7 Keys

There was an old woman who lived

in someone else's house, in secret, for a year...

in Japan, I think it was.

I read about it online.

This woman slept in a wardrobe, all curled up inside.

The owner noticed things moved or went missing...

mostly food from the kitchen...

TV remote, some toilet paper.

He thought he must have imagined it.

It took him a year to install cameras

and finally he found her.

There were all these comments on the story.

People freaking out, in case someone lived

in their house.

They all thought they were him.

All I could think was...

...what if no one ever found me?

If I was so small,

so lost that

no one really knew if I was there...

...or not.

Can I help you?

Uh, yeah. Table for two?

Mm-hmm.

Rob booked it?

Last name?

I'm not sure.

You can sit here for now.

Would you like a drink?

I would love one. A large white.

Sure.

You're not Rob, are you?

No, sorry.

No, it's just people use fake photos, so...

Afraid not.

No.

So, I've been stood up.

Um, me, too, I think.

I keep checking, but no messages.

Arseholes.

Hmm.

What's your name?

Daniel.

Daniel.

I'm Lena.

Am I boring you already?

No, no, sorry. Just, um...

I'm just worried something might have

happened to her.

That's what I kept telling myself.

"Don't worry, Lena. You've not been stood up.

He's been hit by a bus."

But the chances are, Daniel, we have both been stood up.

Seems unlikely, doesn't it?

Two people in the same place on the same night.

Not that unlikely.

It's a big city, full of arseholes

who only think about themselves.

Well, that's a bit depressing.

It's a lot depressing. Well, fuck 'em!

What do you want?

Well, you know, same as anyone.

Meet someone. Be happy.

I meant off the menu, but I'll see what I can do.

Thank God this isn't a date.

I really wanted spaghetti.

Why wouldn't you have spaghetti?

Apparently it looks too gross or too arousing.

Huh.

What do you think?

Um, I don't think you look gross.

Liar!

So, what do you do when you're not being stood up?

Stocks and shares. Online poker.

Online poker?

Yeah. Nothing really real.

Mm.

So you're a gambling man?

A speculator.

I tend not to get carried away.

But for one night only, you're throwing caution

to the wind?

So, come on, are you gonna show me

your arsehole?

Huh?

The girl! The one that broke your heart.

Oh.

Uh...

Mm.

Aw!

Sarah does not look like the type of girl

that would stand you up.

No, I know. That's why I picked her.

She looks shy.

Maybe she's too shy.

Maybe she is hiding at home, crying into her pillow,

masturbating furiously.

She seemed like a nice girl.

That's the easiest thing to seem like, online.

Do you wanna see my arsehole?

Yeah. He looks, uh...

Hot.

Yeah.

Do you think I aimed too high?

No, no.

I was gonna say shallow, but looks can be deceptive.

- No, he was shallow. - Oh.

But he was also kind of gentlemanly, too.

Told me his ex cheated on him, broke his heart.

But he didn't bitch about her.

He didn't bombard me with dick pics either, so...

I was gonna pick someone else on that basis,

but I gave Hot Rob the benefit of the doubt.

Gave him my prime time Friday night slot.

Oh, you do this a lot then?

You think I'd be wise to the fakers by now.

This was my first time.

Don't let it put you off.

There's plenty of nice girls out there in real life,

if you're willing to take the risk.

Not gonna lie, this is my best date

in a long time.

It's a shame we're incompatible, then.

We are?

Yeah.

Well, your profile says, "Looking for fun".

-Mine says-- -"Looking for love".

Right, so, you must think I'm shallow, too.

No, no, I...

I don't think you're shallow at all.

I think you're...

Go on. I can take it.

I think you're nice.

A little bit fucked up, maybe.

But nice.

Okay.

Well, excuse me while I go

and change my dating profile to that.

You walking to the tube?

I actually can walk home from here.

Wow.

A true gentleman with a place in Zone One.

It's really nothing special.

Uh, no, I'm sorry,

I don't.

Not on a first date, um...

Are you religious or something?

No, no. I just, um...

Shit. You're married.

Oh Christ, no. I just, um...

I like to get to know a person first.

I find people get less attractive

the more you get to know them.

Oh.

Reason why we should quit while we're ahead.

Wait.

Wait, you will call me, right?

'Cause this is clearly meant to be.

I mean, the same place, same night.

How desperate do I seem on a scale

of one to ten right now?

You're not desperate. You just know what you want.

I think you're nice, too.

Goodnight then.

Goodnight, Daniel.

- Lena? - What are you doing?

Fuck fate. What do you want?

Oh.

Why have you got so many?

They're just places I used to live.

How come you kept 'em all?

No reason.

Go on. Tell me.

Yeah?

Um...

I suppose I just felt weird throwing 'em out.

I should probably get round to it, though.

When I was a kid, me and my mates,

we'd wanna get out, but there'd be no place to go

so we'd pick locks, break into places.

-Huh? -Not to steal or nothing.

Just to have fun in other people's homes.

The thrill of it, you know?

No, not really.

You ever been back?

Back?

Landlords hardly ever change the locks.

- Why would I? - I live here.

Don't you watch daytime TV?

We're obsessed with other people's homes.

I'm not.

I don't believe you.

I don't even have a TV.

You don't have much, but you do have these.

There's gotta be a reason.

I, um...

Hmm?

I never really had a place when I was young,

so I don't have much, but what I do have,

I keep hold of.