

I do beg your pardon,

but you gentlemen seem to be having

the most delightful game of five-card brag, and I would

- surely love to buy in. - It's called Texas Hold 'em.

Rules have changed a lot since your day.

- Oh, I reckon I'd pick it up. - You ain't picking up shit.

We know who you are... and who you rode

- alongside of. - Then what better opportunity

to make me pay for my poor choices in friends

than by taking all of my earnings?

Alright.

Despite our trip to the big city,

Wyatt's revenants seem to be concentrated

here in Purgatory, so this will be our battleground.

I'm telling you, none of these are gonna work.

The Black Badge was a top-secret branch of the Marshalls

founded in the 1900s by Roosevelt...

- Eleanor? - Teddy...

to eradicate the paranormal forces

suddenly blossoming on North American soil...

Do you have a flamethrower? 'Cause a flamethrower is at least fun.

...working with your grandfather actually,

Edwin Earp, to handle things up here.

Hmm... yeah. A one-year wonder.

Family legend has it Eddie was only the heir for like 11 months,

but came real close to sending all 77 of Wyatt's kills back to Hell.

77, huh?

That's how many outlaws we'll have to put down?

- Yeah, give or take a 7. - So what about your dad?

- How many revenants did he...? - Not enough.

Ah.

Well now, they're gonna have to deal with you.

Right after you deal with the shit ton of paperwork

you generated after last night's disastrous takedown.

OK. Like, one blonde broke a heel,

and I was trying to smoke the revenant.

Aaah!

Our number 1 priority is to keep the public

- from learning they exist. - People here deserve to know

what they're up against, even if most of these people

- are dicks who hate me. - If the public know

that demons are out there... widespread panic.

OK. Have a little faith.

We've survived hotdog-stuff crust pizzas, so I think we got this.

- What is that? - Maldito, New Mexico.

The last town to realize they were under siege from hellspawn.

- It's a crater. - That's all that was left

after they dispatched the Tomahawk missiles.

- To beat the bad guys? - To contain the story.

You want this to happen to Purgatory?

Normal dudes carry baby pictures in their wallet.

Normal's in the past, Deputy. You're Black Badge now.

WHOOO!

Love you!

Alright, Mr. Know-it-all,

tell me what my sister sees in that d-bag?

I couldn't tell you; I don't do relationships.

How about smiling? You ever do that? Hmm?

See, but it wasn't the whore's burgundy corset

that gave me pause, gentlemen, nor was it the healthy merkin

perched between that sweet dove's legs. No, it was

that she had a tail.

An honest-to-goodness tail

as perky as a pretty puppy dog's

But it wasn't wagging, so I was game.

Why, Levi. Back for more?

I've been keeping your stake warm for you.

Bossman wants to see you.

Well, it is about time.

Gentlemen.

Ugh!

You really are a hard fella to get ahold of.

But it's good to know that once I have

your attention, I really, really...

- Aaah! Godammit! - Sh!

I thought we had an understanding, Hank.

You were to keep to the outskirts of my park.

Well, I like attention. I always have.

- When you were a man? - I still am a man

with a very specific skillset,

one I seek to exploit to financial gain

with a man such as yourself.

You ain't one of us.

But I could be.

You know...

better you and yours to follow the old codes

than these modern-day people who follow none.

- And the Earps? - It is just a matter

of time before they figure out who I really am

and what I did

to their great-great-granddaddy.

Alright, I'll ante up.

Now, you fetch me something of theirs,

something that lets me know what they're up to,

and I'll give you...

- what you really want. - Hahaha!

And what is that?

Revenge.

You sure that's OK, Gus?

- You were just in the hospital. - No, it's medicinal.

No weapons at the table.

"Medicinal," nice.

- Ah! - Oh!

- Hey. - Hey...

Frida Kahlo. Look what I found at the homestead.

Awww! No way! Aw,

I loved colouring. Hey, look,

here's one of Mom, Dad, and Willa.

- Who is this nutsack? - Language, Wynonna.

My imaginary friend.

- You adorable psycho. - Haha!

What was his name again? Bongo? Bill... Bilbo?

Where's my head? I forgot the carrots.

The revenants that took you; recognize them

- from your research? - Hmm, no. Well, I was kind of

busy trying to breathe. Hey, but listen, if I joined Black Badge,

I could bring my research

and my amazing banana muffins.

No! Did you see the bruises on my back

from last night's clubbing? Dude, I didn't even tequila.

- Yeah, but you shot the guy. Right? - Yeah, but I didn't quite put him down.

Oh...

Yeah, yeah, you think?

Tell me where Peacemaker is, and I'll kill your sister fast.

It's in my panty drawer. Why don't we go get it?

Get away from my girls, you nutsack!

- Hey, you stay out of this, Gus! - Like hell I will!

- Wynonna, get the gun! - Wh-what?! What gun?

Where gun?

Bossman said I'd never take it from you.

Can't wait to prove him wrong.

No!