Love Love: Fractures

I'm not afraid of heights,

but I have a fear of falling

ever since that day at the Jakhu Temple

on top of the highest peak in Shimla

when I fell from your grace.

You trusted me with your fragile heart.

You became my rock and I destroyed you.

Julie, all I want is your forgiveness.

I kissed your best friend, but it was just a drunken kiss.

It meant nothing.

It meant nothing, Julie.

Julie.

I saw your love for me slip away into anger.

You forced me to promise I would not follow you,

and you ran back the way we had climbed up.

You ran down a thousand steps

while I stood still frozen by my promise,

hoping that if I kept this one,

it would bring us back together again.

But somewhere in the world, a butterfly flapped its wings,

and here a rock shook itself free and fell towards your car.

Your driver swerved and avoided the rock,

but the car drove off the cliff

and fell into the valley below.

Julie, I lied to you that day.

It was more than a drunken kiss.

I have grown older, but my shame has not aged.

When we meet again, maybe you'll forgive me.

Maybe we'll find courage and fall in love again.

Ruhi.

You must be hungry.

You haven't eaten in two days.

It was too good to be true.

Come on, I made my signature onion soup.

You are a married man

and I had no idea.

The past is the past.

We are together, that's all that matters.

I should have told you the truth.

About your wife?

About your other identity?

About everything, the real truth.

Will that make me happy?

You promised to keep me happy.

That was the deal.

Let it go, and let's eat, please.

I'm done with you.

Ruhi.

Ruhi!

Ruhi!

Don't smoke, I hate the smell.

Ah!

How dare you tell me what to do.

Remember the deal we made?

I know.

I know the deal.

Will you let me stay, Ruhi?

Please.

If I let you stay, will you keep me happy?

I promise.

Do you believe me?

I'm hungry.

For my onion soup?

It's my signature creation.

Here.

Chin, chin.

Happy?

Where is she?

Your wife?

I don't know.

Do we have to do this?

You said she disappeared.

That's why you couldn't get a divorce.

That's why you had to change your identity,

so you could start a new life.

Now, convince me that's the truth.

And how do I do that?

What do you think happened to her?

She's probably married with a dozen kids.

She always wanted kids.

Something bad happened to her, didn't it?

What do you want, Ruhi?

What do you want from me?

You're going to hurt me?

What?

No.

Did you hurt her?

Go to hell.

When did you see her last?

I don't remember.

The last time you saw her was in Lisbon, Portugal.

June, two years ago.

How do you know?

If you want to stay, convince me she's okay.

I remember now.

She wanted to go to Lisbon.

It was our anniversary.

It was our last chance to fix our marriage.

On our last day there,

she wanted to go see this guy for a concert.

He was some big shot in Portugal or some shit.

It was a beautiful day.

She looked radiant,

laughing, smiling, dancing.

She never looked at me once.

It was like I wasn't even there.

She came to the hotel, packed her bags and left.

She never made it back to the hotel.

She was on the ferry with you watching the sunset.

Your delusions are back.

Take your goddamned meds, Ruhi.

I am not delusional!

You talk in your sleep.

You talk in your sleep

and you said that you killed her

on the ferry back from Troia.

What happened on the ferry, Amar?

What did you do to her?

The ferry ride from Troia.

Yes, after the concert, I convinced her to go back to Troia,

hoping it would rekindle happy memories.

On our way back from Troia,

she stood on the empty deck of the ferry,

smiling into the freezing wind,

looking at the sunset over the Arrabida Mountain.

She told me it was over and left.

I stood there for a long time, frozen in tears.

I never saw her again,

but I didn't hurt her.

Do you believe me, Ruhi?

Ruhi!

Ruhi!

I don't know why I couldn't remember.

It's okay.

People process emotional trauma in different ways.

I'm just trying to put it all behind me.

I know, my love.

Do you believe me, Ruhi?

You and I together.

We'll put this all behind us.

Who is this?

Who is this with you, Ruhi?

Your wife.

She stood on the empty deck of the ferry

watching the sunset over the Arrabida Mountain.

Stop it.

You were with her.

She was your wife, Ruhi.

Not mine.

She didn't want to be your wife anymore.

You slapped her and then she got angry and pushed you.

I pushed her back.

She went over the railing.

I wanted to jump in and save her.

But I wouldn't let you.

Her body washed ashore on Troia beach three days