The Loneliest Planet

[HEAVY RHYTHMIC THUDDING...,

HEAVY BREATHING...]

Man: SORRY, SORRY, SORRY.

Woman: HURRY, HURRY, HURRY.

Woman, shivering: O.K....

OH!

AH!

Woman: [SPEAKS FOREIGN

LANGUAGE...]

AH, O.K.

O.K.

COWBOY.

...AH-NUM-NUM-NUM!

A NUM-NUM-NUM!

HELLO.... HELLO...

GOOD MORNING.

I HAVE TO PAY MY TAXES.

Woman: [SPEAKING

FOREIGN LANGUAGE...]

MADLOBA.

Woman: [SPEAKING

FOREIGN LANGUAGE...]

MADLOBA, MADLOBA.

MADLOBA. >> DIDI MADLOBA.

AND, UH...

DIDI MADLOBA.

MADLOBA.

DID YOU SHIT?

LITTLE GATITO SHITS.

TAKE A PICTURE!

TAKE A PICTURE!

CAN YOU, CAN YOU REACH...

CAN YOU REACH HERE?

BUT CAN YOU DO IT

LIKE THAT-- YEAH.

YEAH.

Man, drunkenly: NUMBER ONE!

MY FRIEND!

Man: [SPEAKS IN FOREIGN

LANGUAGE]

...AND YOUR WIFE?

FIANCEE.

WILL BE WIFE.

SHE CAN CARRY?

SHE CAN CARRY, YES.

YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

NO, I'M STRONG.

Drunk: NUMBER ONE, MY FRIEND!

MY FRIEND...

NUMBER ONE.

YEAH.

WITHOUT HORSE,

WITHOUT DONKEY, 100 LARI A DAY.

IN SVANETI, IT WAS 60 A DAY.

IN SVANETI, YEAH,

BUT HERE'S KHEVI.

YEAH, I KNOW.

LOCAL PRICE.

Drunk: MY FRIEND, NUMBER ONE!

WHY DON'T WE...?

CAN WE MAKE IT A

LITTLE BIT CHEAPER?

Nica: DO YOU WANT THIS?

Alex: YEP.

Nica:

SHH.

[*..., WOMAN SINGING

IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE...]

MADLOBA! >> MADLOBA.

Man: DENVER NUGGETS!

Man: [SPEAKS FOREIGN

LANGUAGE]

[MUSIC CHANGES, MAN SINGING

IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE...]

Nica: DIDI MADLOBA!

Alex: YOU SAID "THANK YOU"

TO HIM.

Guide: MADLOVA, THIS MEANS--

THAT'S "THANK YOU".

Nica: [LAUGHS, REPEATS

DIFFERENT FOREIGN PHRASE]

Guide: BE CAREFUL.

THIS IS NOT PET DOG.

HE CAN BITE.

Alex: YEAH?

Guide: YEAH, YEAH, REALLY.

AND HE HAS... FLEAS.

DIRTY DOG.

Nica: LOOK AT THAT GOAT.

IT HAS THREE HORNS.

THE KING SHEEP.

Guide: MUTANT.

Nica, laughs: MUTANT.

Guide: YOU ALWAYS HAVE

A GOAT WITH SHEEP.

GOAT IS VERY SMART AND SHEEP

IS STUPID.

AND SHEEP FOLLOW GOAT.

IF GOAT FALL OFF ROCK,

SHEEP FALL TOO.

Nica: SO WE ARE SHEEP?

STAMPEDE!

Alex: ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

Guide: HEY, HEY!

WAIT ME! HO!

Nica: WHAT?

WAIT ME.

GIVE ME RUCKSACK.

NO, NO, NO, IT'S O.K.

IT'S O.K., DATO.

IT'S O.K.

I'M FINE.

OH!

Dato: BE CAREFUL!

NO, NO, I'M FINE.

I DON'T NEED HELP, IT'S O.K.

I'M FINE.

THANK YOU.

OOPS!

YOU O.K.?

YEAH, I'M FINE... FINE.

WHAT IS IT?

VERY NICE STONE.

I DON'T KNOW ENGLISH NAME.

GEORGIAN NAME IS SLALIKVA.

SLALIKVA?

SLALIKVA.

AND IT HELP MANY PROBLEMS.

LIVER PROBLEMS,

STOMACH PROBLEMS...

KIDNEYS PROBLEMS.

AND IN ASIAN COUNTRY,

THIS IS VERY EXPENSIVE.

$800.

WOW.

AND IT MAKE YOUR SKIN...

VERY GOOD, VERY BEAUTIFUL.

LIKE BABY'S ASS.

YOU CAN TAKE.

THANK YOU.

I JUST HAVE TO RUB IT ALL OVER

MY BODY EVERY DAY AND I'LL BE

PERFECTLY HEALTHY.

AND BEAUTIFUL.

AFTER SHOWER.

HEY, YOU THINK HE JUST

MADE THAT UP?

LET'S SEE.

LICK IT.

LET'S SEE IT.

HOLD IT FOR A SECOND?

COME BACK WITH MY ROCK.

GIVE ME THE ROCK.

IT'S AMAZING.

HEY, COME.

ALEX...

THREE WEEKS AND YOU'LL

BECOME A BEAR.

I KNOW, I'M GONNA SHAVE IT

WHEN WE GET BACK.

HEY, GUYS.