The Driller Killer

Right this way, please.

A few days ago, a man was brought to us in a very bad condition.

Poor soul, he doesn't know who he is, or where he's from.

Since he's been with us, he's much better.

There he is, in the front pew.

What does that have to do with us?

Well, Mr. Miller, even though he didn't have any identification,

he did have a stack of paper with your name and telephone number on it.

We thought that you could identify him. Maybe he's a relative.

- What? - Mr. Miller! Mr. Miller!

What's wrong? Did something happen?

I don't understand.

He had your name and your number.

Come on. Downtown, man. Step on it.

What happened in there?

- Who was that old guy? - Craziness.

Who knows? Some fucking degenerate, bum, wino. I don't know.

What did he do to you to make you act so crazy?

What did he do? Fucking guy gripped my hand. Touched my hand.

You didn't recognize him at all?

- Why should I recognize him, man? - The nun said it could be a relative.

Yeah. For real.

You never knew your father.

Carol, please, darlin', what are you saying?

Nothing, please. Don't even say something like that.

This guy's some degenerate, some bum, some wino, some nobody.

That's all. I don't know what the hell we were doing down there in the first place.

Then why did he have your name and phone number

on a piece of paper in his pocket?

He probably found it in the garbage while he was looking for his lunch.

We're here now.

Keep that meter rolling, all right? Just keep that meter rolling.

- We're here now. - Hurry up.

She'll be just a second, all right, pal.

Whoa, whoa, what are you doing?

I'm trying to put the hole here.

You're gonna kill yourself. Give me this thing, man.

- Okay. - Wait.

Give me this. Watch, watch, watch.

Okay, get back, get back.

What do you want over here?

- I want it right there. - Where?

- You want to put a hole right here? - Yeah.

- All right. Right there? Okay. - Yeah.

No!

- I think I want it over there. - Over here?

- On the right side. - On this side?

All right.

No! No! I want it over there.

- Over here? - Mm-hm.

- Okay. Right there? - Mm-hm.

No!

- What do you want? - I think I want it up there.

You want it up there?

- Over here? - To the center.

All right, all right, all right, all right. You're sure?

- Uh-huh. - All right.

Look at this.

"Ernesto Williams, a 50-year-old truck driver

"broke down and wept as he talked about his son Lewis,

"who is accused of hijacking a bus and killing two people.

"All his life he's been depressed, always been down.

"He's a very emotional boy."

I like the .44 killer better.

Oh, God. Listen to this.

"Mrs. Patricia Adams of Queens village gave her poodle a bath,

"and being late for a beauty parlor appointment,

"placed the dog in a microwave oven to dry it off.

"When she turned the oven on, the poodle exploded.

"The woman died of a heart attack."

Con. Perfect name for him.

Holy Christ, man! What is this?

They send us the bill for Madison Square Garden?

What? Are they kidding me, man?

How the hell are we supposed to pay this bill? Is it for three months?

That's the bill for one month.

Christ! What have we got here? A refrigerator, a couple of lights?

The tele... Oh, man. Telephone.

- Oh, no! Houston, Texas. - My mother.

L.A., look at this: L.A., $1.50, L.A., $2.75.

- L.A., $7.50, man. - Yeah, they're mine.

You talk to L.A. for two hours and ten minutes, man?

What, are you going out of your mind? What, are you crazy? Holy Christ!

- Philadelphia? - My sister.

- Miami. - That's mine.

Trenton, New Jersey. Queens. Man... Wait, Queens is a local call.

"Payment of the full amount for telephone service

"is required by this date to avoid interruption of your outgoing service,

"and five days later termination of your incoming service."

That's tomorrow. They're gonna come and turn it off tomorrow.

Turn it off, huh?

We sell this Buffalo, everything is gonna change.

We're gonna have enough money to do what we want when we want to.

We'll be able to get everything we need.

First thing I'm gonna get is snakeskin boots.

Oh, yeah, man, we're gonna get lots of clothes.

And get a boat. Buy ourselves some motorcycles.

