Basic Psych

Trick or treat.

Whoa!

An army of monsters.

I'm not a monster.

I'm a cowboy.

Well, here you go, cowboy.

And here's some for our pumpkin.

Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween.

Thank you.

Who are you?

Are you a patient?

Oh, God, I know who you are.

I did everything you told me to do.

I destroyed my records. I…

Trick or treat.

Those are the neighbors' kids.

Dr. Mallo, trick or treat.

Trick or treat.

Trick or treat.

Whoa, everybody's a monster tonight.

Thank you.

You OK, Gene?

Hi, Cindy.

Uh, too many birthdays.

I'm gonna call it a night.

I didn't tell anyone, Dan.

Your paranoia is getting worse.

What you did in the park, the…

That wasn't your fault. It was an accident.

You can still…

You're right.

It's not my fault, Dr. Mallo.

It's yours.

Can I have daddy's famous blueberry pancakes?

Please.

I don't know.

I think it's gonna have to be cereal, toast, or bagels.

Let's go.

Bagel on number four, like Mom does.

No brown spots.

Copy.

Come on.

Everybody in. Here.

BB, come on.

BB.

If I wanted to make a new friend at school,

what should I do so that I don't look stupid?

Oh, looking stupid's underrated.

Just tell me.

Um, well, what do you think Mom would do?

Hmm.

No, no, no.

She's working.

Just imagine.

Ask a question.

And if they answer with a lot of sentences, they want to be your friend?

That's a really smart answer.

Are you sure you're my kid?

Yes.

Do you have any kind of documentation to prove that?

No.

I just have to take your word for it?

- Yeah. - OK, you're sure.

Dad, you tricked me.

It's kind of my job.

You do that to your patients?

One job.

I get it.

She agrees.

Mr. Riviello, Dr. Prince.

Come on in.

So, Mr. Riviello, why don't you tell me about yourself?

Just Dan.

Dan's good.

So why are you here?

- How does therapy work, anyway? - You've never done this before?

- No. We talk.

And then we problem solve.

You can't just tell me what to do.

I wish it was that simple.

Have you had any recent upheavals in your life, any weight changes?

No. DR. PRINCE: Suicidal ideation?

Have you had any destructive thoughts?

Fatigue?

How are your personal relationships?

So anyway, that's me.

I'm the principal at Elwood Elementary in O'Hara Township.

And six months ago, my wife kicked me out.

She said I wasn't there for her.

I don't know what that means.

But now I can't sleep.

Buddy of mine gave me some Loony…

Lunar… you know what I mean.

I just wanted to know if maybe you could give me something stronger.

We can discuss medication in a bit.

Are you gonna write down every goddamn thing I say?

If it bothers you, I don't have to take notes.

Yeah, I… really don't want any notes ever.

Could you shred that?

Now, please.

Doc, I'm sorry.

I don't mean to be a jerk.

It's just, uh, I mean, privacy for me right now is really important.

You are safe here, Dan.

I'm not paranoid.

Do you think you're paranoid?

I think you're looking at me thinking, this guy's fucking paranoid, but…

But why, Dan?

Uh, hey, um, when I called in here, um, there was a girl, secretary.

- Where is she now? - She's part time.

Yeah, I don't want her knowing anything, and I mean anything, about me.

So if I make every appointment at 4:00 PM… - You will never see her.

And you take cash?

We can help you with the insurance paperwork.

I just don't want anybody on the school board or a parent to know about this.

OK, Dan.

Well, I think that was a good start.

At night, in bed, I sweat so much that…

That I wake up in a puddle.

Well, why don't we save that for next session?

It's the same dream every night.

I'm running in the woods.

It's dark.

And there are these dogs.

These goddamn dogs that are barking like fucking crazy.

And I've got this thing in my hand.

And I don't know what it is, but it's dangerous.

And my hands are like fucking claws.

Dan, that's a good place to start next week.

Yeah.

OK, see you Thursday.

Thursday?

Yeah, when I had your girl on the line, I just made three appointments in a row.

Um, I need to explain something to you, Dan.

These first two sessions are used to determine whether I can help you.

Wait, so you could just dump me after this?

I mean, all this talk will be for nothing?

Well, it wouldn't make much sense to continue if I can't help you.

Yeah, I get it.

See you Thursday.

So, Dad, it says here, whoever writes the best interview gets in a newspaper.

Dad.

I think your dad's the best person to interview.

Maybe you could mention he still wets the bed.

I think Reagan's too smart to believe that.

All right, what is your first question?

What's the bravest thing you ever did?

Oh, I think I can answer that.

When you were first born, we went to Cape Cod.

And there was this woman swimming in the water.

She was pregnant.

And she was really struggling.

And your dad saved her from drowning.

Oh, my god, you're like a real life hero.

Your mom's the real hero putting up with me all these years.

Hmm, that's a fact.

I'm gonna write five questions before dinner.

And, Dad, his name's Justin.

He said a lot of sentences, so send me the bill.

To successful parenting.

L'chaim.

L'chaim.

You're still at work.

I… this new patient made me shred my notes in front of him.

He made you shred your notes?

No, no, no, no.

No, you tell him you don't think you can help him.

He gets one more session.

If I don't get a better vibe, that'll be it.

I know. If it was you, he'd be gone already.

Absolutely.

You're too nice.

I am too nice.

- Where the hell were you last week? - I called Carly.

I told her that I…

I know, another emergency.

Don't you tell her.

Tell me.

Don't make her schedule.

OK.

What the fuck are you wearing?

- Who are you? - Does she have any homework?

Three pages of math.

And don't fill her head with scary bullshit.

You aren't there at 2:00 in the morning when she can't sleep.