The House with a Clock in Its Walls

Dear Lewis, enclosed please find

one bus ticket and two silver dollars

for your trip to Michigan.

I'm really sorry about the loss of your parents.

Your mom was my sister, so, that makes you family.

And I'll do my best to make you feel right at home.

As Einstein said, " Life is like a bicycle.

" To stay balanced, you gotta keep moving forward. "

And so will we.

I look forward to meeting ya.

Your uncle, Jonathan.

PS, sorry for the stain on the letter, that's chocolate.

Mom, Dad, are you there?

Am I gonna be okay?

"Cannot say."

Gonna buy Charlie a bike for his birthday.

- He's gonna love it! - Emma Jean! Bus is here!

Last stop, New Zebedee.

Are you coming?

Oh, golly.

I'm a little nervous.

You want me to get that for you? If you don't mind.

No problem, ma'am.

- Thank you so much. - There you go.

Have a great night.

Oh, come on. Don't kill yourself before I've had a chance to meet ya.

Lewis, I'm your uncle, Jonathan.

Are you wearing a robe?

It's a kimono.

Oh.

Here, let me help you with that.

Oh! Good Lord, what do you got in this thing? Encyclopedias?

Dictionaries.

Oh, you're serious.

I like new words. I think they're very pulchritudinous.

Well, welcome to New Zebedee.

Or should I say "salutations"? You can look that one up.

I know what "salutations" means.

Well, smart kid.

Uh, do you think that we're gonna be home soon?

Because the Captain Midnight show's almost on.

Uh... You don't have to worry about that, I don't have a TV.

But, I do have a big poker game tonight, if you wanna join. Do you play?

Uh, no, I'm 10.

Duly noted.

Huh. Here we are. Excuse me.

The Muggin Samoon.

Temperamental door handle. Hop in.

Here you go. Watch your tootsies.

All right, here we are.

You can get out here.

Here we go.

Home sweet home.

Do you like Halloween? Hmm?

Oh, no. I keep those up year round.

Mr. Barnavelt!

Come, darling. Yes, good puppy.

Mr. Barnavelt!

Ah, Mrs. Hanchett. Marmalade.

Is that a robe?

It's a kimono.

You've been playing your saxophone again.

Madame, not everyone can appreciate the intricacies

of a free-form jazz odyssey.

I don't care what you play.

You're playing at 3:00 in the morning.

So, I'm begging you! Who's this?

Oh, this is Lewis, my nephew. He'll be living with me.

You're responsible for keeping a human child alive?

That's right.

Good evening. This way, Lewis.

I'll try to keep it down around 3:00 a.m.

But, uh, them's my best jamming hours.

And, here we are.

Wow, you've...

That's a lot of clocks.

Well, what constitutes a lot is really a matter of personal taste.

For me, it's a perfect amount of clocks.

Oh, sorry. There's a deranged cuckoo in there.

Your ratchet wheel's shot, and the click spring's not far behind.

Hello. You're Lewis, I presume? How was your trip?

This old hag is my next-door neighbor, Mrs. Florence Zimmerman.

I'm relieved to see you didn't inherit your uncle's freakishly oversized head.

Huh. Says the woman who literally looks like a Q-tip.

Oh, look. The giant head is angry.

My God, did that withered purple skeleton just speak?

It's nice to meet you.

Lewis, are you hungry? Yes, please.

Florence, I'm gonna show Lewis to his room.

For once in your life, could you make yourself useful

and whip up a batch of those chocolate chip cookies?

And how would you like them, sir?

Stuffed down your throat, one by one?

Or crumbled up and shoved into your pants?

Ignore her, Lewis.

She thinks she's smarter than me because she's got more college degrees.

No, I think I'm smarter than you because I'm smarter than you.

Shh!

- But, Uncle Jonathan? - Mmm.

Don't I have to have dinner before I'm allowed to have cookies?

Well, why not just eat cookies for dinner? They're far more delicious.

I know. It's just, we had these house rules.

Well, not in this house.

There's no bedtime, bath time or meal time.

You can eat cookies till you throw up for all I care.

You'll see. Things are quite different here.

All mine?

All yours.

Although, why this is yours I have no idea.

You know it's about the complete opposite of real magic.

Um...

It's the last thing my parents gave to me before the...

The car crash.

I'm sorry.

Uh, here, yeah, take that back.

Um, I have a tissue around here somewhere.

Ah.

Here you go. No, hold on. Sorry.

I didn't mean to, to...

I didn't realize the ball was of emotional significance.

Almost there.

Feel free to grab any color tissue, they're all the same.

Hey, gorilla groin, are we playing poker, or am I playing solitaire?

Hold your horses, you scarecrow!

Right?

Calling that a poker face is an insult to faces.

Sore loser, frumpy.

Well, beat that.

He wins. Again.

You're hustling me. You've played before.

I haven't. I swear.

Beginner's luck, I guess?

Well, I'm gonna drown my sorrows in some hot cocoa. You want some?

Yes, please. Florence?

Delighted. Get your own.

Choke and die.

So, how long have you lived next door to Uncle Jonathan?

Oh, we've been friends forever. Ever since I came here.

Ran here, actually.

From Paris. After the war.

And, no. To answer that look you're giving me,

your uncle and I aren't anything kissy faced.

Gross! Ugh!

The word's "platonic."

That's right.

Look, your uncle drives me nuts. And he doesn't always smell so terrific,

but he's gotten me out of more tough scrapes than I care to mention.

You know, I've found that all one really needs in this world

is one good friend.

Oh, but I'm sure you've got lots.

Yeah. Tons.

All my friends are really great.

Hmm.

Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad.

I really miss you guys. Love you.

Uh, Uncle Jonathan?

You've got to go into the wall.

What do you mean I have to...

Will you... I am going in the wall!

You did not go into the wall yesterday. Yes, I did.

I saw you. You did not go... You...

Hello?

Lewis! Didn't see you there.

Big day. First day of school. How'd you sleep?

I...

Fine. How did you sleep?

Peachy. Like a baby. Like a big peachy baby.

Okay, off you go. Knock 'em dead.

I played it perfect, he suspects nothing.

Forty-third, New Zebedee Blue Ribbon Bake-Off...

Hold the door!

Clark, let's make a decision.

Herman.

Good hustle, Herman.

Thanks, Coach.

Woody.

We're even teams now.

Let's play ball.

Maybe next time, ankle-biter.

Coach.

Come on, just pick him. No, just pick him.

No.

Come on.

Fine. All right. You're with us. You can play, right?

Sure.

I'm open! I'm...

Goggles, get up! Come on, guys! Down the court! Down the court!

- You all right? - Bring it on!

You good?

All right, open your space up. Come on, guys, open the space!

Now, again. Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Pass the ball!

Goggles, what's going on?

Come on, let's go. Defense! Look alive. Look alive, guys.

Goggles, make the shot! Come on!

- Make the shot! - Goggles!

Not at me! The basket!

You gotta pass the ball, Goggles!

Goggles, Goggles, I'm open!

I'm sorry!