Angie Tribeca

Gracias por venir a esta fiesta de quince años, todos ustedes.

Angelina Trèsbeca!

And now for the traditional Father-Daughter waltz.

I only wish your mother was here for your big day.

Would you knock it off?

Why are you in such a bad mood?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe because I've been tracking these diamonds

for a month and a half,

I haven't slept in a week,

and I've got stuff going on under my skirt

that you don't even want to know about.

Well, if you were $10 million in smuggled diamonds

at a quinceañera, where would you be?

If I freakin' knew that, do you think I would have spent

three freakin' hours getting into this freakin' dress?

And now for the traditional hitting of the piñata.

- The piñata! - The piñata!

Police business.

No diamonds.

Damn it!

They've got to be here somewhere.

And now for the traditional destroying of the cake.

And now for the traditional destroying of the gifts.

And the flipping of the tables.

And the punching of the guy.

Bad news, Tribeca.

Turns out the diamonds crossed the border two days ago.

This was a bum lead.

You said "esta." It's actually "estoy."

Ah, god!

I'm sorry. I said I was sorry.

It stings! It really stings!

I'm not surprised.

It's Tabasco sauce.

Atkins: Tribeca, get the hell in here!

Here, bite down on that.

It's tender like a bunion, but it's hard like a corn.

Let me know.

Sit down!

I know what you're gonna say.

Both: You've got some explaining to do.

What happened back there, Tribeca?

I need to get my car washed.

Feb-Ru-tober, Irish center, the Bronx.

You need a break, Tribeca.

Do have and idea how many vacation days you have saved up?

I don't know? 10? 11?

Try 12!

The job is getting to you, Tribeca.

You're wound too tight.

I could kill you for saying that.

Take the rest of the day off. I want your badge and your gun.

-Don't you have your own badge and gun? - I want yours.

What about the golf pro murder that just came in?

It belongs to Tanner and Geils.

And what new spin are you gonna put

on a black cop and a white cop

working together for the first time?

We'll figure it out!

I just don't know what to do if I'm not working.

Go out. Meet someone. Have a relationship.

Go on a date.

Lower your defenses, Tribeca. I know you're lonely.

You don't know me.

Both: I'm fine by myself. I don't need a relationship.

I'm done with dating.

Flibbity flaxon!

You...

I hope you understand.

It's just that I'm used to riding shotgun.

And I hope you understand, so am I.

Let's put on some music.

Tribeca never lets me listen to the radio.

Woman: That was "Yankee Doodle" by Unknown.

Here on Public Domain Radio.

Coming up next, "Silvery Moon" by Unknown.

You listen to Public Domain Radio?

- Yeah. - Me too!

Yeah, I used to listen to it all the time in college.

You went to college? I went to college!

- Where'd you go? - State.

No way! Tech!

- Oh, my god. - Oh, my god.

Here it is. Hoffman, make a right.

Hidden Valley Country Club. Didn't this used to be a ranch?

They moved to Thousand Islands.

Ah.

Hoffman, see if you can find a place to put the car.

What do we got here, Scholls?

We got a golf pro, a Mr. Riley Hale.

Appears to be dead.

How'd he die?

His brain and heart stopped.

After that he had no chance.

Interesting.

Whoever did this hit him with a 5-iron,

got him pretty close to death with a wedge,

and then finished him off with a two-putt.

That's how I would've played it.

Look at these footprints walking away from the body.

Whoa.

Those are really small.

I'm thinking the killer is a woman.

Good police work, Tanner.

Hey, hey! I'm just building off your footprint thing.

As soon as the sausage-fest is over,

we can get back to some police work.

Oh, that's gonna be a while.

Okay, day off.

Day off.

Regular person.

Not a cop.

Excuse me, ma'am. Are you gonna pay for that?

I wasn't planning on it.

I didn't think so.

Oh! Ah!

You're going down, you filthy maggot.

It's a free sample.

Yeah, yeah.

I knew that it was a... fraaaaiy zumple.

It's a free sample.

I have been shopping... one time.

So I'm very familiar

with the concept of vraeeyyy zooomple.

Are you all right?

Yes.

Just...

Just enjoying my...

Fromium zumpumple.

Mmm. Yum.

Fray zumple.

Finding everything all right?

I'm just looking for some individual spaghetti,

like 10 or 11 strands.

So, you live alone, do you?

Both: What, are you some sort of psychic?

Well, you do have American cheese very singles.

Flying solo, airplane-style food for one.

And we all dye alone hair dye.

Guilty.

My name's Vic... Deakins.

But you can call me Vic Deakins.

Angie Tribeca.

How many cats do you have?

Oh, what, just 'cause I'm single,

I'm some sort of crazy spinster with 1,000 cats?

No, just 'cause you're eating cat food.

I thought that was the mascot.

I don't shop much.

I'm usually eating at the precinct.

You're a police officer?

No, I'm a detective.

Cool!

My brother's in jail... for life.

Oh, that's such a crazy coincidence.

Yeah.

- So you work here? - Yeah.

I'm the manager of paper on rolls department here.

Oh.

I used to have high-powered finance job,

but I didn't like what it was doing to me.

It was making me cynical, I was snapping at people...

Jesus, Vic Deakins, finish your story!

Sorry.

I just... I haven't had a day off in a while.

I get it.

I used to be you.

You know, I kind of like you, Angie.

I kind of like... these cups.

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy,

but here's my number.

So call me.

Maybe.

Just gonna grab this for later.

It's a good choice, Angie. Good value.

And they're on sale.

Thank you.

Hurry up! Get the drawer!

Not a cop today.

Not a cop.

Sorry we're late, Dr. Scholls.

Hoffman disappeared with the car.

Did the golf pro's body give us any clues?

There's something unusual about his balls.

Here, take a look.