The Brokenwood Mysteries

Oi!

Oi, excuse me.

- Tony, isn't it? - Tony Canetti.

You got it. Canetti's the name. Cars are my game.

- You moved away from... - Guns? Nah, never.

Still love a good firearm, but cars are my true love.

And let's face it, guns and cars,

I mean, what else makes a man?

So, you finally ready for an upgrade, eh?

Uh, I'm making some big changes.

I've been having a few issues lately.

Expensive? Yeah, I know.

That's the good thing with buying new.

Nothing ever goes wrong.

And what are you thinking? One for you and for the missus?

Uh, there is no missus.

That's because of the car.

But once we get you behind the wheel of a sexy new sedan

or a sporty little number, you'll have a guaranteed

harem of women hanging off every fender.

So many, in fact, you might have to scale up to a Ranger.

More room to keep them in the back.

All wearing the bikinis, of course.

And that is what a new car from Canetti's will get you.

That's your sales pitch, is it?

New car and semi-naked woman.

- Too much? - Mm.

- Have a great day, Tony. - Wait.

Mike, we haven't talked finance.

Not even a-a test-drive? Free roadside assistance?

Not that you need it.

- Good luck, Tony. - Look...

Come on! Mike!

I haven't had a sale in six months!

Hello?

Are you okay in there?

You're parked in a disabled spot,

but you have no sticker.

And you have no idea who he is?

No.

At least I've never seen him in the congregation.

I wouldn't want to draw any conclusions,

but you should know, we hire out this hall to various groups,

including hot women's yoga.

But, um, last night, it was a ukulele group.

Good to know.

Thank you, Reverend.

If we need anything else, we'll come back to you.

Odd choice of murder weapon.

Indeed.

You know, this is usually where Mike talks to the deceased.

Yeah, I know.

- Pass? - Yeah.

- That's a Mike thing. - Oh.

Gina, good morning. Unidentified white male.

Rosco Flynn.

Sorry?

That's Rosco's car.

Oh, okay.

Um, if it is him, he's our victim.

- Do you know him? - I may have been the last person

to see him alive after rehearsal.

- Good night, Rosco. - Night, Gina.

Hey, loved your suggestion about doing that original song.

Next week, we'll make it happen.

I'm so happy.

We're both in the ukulele orchestra.

You're writing songs now?

Just one. But I think it's quite good.

Well, a woman of many talents.

Yes, so many.

Uh, Gina, given you knew the victim,

you okay to do what you came to do?

Of course.

There will be no problem with me performing my duties.

Right. Um, well, we will need your statement

after you...

What?

Do what you do, you know, at the mortuary.

I'm having real trouble putting the words

"Gina" and "ukulele" together.

Yes, I said ukulele.

That is not your standard murder weapon.

No, it is not.

Or anything that I would ever associate with Gina.

Yet, she is our star witness.

Or suspect or something.

What do you want to do about that?

Have you done a welfare check with her?

Yeah, she said she's fine to continue.

Well, then I wouldn't argue.

How's the big house move going?

I'll get back to you.

Uh, lads...

Mike is still on leave?

Moving day.

A fresh new start for him.

So, you want to tell us about last night?

When I arrived,

Selena Dean, our teacher,

and her niece, Julie Jones, were there first, as usual.

Gina, that song you suggested about lions and leopards...

I love it.

It's not finished yet.

Oh, no, I know. But it will be.

- And you will absolutely shine. - Oh!

And, of course, Annabella was already there, as always.

Rosco's ex-wife, sort of... Oh, definitely his ex-wife,

now that he is dead.

Amicable.

Who knows, with divorce, what's go on under the surface?

Why am I in this room?

You're giving a statement.

I prefer somewhere more comfortable.

Uh...

- Uh, Gina, I don't think... - Since Mike is not here,

I'm sure he would like me to keep his seat warm for him.

Um...

Okay.

Ahh! Better.

So, where were we?

Uh, people arriving for last night's practice.

Next was Frodo.

Your oat-milk latte, my lady.

Frodo, you are such a darling, as usual.

- Thank you very much. - Of course.

He's enthusiastic, but lacks discipline.

Becky, those cat videos you sent me are so funny.

The one with the...

Becky and Iosefa were next.

- Oh, gosh! - Oh, we're getting the laugh,

don't you?

Hello, my friend.

How you doing?

- You know. - Yeah.

Iosefa was depressed, but, then,

he's always depressed.

- Good to see you. - Okay.

Let's not wait any longer. We'll warm things up

with a little stroll down "Dominion Road."

One, two, three, four.

And then Rosco arrived,

in the way that Rosco always arrives.

He swept into a room like he owned it and everyone in it.

I know. Late as usual.

Traffic was horrendous!

It's 7:00 p.m. on a Monday in Brokenwood.

Hey, Trophy.

Sorry. Trophy...

As in "Trophy Wife."

- Charming. - Behind his back,

she's calling him her "participation certificate."

Okay.

They had a complex relationship.

A lot of hate on the surface,

but definitely a lot still going on underneath.

Like, when he joined the orchestra,

he just walked in, sat down next to her,

and started playing.

Selena, our teacher, hated Rosco from day one.

And if Annabella had had a word in her ear,

Selena would have kicked him out in a heartbeat.

But she never said a word.

But if Selena hated Rosco,

why didn't she just kick him out herself?

Because there was a reason to keep him in.

So, "Dominion Road," was it?

It's hard to tell, because all I could hear was

Iosefa playing some random chords.

Oh, hilarious, Rosco. Real humdinger.

Yes, "Dominion Road."

Nice.

One, two, three, four.

Say whatever you want about Rosco Flynn.

His playing was excellent.

And then Laslo arrived.

Bravo!

Another Kiwi classic slaughtered at your altar.

Go away, Laslo!

You know you're not welcome here.

Laslo Karlsson.

He used to be part of the BUO

until he and Selena fell out.

Sorry. The BUO?

The Brokenwood Ukulele Orchestra.

Now he is the leader of Brokenwood's

other ukulele group.

Brokenwood has two ukulele groups?

Nukulele Armageddon.

How have I never seen either of them advertised anywhere?

Because neither of them ever played live... yet.

It is a race to be ready first.

Very much like getting a man into space.

Russia took that one.

But the U.S. landed on the moon.

But did they...

really?

The BUO was well in the lead,

mainly because Nukulele Armageddon

was still a group of one.