Ballers

Ah!

I know what the problem is. None of the players are black.

Whatever, Reg. Come on, man.

That's my Lionel Messi move right there.

Watch again. Graceful.

I might be playing the wrong sport, y'all.

- Happy days. Happy days, fellas. - Vince!

Angela's got her money

and we have all the pictures back on file, everything.

We can finally move on to bigger and better things.

- For real, man. Thanks, Spencer. - Come on.

So everything is cool?

Everything is now everything.

Okay, everything's everything.

So, what, you gonna swipe my catchphrase now? Is that it?

Man, chill, Reggie.

I'm just saying we don't have to be slobbering all over the man.

You come here trotting on your high horse like you saved the day.

Let's not forget all this shit was Spencer's fault in the first place.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I just came to deliver good news.

That's what we wanted to do.

Well, next time a fucking phone call will do.

Wow.

Well, you're lucky I didn't call Vernon and tell him about

your little joy ride you took with Angie the other night.

- Joy ride? - He's tripping.

I wish I was tripping. She gave me the entire rundown last night.

Every gag-inducing detail.

Man, what the fuck you do now, Reggie?

Nothing. I took her home just like you asked me to.

And we were bonding over what an asshole Spencer is.

But I wasn't the fucking asshole who disrespected her

and made her take the bus home.

- You did what? - She jumped out the car.

Because you pulled your pecker out at the stoplight.

Listen, man, we was getting along.

I thought she wanted to fuck.

So that's your move? Pull out your dick?

What's the big deal?

What's the big deal? You offered to pay her.

Everyone got the right to get paid.

What the fuck is wrong with you, Reggie?

Reg, hey, you treated her like a piece of meat.

- Angie didn't deserve that. - I thought she was a ho.

That shit ain't right, Reg. Ange, she cool.

She ain't even a ho like that.

That's discriminatory.

My cousin Felicia, cooler than a mother.

But she an enormous ho. I mean, suck your dick through your jeans.

What? Felicia ain't cool at all.

I didn't say nothing 'cause I thought nothing of it.

Exactly, that's the problem. You don't think about shit.

You don't consider the consequences and you have no respect.

Man, you said I could trust you, Reg.

- You didn't do what I asked. - Wait, wait.

And you disrespected a woman.

Man, just get up out of my face right now.

- What are you talking about? - I ain't got shit to say to you right now, Reggie. Bounce.

Oh, wow.

Uh...

you know what? Fuck... fuck all y'all.

You don't appreciate me, you don't deserve me.

Nate.

Awkward transition, but I spoke to Dallas.

I told them that we cleared this mess up.

They're gonna send over an offer today.

Vernon, buddy, it's time-sensitive.

Not now, y'all. Look, I got to drive this shit off.

Hopefully there ain't no jizz on my seats.

Mr. Anderson.

Good, good, hoped to catch you.

I better not miss my tee time.

- No, I just need a minute. - 60 seconds, go.

Ahem. I just want to let you know

I don't think the whole boat mess was a joke.

Party got insane, yeah, but we never lost focus

of what we were there to do and we accomplished our goal.

Yeah, you used my bling to get laid.

I didn't get laid.

Yet another colossal failure on your part.

- Thank you, Lanaia. - You're welcome.

Failure?

This whole sports division was my idea.

At least give me credit for that.

It was a pretty good idea.

And I brought Spencer in when you didn't want him.

- He's exceeded my expectations. - Mine, too.

Mr. Anderson, Spencer and I are a team.

If you like his work, you like mine.

But he's Spencer Strasmore and you're...

You're just Joe Krutel.

Gold medalist in being a pain in my butt.

I feel like I put something to rest, you know?

Gained some clarity.

After I passed the CT exam,

it's like new doors have been opening.

- That's great, Spencer. - Yeah.

I double-checked your results

and nothing's changed.

- It's all clear. - Ah, good.

I just wanted to be absolutely sure.

Kind of pulled an Usain Bolt out of here last time.

I believe the starting gun

was my suggesting that you see a psychologist.

Oh, no, no, no. I was just really excited to get the good news.

I couldn't wait to shout it to the world.

- Mm, but now you're back. - Yeah.

Follow-up never killed anybody.

You still having the nightmares?

Flashbacks.

I drilled a guy and knocked him out of the game.

Suffer any permanent damage?

- Me or him? - Him, Spencer.

He never played again.

I see.

Was it a clean hit?

Well, depends on who you ask.

No flags on the play, though.

But now I keep seeing his commercials all over TV.

Dan's Auto Collision. It's fucking weird.

Dan Balsamo.

I love those commercials.

Look, just nut up and go see the guy already.

Doc, you watch your language.

I'm happy to help, Spencer,

but this isn't what I do.

You need to go talk to a psychologist.

Why? I don't need a psychologist. I'm talking to you.

Bye, Spencer.

Hi, Dan's Auto Collision. This is Kerri.

Hi, yeah, I'm calling about an accident I just had. I need some help.

Sure, where can we find you?

I'm at the medical park on the corner of Biscayne and 74th

in a white Range Rover.

Pretty bad shape. You can't miss it.

Oh, and by the way, if you could send Dan...

He's an old friend.

Okay, I'll send him right away.

All right. Great. Thank you. I'll see you soon.

Man, I think you need to call somebody.

Yep, already did.

This better be important, man.

Julie would kill me if she find out I was back over here.

Relax, all right? Me and the boys cooked up something special for you.

Or this guy did.

A little TTD surprise just for you, Chuck.

Ooh!

This is a testimonial of the finest moments

in the career of the great Charles Greane.

A career that seemed dead has now risen from the ashes like a phoenix.

Charles, there's an old saying in the National Football League.

Hands are great, but feet are better.

And you, my friend, had the best feet I have ever witnessed.

You were the Baryshnikov of football.

Your teammates used to call you the Black Swan, for crying out loud,

'cause you were so graceful, you were so nimble.

You owned that line of scrimmage.

Word on the street is Black Swan's coming back.

The game needs you, you need the game.

Freddy T, my rookie year, told me the game's like a roller coaster, buddy.

So get your ass in gear. See you in Foxboro.

It's gonna be nice and cold. It ain't gonna be Miami muggy.

Black Swan was a monster.

Seriously, there was no getting around the dude.

That's right.

Whenever I thought I had a clear path to the quarterback,

he always came back and shut that shit down.

You should still be playing, big man.

Hey, Charles, if you have any itch to still play,

you scratch that son of a bitch off until it bleeds, buddy.

Brother, get back in the game.

I'll see you in Foxboro, buddy.

Let's go a few more rounds, motherfucker.

You need somebody to train you? Call me. I'm your guy.

Ha!

That's what I'm talking about.

Feeling that, Charles?

That's an inspirational TTD joint right there.

Did you like it?

- Can you run it back? - Absolutely, man.

No doubt, man. Hey, the graphics... great touch, man.

Outstanding, brother.

Holy shit.

Blindsided again.

Dan, long time no see.

What do you want?

Well, got a little car trouble.

And, man, I've been seeing your ads all over TV

and figured I'd throw a little business your way.

Don't need your business.

Hey, Dan.

You won't even give me a tow?

You wrecked your car as an excuse to talk to me?

- That's sad. - Come on. You crazy?

You tried to exit on the wrong side of the road.

What? No, I didn't. The sun was in my eyes.

You're wearing sunglasses.

Shit.

Shit. The glasses.

Man, look, my car is busted. I can't take it anywhere.