The Mysteries of Laura

(CHANTING) Cuba! Cuba!

Can someone please get that maintenance guy off the northwest rooftop?

On it.

He's armed! Northwest rooftop.

Jake, take cover!

- (EXPLOSION) - No!

No! Why would you put peanut butter in your hair?

To get the gum out.

We saw it on YouTube.

Hey, y'all best get it in gear or we're gonna be late.

Ooh, by we, I mean you, too.

Okay.

Problem solved.

Teeth brushed?

Go. Go! Go, go.

Oh, my gosh.

So, how you handling everything?

Could you be 25% less vague?

You know, the whole Jake's new girlfriend thing?

Jen? No. No, she's not his girlfriend.

They just... They just went out on one date. Just... Just one.

Well, if you're not counting the time that her and her son

went with Jake and the boys to the movies.

- And the park. - Yeah, you're right.

Um, I didn't include those

because I didn't know about them. But now I do and, uh...

- I'm fine. - Well, I'm not.

I thought you two would have gotten together now that you...

Wait a minute. He still doesn't know that you ended things with Tony, does he?

- No, and that's fine too. - (CELL PHONE RINGING)

Could you be about 25% more honest?

Diamond! - Whoa!

Hey! Good morning to you too,

Captain Santiani. What can I...

You've got dignitary protection duty.

Are you kidding?

Diamond. Am I ever kidding about anything, ever?

But dignitary protection is nothing more than babysitting, froggy.

And yet you're the one being the baby.

Okay, look. This guy that I'm supposed to watch.

- Carlos Hernandez. - Him. Right.

If he is the heir apparent to the Cuban presidency,

shouldn't Billy handle this?

I'd love to protect the guy.

I mean, Hernandez is the most powerful person in Cuba

actively pushing for democracy.

And he's making headway, too.

Well, then what's the problem?

One PP said no, because my dad was a Cuban dissident.

And you might be right about the headway.

Hernandez is here to announce some new open trade policies at the UN.

It doesn't matter what he announces.

Plenty of Cubanos are gonna link him to the Castros,

and they're not exactly gonna lay out the welcome mat.

Which is why the brass

has asked for their best detective to protect him.

Well, you know.

Oh, sorry, no. They asked for Jake.

You just happen to be his partner.

Oh, come on!

Jake isn't even here!

He's not?

Oh... Jen, hi.

Hey! Uh, sorry for interrupting.

No. No, no. Um, he's not here. Not yet.

But he'll be back soon.

Um, Detective Billy Soto.

Hey. Jen Lambert. Officially with the DA's office.

Although today, I'm here on behalf of animal control.

Oh.

Harry left it in the back of my car after tae kwon do.

Harrison did?

Thanks. Yeah, he's grown very attached to this lunchbox.

Seriously. If it had been Nicholas, I wouldn't have made the drive over,

but Harry and the tigers.

I know! Obsessed! Well, that's my Harry.

Well, thank you.

You bet. Um...

- Tell Jake I said hey. - Mmm-hmm.

She is somewhere on a scale of one to meh.

I mean, am I right? What does Jake see in her?

Me. Minus the bitter.

The bitter makes you you.

I delight in your bitter.

I delight in you.

Diamond. Saddle up.

Your partner's gonna meet you at the Cuban Chancellery.

- (SIGHS) - Okay.

You know, today is the last day to sign the boys up for the read-a-thon.

Done.

How is that even on your radar?

Oh! Jen. Of course.

- She is on the ball with stuff like that. Gracias.

Apparently, so am I.

- Of course. - Mmm-hmm.

You know Jen calls Harrison "Harry"?

Yeah. He loves it.

Oh. Good.

That's good.

Detectives.

I'm Yasiel Leon, aide-de-camp to Mr. Hernandez.

- (BANGING ON DOOR) - (MAN SHOUTING)

Please, this way.

Mr. Hernandez is going to usher in a new era for Cuba.

Democracy. Wi-Fi. Starbucks.

And much more.

But some people don't like change.

And others don't think it's happening fast enough.

Ah! Detectives, uh, Broderick and Diamond.

Am I pronouncing that correctly?

Perfectly. And you're Carlos Hernandez? How'd I do?

Very good. Perfectly.

Um, I want you to meet my wife, Valeria.

- So nice to meet you. - Hi, Jake.

Excuse me. I wasn't finished.

And my minister of charm, Ernesto Garcia.

Chief of security.

If you'd like to join us, we are going over the security detail.

And I need to get ready, so please excuse me.

Uh, I was just trying to convince Garcia that we can do this just as easily

over a slice of authentic New York pizza.

Well, it's kind of mandatory when you visit New York.

There is an Original Ray's right around the corner.

And there's an original Original Ray's just past that.

I'm afraid that's not on the schedule.

We stick to the schedule.

We completely understand.

We would love to see the schedule so that we can plan accordingly.

It stays inside the diplomatic pouch.

No one outside our team has access to it.

And the NYPD will be informed on a need-to-know basis.

Not to be over-dramatic.

Why are we all standing around when we have an event to get to?

I'm trying to keep Carlos alive.

And I'm trying to keep him popular.

Is that the only suit you brought?

Excuse me, you are?

Liz Walters.

My media consultant. Apparently with free press you need these things.

Will you be joining us at the dinner and photography exhibit?

We will be. Thank you.

And will you be changing?

I wasn't planning on it.

Fortunately, I'm very good at my job. This way.

Yay!

I love it. I really love it.

I'll be sure to tell my wife.

She makes sure that our government supports the arts. All forms.

- That's impressive. - She is.

- Champagne? - No, thank you.

On duty.

Me, too.

Minister?

Canadian foreign minister at your four o'clock.

She's a much better politician than I am.

Excuse me.

You take notes on everything?

You never know what can go from a suspicion to a real threat.

For someone who insists that he's not in any danger,

Carlos seems a little jittery.

He isn't letting know how nervous he really is.

His speech at the UN is the first step into connecting Cuba to the rest of the world.

Besides, he hates these stuffy dinners. He'd much rather have pizza.

I'm sorry.

I just... I just wanted to take a selfie with Mr. Hernandez.

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

Do you mind?

Say queso!

Queso.

- Wow. Thank you, senor. - Of course.

Sorry about my overzealous guard.

15 years in the Cuban special forces.

Coming here, I'm afraid, is turning him a bit paranoid.

Listen, I think you should take the night off.

No.

I'm worried about this trip. You're in danger.

You take a walk and get some fresh air.

Okay? I'm not asking you.

I'll walk you out.

If anything occurs, you'll contact me?

Of course.

Type in your number.

This is more than a job to me.

If something happens to Carlos...

Nothing will. We've got this.

- Hola? - Hola.

Now you have mine.

I promise.

If anything happens, I will call you.

Yasiel, buenas noches.

Senor.

There you are. We need to go over your speech.

- Now? - Liz, can't we do it in the morning?

They've had a long evening.

You do your job, I'll do mine.

- Snap. Let's get out of here.

I've got a very hot bath

- and an episode of Hoarders -(CELL PHONE RINGING)

with my name on it.

- Santiani. - Push "Ignore".