And we'll go away. Go to Jamaica.

Morocco. Go to Nepal.

Wherever we are, man, we're gonna go out every night.

You're never gonna know how much I will pay you.

'You never knew your father.

'Who was that guy?'

It's not only hate. It's all around you, this city.

'You said you never knew your father.'

Now you're gonna see it. What's gonna happen?

Oh, God.

Reno!

Sorry, I'm late.

- Listen, I have something for you. - Yeah? What have you got?

Come on. Take it.

Bye.

Hello?

Antonio.

Well, how are you, darling?

Where've you been, you little devil? I've missed you.

Oh, I see.

What is it, Bruce?

Well, what you do is you call Lloyds of London,

and you have them insure it for $300,000.

Do you think you can do that?

Well, good.

I'm sorry. Listen, I picked you up a little trinket.

No, no, I'm not gonna tell you what it is.

I'll show it to you.

Later.

Tonight?

Excuse me.

What is it, Bruce?

Oh. Okay, show him right in.

Antonio... I'll see you later, okay?

Ciao.

- Reno, Reno, it's good to see you. - Good to see you, Dalton.

- Please, sit down. - Thank you very much.

So... tell me, when am I gonna see it?

- Just as soon as I finish with it. - As soon as it's finished?

You mean the masterpiece isn't finished yet, Mr. Miller?

Almost. I need another week.

I need a favor from you first, though.

I'm gonna need an extra 500.

$500 now, and two months ago it was $200 for your girlfriend's abortion.

And three weeks later, it was $150 for extra material costs.

This'll be the final favor. I just need that 500 to keep the landlord off my back.

For Christ's sake. If it isn't one thing with you, it's another, isn't it, Mr. Miller?

Oh, come on, Dalton. It's only $500. This is gonna be my greatest piece.

Wait till you see it. You'll love it.

Give me that 500, and I'll give you that painting in one week.

No.

And that's final?

That's final, Mr. Miller.

Reno!

Reno!

Whoa! Carol!

How did it go today?

Okay, I'll see you later, baby.

Okay, Al, here's the rent for one month.

That's very good, you know, but you're still one month behind.

And come Monday, two months behind. What are you gonna do about that?

Don't worry about it. Reno's almost finished with the Buffalo

and as soon as he's done, we'll be able to pay you all the rent that we owe you.

You don't pay up, everything's gonna be out on the street.

Oh, it's not me. You know, I just work for him.

It's the people in the building I worry about.

Hey, they're gonna call the marshal.

They'll take all your pretty stuff, and put it out on the street.

You're gonna have to sit out there and watch it. People are gonna take it.

Everybody's gonna know you didn't pay the rent.

Don't worry. Like I said, the painting's almost finished.

Worry? I ain't the one that's got to worry.

You gotta worry.

Where the hell is this?

See, they're really good friends of mine,

and they need a place to rehearse for only one month.

- This place is filthy. - Oh, I'll clean it. I love to clean.

- No, you don't want this place. - It's beautiful!

It'll cost you a lot of money.

How much?

We'll take it. It's great! Beautiful!

500 a month. Cash.

Has it got a toilet?

You won't make much noise, will you?

Violins. We're a violin group.

Can anyone tell him? We're a violin group.

- The money. - Give him the money.

It's finished.

And you know we need the money, so why don't you face up to it?

Oh, so it's finished? Thank you.

It's finished. Since when did you become such an expert on painting?

You're telling me it's finished? What do you know about painting anyway?

Really? What do you know about painting?

I'll tell you what you know about painting, man. You don't know nothing.

You know what you know about?

You know about how to bitch, and how to eat, and how to bitch,

and how to shit, and how to bitch,

but you don't know nothing about painting, so I'll tell you when it's gonna be done.

And about the money, man. I don't wanna hear about that money.

It's all you talk about, it's all the other one talks about,

that's all I hear from that fag art dealer uptown,

and I don't wanna hear it, 'cause the sound of that word drives me crazy!

You know what I think about money? I'll tell you what I think about money.