Dog Man

(grand orchestral fanfare playing)

Come in, Officer Knight and Greg the Dog.

Do you copy?

Oh, hey, Chief.

What? No, no, no, no. No "Oh, hey."

Radio talk. It's "Roger."

Roger? I-I thought this was the chief.

This is the chief.

Did you find Petey the Cat?

Not right now, Chief.

We're trying to find Petey the Cat.

-Whoa! -You crazy kid!

-(worker yelps) -Greg! Come on, little buddy.

-(barks) -(grunts)

-(horn blasting) -(screams)

Whew.

-(gasps) -(horn blaring) -(tires squealing)

Whew.

Thanks, Greg, little buddy.

Where are you, Petey, the World's Most Evilest Cat?

Suckers.

It's him! Greg the Dog, hit the siren.

Greg, if something happens to me,

take care of my girlfriend Alice, will you?

-Mm-hmm. -(engine revving)

-(exhales sharply) -(Greg chattering)

You know I got you, buddy.

-Fam. -(siren chirps)

-(engine roaring) -(tires squeal)

-(screaming) -(Greg howling)

Yes!

Officer Knight, it's the chief.

Can you hear me? Answer me!

Typical. Typical!

Officer Knight here.

We're on the roof of the Abandoned Expendable Warehouse.

Whoa! Over and out.

So long, suckers.

Won't have to worry about you anymore.

-(Petey laughs) -(beeping)

What's he talking abou...

-It's a bomb! -(gasps)

See? Officer Knight is a tough cop

with kung fu skills, but he's got no brains.

And Greg the Dog is smart, but his body is his weakness.

These guys are nothing!

Yeah, but what if they combine their skills?

Well, I'll just make sure that never happens.

These two are not gonna ruin my evil plans

to take over the world!

-Um... -What?!

Can I have tomorrow off?

-It's my mother's birth... -You're fired!

There's a bomb up here.

Clear everyone out of the warehouse.

-It's abandoned. -Then they have to leave.

-There's no one here! -I don't care.

-Get 'em out. -(grunts in frustration)

Worst cop ever.

Uh, let's see. Green means go.

Red means not ripe.

Unless it's an apple. A red apple's ripe.

I guess... I guess red's usually ripe,

um, unless it's a lemon.

A-Are there any red lemons?

Grr...

-Green? Green. Got it. -(Greg gasps, whimpers)

-Wait, aren't dogs color-blind? -(bomb beeping)

This is Sarah Hatoff standing outside

the Major Hospital in Town

in the rain without an umbrella.

That's how serious this is.

What will be the fate of Officer Knight

and Greg the Dog?

I'm sorry to say, Mr. Cop,

that your head is just no good anymore.

Bummer!

And your body is no good, either, cop doggy.

Oh! I've got an idea.

Oh, tell me, Nurse, what's your idea?

What if we sew the dog's head onto the man's body?

Great idea and stuff.

This is Sarah Hatoff reporting live from

the Major Hospital in Town.

This just in: It stopped raining.

And doctors and nurses have successfully saved

Officer Knight and Greg the Dog by creating...

-...Dog Man! -(crowd cheering)

This is Sarah Hatoff-- again--

reporting on the incredible saga of Dog Man,

who has shown himself to be nothing less than a "supa cop."

With me now, the chief of police.

Chief, how has it been having

a supa cop like Dog Man on the force?

-Hmm. Well... -I mean, isn't he great?

-Uh, yes and... (growls) -He's done so much

for the citizens of this town, don't you think?

-He's made friends. -Aw.

-He's solved crimes. -(growling) -(whimpering)

-Barked at a mailman. -(barking)

-Plays piano for the old folks. -(grunts)

And even pitched a no-hitter at the charity softball game

for kids who got kicked out of class and drew comics instead.

And he did all that in one day.

He's just Dog Man, supa cop.

"Dog Man, supa cop"?

Why is Dog Man on the front page, Sarah, huh?

Why do you never report any of

the good stuff that I'm doing, huh, Sarah?

If I'm gonna get on a real network, Chief,

I got to report the big stories.

And it's kind of a big story.

Well, guess what, I'm a big story, Sarah.

Wh-What about that time

I-I did the thing th-that was big

and everybody was talking about it?

You know what I'm talking about.

I'd have to look that up.

Yeah, you got to look it up.

Oh, oh, Flippy. What about Flippy?

Oh, what about that time I caught Flippy?

That story's literally a dead fish.

A psychokinetic, evil fish.

-That's dead. -Sarah, please, look.

Just-just give me one little story.

For-for my mother.

Okay. She's dead, too.

She has very good hearing.

You drive me crazy, Sarah Hatoff.

And it's not because I might be secretly in love with you.

-What? -What? I said, "Get out."

-Ugh. Come on, Zuzu. -(barks)

-And no more of this. -(scoffs)

Milly! Where is Dog Man anyway?

-I don't know. -Well, find him.

-(door creaks, bangs shut) -(yelps)

Get back here, you.

-Oh, yeah. -(panting)

-(barks) -Yeah, good boy.

That's a good boy. That's a good boy.

-(screams) -(yelps)

Oh, my gosh. You startled me.

Oh, I'm sorry, but the open house

isn't until this afternoon.

I got to get this place a little cleaned up.

The owner left so fast with her new boyfriend.

Oh, and her new dog.

-(gasps) -So cute.

-I love love stories. (laughs) -(whines)

Her old boyfriend...

: had a little accident.

Kaboom! She's all like,

"I'm not waiting around for some half man, half dog."

Which, you know, I get.

I mean, can you imagine?

Um, uh, well, uh, you-you know.

Hey, are you looking for a house?

Here's a bunch of my listings.

Okay, now, get along, little doggy... man.

-Dog Man, whatever you are. -(gasps)

Oh. Oh, you want the ball?