American Dad!

Aah!

Oh, Stan, I can't believe we're actually going on vacation.

And the resort has so many activities!

Parasailing, snorkeling,

Bellacore Printing Company East Medford New Jersey...

We can go whale watching!

You ain't doing with us.

Mommy?

Your father's been working nonstop lately,

and he and I are spending our vacation reconnecting,

alone.

I guess I'll just hang with Jeff then.

No can do.

I'll be spending my time rolling naked on top of your sister.

See, dude, our sex life is totally dead.

I'd rather hump a garbage disposal

than crawl up on there one more time.

We're hoping vacation sex will get us back on track.

This conversation has become too frank for my liking.

So I guess I'll have fun with Roger then.

It's been a year since my husband Omar passed.

I just need to get away from the apartment.

All those memories.

Oh, God, you're gonna be this old bag all vacation?

You show some respect for your elders.

I lived through the Depression and four seasons

of Caroline in the City!

Deputy Director Bullock.

Oh, sir, I'm afraid I can't help.

I'm going out of town...

Yeah, I guess I could access

the surveillance cameras with my phone.

Stan?

You promised, no work on vacation!

Oh, I promise stuff all the time; it means nothing.

So help me,

if you work through another vacation, when we get back,

I swear to God we're going to that

marriage seminar we saw on TV.

No! Not "Oh No He Didn't, Oh Yes He Did!"

He promised me he'd help me flip the mattress.

And then what happened?

He went to the ball game instead.

Oh, no, he didn't.

Oh, yes, he did!

She's so angry and flat-chested.

Sorry, sir, I'm on vacation.

Ah, see?

Isn't this nice and relaxing?

You know, it really is.

I don't miss the office at all.

In fact, I'm going to e-mail the guys at the CIA

a photo of us, and under the subject,

I'm writing "Suck it!"

'Cause they're there and I'm here, and they can suck it.

Pardon, would you mind taking our picture?

I'd be happy to.

It's a phone, but it also has a camera on it.

I know. I have the same one.

No, that's the 5GS. Top of the line.

Yes. The 5GS.

You're a gardener.

Smile!

Hi, hello. I'm Joe, the outdoor activities director here.

Just sign us up for everything!

Ha, ha!

Your enthusiasm is infectious.

It has inspired me to do this!

Oh, my God, I did it!

I've never done that before!

My confidence is soaring!

I'm gonna try singing.

It's my boss.

Stan...

No work on vacation. That's my motto.

My motto is, "Don't cry because it is over,

smile because it happened."

Why is this guy one-upping me?

Why am I in competition with a gardener?

Excuse me, where's the hotel camp for older kids?

This is the only camp.

What?!

Ginger snap?

Ginger slap!

Dude, run. This place is the worst.

Oh, I'm well aware.

I have heard it rumored that on the other side of this isle

lies a beach whose patrons are au natural.

Yo-yo-yo, we talkin' full vee?

We would have to cross the island by foot.

A journey of several days through treacherous jungle.

Well, usually I hide from danger like a big scaredy-puss.

But there's something about your accent.

You know what, sure, let's do it!

Hey, hey! What are you gonna do with that, huh?!

Nothin'!

Get outta here!

You're a lovely couple.

So, which one of you is the man?

Oh, Omar, you were always the one who was good at small talk.

What am I going to do without you?

Who's gonna set the recorder so I don't miss NCIS?

I love that show!

I haven't missed an episode!

But if I did, it wouldn't matter.

'Cause they're all the same!

I'm Larry.

Abigail. Abigail Lemonparty.

This is my first vacation by myself since my wife departed.

This is my first without Omar.

Would you care for a Necco wafer?

Oh.

Mmm.

Those people at Necco really know how

to make a disgusting candy.

So that was hotel sex.

Still terrible.

Tell me about it.

I wanted it to be over so bad

I just dumped some room service mayo on your back.

Well, I guess that's it.

We've been married two years and now our sex life is over.

Francine, if you want to get to ten,

you need to put the ball right here.

You see where my swing is?

Right there, right there. You're jamming me up.

It's not about getting to ten.

It's about enjoying each other.

Oh, no, you're right, it's fun getting to eight.

Then once to nine, but never ten.

Come on, no phone calls. Serve it!

I got it!

Deputy Director Bullock.

Smith, I happened to find

something interesting when I zoomed in

on the "suck it" photo you sent us.

Why would you zoom in?

Oh, no reason.

The man in the background of this photo

is Goran the Mutilator--

a war criminal who's been in hiding for years.

But he's the outdoor activities director.

He's a bloody monster.

I need you to kill him.

Sir, I'm on vacation.

And I promised my wife I wouldn't work.

Smith, are you crazy?

I'm giving you the opportunity to bring down a war criminal.

Plus, you get 400 CIA bucks.

Four-hundred?!

Well?

You can count on me.

Okay, let's do this.

98...

99... 100!

Yay! Woo-hoo! All right! Yeah! We did it!

That guy.

Today, we're going to learn the ancient art

of making hip-hop necklaces.

Look how great this is.

No kids, no work.

Just you and me.

Uh, I'm gonna go make sure the people who live

just outside the resort are super poor.

Now, a lot of brothers like to represent

the area code from whence they hail.

Atlanta's 404 is quite popular.

It's too far; I'll never make it.

I have a plan.

We mount a wild steed of our choosing

and it shall whisk us away across this valley.

Okay, sounds like a really bad idea, but that accent.

Yeah, let's do it!

It's working!

Off we go!

My bones!

Stay away from that bad, bad man, you sweet, sweet dolphins.

Oh, my.

Oh, no.

Oh, the baby.

Stan?

While you were out looking for poor people,

you missed the entire class!

Well, since we're here, let's just do the dolphin experience.

Sorry, it's closed.

Here's to a sexless marriage.

I guess I'll stop shaving.

Let the forest reclaim the land.

I'm sorry, we didn't mean to overhear,

but we used to be like you.

But then we turned it around.

How?

We swap.

Here's our number.

Think about it.

Oh, definitely, we will.

Sounds good, right, babe?

What a bunch of freaks!

Freaks!

We don't have to have sex with other people.