Nisemonogatari

I apologize for this jarring and unexpected development,

but it appears I have been kidnapped.

This happened ten days into summer vacation, on July 29th.

No, it's possible that it's already the 30th.

Oh, you're awake, Araragi-kun.

I'm glad.

I was worried you might have died.

Are you all right?

Does the back of your head hurt?

Senjougahara,

remove these handcuffs.

No.

I knew it! You did this!

I see...

Interesting theory,

assuming you have proof.

I guessed the minute I saw you chose to confine me at this cram school.

Now take off the handcuffs!

No.

No.

Also, I can't. I've thrown away the key.

Seriously?

I also threw away the antidote.

You poisoned me, too?!

That was a lie.

Though it might come true if you don't do as I say.

Float like a butterfly, sting like a butterfly!

Butterflies don't sting!

I said it wrong.

Good for you, to be able to point out my mistake.

Take pride in this moment forever.

What's this new, avant-garde method of admitting your mistakes?

The correct word was "bee."

Bee poison is strong, isn't it?

Don't worry.

Araragi-kun,

I'll protect you.

You won't die.

Because I'll protect you.

I'd prefer to enjoy this conversation

with no unnecessary Evangelion references.

And, um, Gahara-san?

I'm hungry...

And kinda thirsty.

Want to get something to eat?

I expected a wormlike fool like yourself might say that,

so I brought several items with me.

Did you?

Then give me something to drink.

You want something to drink?

Well, I guess...

But I'm going to drink it.

It's good.

What's with that look of longing?

No one said they were giving it to you.

Or did you think I'd feed it to you, mouth-to-mouth?

My, Araragi-kun...

You're so naughty.

In this situation, only Kanbaru would come up with that!

Yeah?

But what about when I made out with you?

Don't bring that up, in this setting!

All right, then.

If you absolutely must drink it, I'll let you.

I absolutely must drink it.

Has this man no pride?

To say something so humiliating, from a simple desire for water.

Wouldn't it be better for you, if you died?

She really seems to be enjoying this.

Very well.

Since you're so insistent,

so pathetic, that I can't bear to look at you,

I'll give you some water, out of sympathy.

Be grateful,

water-drinking bird.

"Water-drinking bird" isn't really an insult, is it?

Lick it.

What's wrong?

You're thirsty, aren't you?

So stretch out your tongue,

and naughtily lick it, like a giraffe.

Hey, Senjougahara.

What?

Aren't you thirsty?

Or was that a lie?

Liars should be punished.

I'll lick it!

I'll totally lick it!

Please let me lick it!

How pathetic.

The ultimate in pathetic.

No normal person would do this, just for some water.

I'm sure you're

a pervert who just enjoys licking girls' fingers, right?

Senjougahara-san was enjoying herself so much, I thought she'd explode.

It's such a wonderful picture, I want to set it as my cell phone wallpaper.

Yeah? Glad to hear it.

Then, next I'd like a rice ball.

All right.

I'm in one of my rare generous moods.

What do you want in it?

It doesn't matter.

An apathetic reply.

Do you prefer bread?

That's not really it.

And as near as I can tell, you haven't bought any bread.

That's true.

I only brought rice balls.

I won't request something you don't have.

If you have no bread to eat, then you can eat cake.

Too tyrannical...

I was raised amidst butterflies and bees.

That should be "and flowers"!

The right answer

Time Passes

I hadn't much time today, so I got lunch from a convenience store.

But don't worry, Araragi-kun.

Starting tomorrow, I'll make your lunch myself.

What is this?

Her motives remain unclear.

Oh, right.

Her motives are totally clear.

Don't worry.

Araragi-kun,

I'll protect you.

To protect me, right?

She's serious.

Probably.

By the way, Senjougahara.

How am I supposed to use the bathroom here?

Don't worry.

I'll change your diaper.

Didn't you know?

I love you, Araragi-kun.

So much that I could embrace you without hesitation,

even if you were entirely covered in feces.

Including your brain, I will manage your entire body,

from ingestion to excretion.

Her love is too extreme!

Episode 1: Karen Bee, Part 1

7/29 Saturday Morning

Over summer break, I'm being tutored each day,

7/29 Saturday

except for Sundays, by Senjougahara.

And also by Hanekawa,

who has some of the school's best grades.

But on that Saturday, July 29th,

Hanekawa, with whom I was to study...

Flashback

"Something that I absolutely can't avoid came up.

I'll make it up to you

in exactly two days!"

Black Scene

And so, I'm bored.

Oh, Onii-chan...

Don't you have your tutoring today?

Yeah.

Hey, where is she?

She?

My bigger little sister.

Karen-chan's out.

Don't get into any trouble, you two.

I resent that. We aren't planning anything.

You're always this way.

You always treat us like children.

You worry too much.

I'm not worried.

I just don't trust you.

Aren't those the same thing?

No.

Worry and trust are two entirely different things.

They're both just words...

Don't stop talking halfway through!

So, where'd the bigger little sister go?

I told you, she isn't in any trouble.

In fact, she went to go help people out of trouble.

That's trouble.

Onii-chan, don't interfere in middle school kids' fights.

It's lame.

In their own way,

fights are also a valid form of communication.

Well, it sounds right when you put it like that.

It isn't that fights per se are wrong.

It's that people simply don't know the proper way to fight.

Fights

But the fights you two get involved with

are always violent.

I refuse to believe that's the right way to fight.

Just shut up!

I don't know!

I don't know anything!

I don't know what's going on with the bigger sister, the littler sister,

or the middle sister!

I don't have a middle sister...

This is why worrying about you isn't ever worth it.

Jeez...

I won't tell you to grow up,

but at least keep quiet.

I don't want to hear that from you.

Well, I suppose that of the two,