Reaper

All right, come on. All right. Square it up.

Square those massive shoulders.

Sam, she's not squaring up.

What are they doing?

They're arm wrestling. Sock has never beaten her.

This is what she does. Watch her thumb.

- Ooh, normal. - Sock. Calm down.

Wow.

A statement and a question.

You're gorgeous. Can I buy you a drink?

She has a drink.

Well, when you change your mind,

I'll be at the bar.

Do you believe that? Like, who does that?

Weird.

You know what, Ben? Take the tie off,

- Sam, wrap it up. - You know, you are so dramatic.

No room for air.

- All right. - Okay, nice and tight, she's a cheater.

Hi.

I'm Xavier.

But you can call me X.

What's your name?

Nina.

And this is my boyfriend, Ben.

Nina. That's beautiful.

In the native American language of Quechua,

Nina means "fire." Are you fiery?

She is, and she's taken.

Really? Does he own you?

I'm not interested. Thank you.

You'll come with me to my table,

We'll share a bottle of pinot,

then we'll go back to my loft.

We'll make love, slow and gentle... hard.

What? What? Dude, you need to leave, like right now.

You hear me? Like right now, dude.

What the hell was that?

I don't know. This place is full of creeps tonight.

It's like he wasn't even listening,

Like he's on drugs or something.

You know what? To be fair,

Nina is super foxy and you're... you.

So people have a hard time believing you guys are dating.

Now let's do this thing!

- Finally. - You got no power, boss.

On the count of three.

Ready...

1... 2... 3.

I'm gonna flow through you like gas through a funnel.

It's funny, you know, 'cause I'm coming...

Over the top.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no--no-- Not this time.

Ho ho! Finally. You're just a weak little girl!

You okay?

Did you see that? You want to see what defeat looks like,

Take a picture. Oh, yeah, here's something for you.

Got a little something for you.

- What is he doing? - I choreographed this one.

You should sit down 'cause it's gonna take about 10 minutes. Do it!

M-A-M-A, we know how you got that way,

Your mama!

Uh! Uh! Your mama!

So stupid.

I'm gonna go get some more of that music.

As you can see, the clarity is stunning.

It's so pretty.

However, to be honest, it's a bit pricey for what it is.

Oh.

Well, diamonds are beautiful, but you have to ask yourself,

Who but an expert would really know that it's a diamond?

That's true.

You don't want to get a diamond?

Jake, you might want to check out

those cubic zirconias over there,

see if anything strikes your fancy.

Ok.

I heard even J.Lo has one.

- Hmm. - See, honey? J.Lo.

You know, not that it's any of my business,

But, uh, a man who won't buy you a diamond

doesn't seem to be all that committed, does he?

Having a good time?

Are you kiddin' me?

There's no better feeling in the world than bustin' up nuptials.

I don't care about what J.Lo wears.

Loves it.

All right, soul or what?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Anything you want to tell me about this one?

Hey, well, I'm working here. Ok?

I don't look at every piece of paper that passes across my desk.

You know the drill. Bad guy escaped,

he needs to be captured.

Is this Mr. Sprong?

What are you babbling about?

I know this guy. He was my biology teacher in high school.

Is that gonna be a problem for you, Sammy?

No, not at all.

He was a complete ass.

It totally makes sense he's an evil soul.

I'll be happy to send him back to hell.

I'm outta her. We are done!

Honey?

Reaper S02E11 To Sprong, With Love.

.: Final Edits :. thesurferguy

Bert Wysocki to the manager's office.

Bert Wysocki to the manager's office.

What are you doing in here, Ted?

Cleansing, to get rid of the bad mojo.

Right.

Look at that.

Lovely bone structure.

I'm back.

Shut the door.

- Really? - Yeah.

Store manager. Well, interim store manager,

But those are just words, and...

Words cannot hurt me anymore.

Congrats, Tedster!

Thank you.

Ahh. Couldn't find anyone else to do it, huh?

I called you into my office today

because I learned something over my brief but painful hiatus.

I learned to cherish those who support me...

and shun those who sabotage me,

And you, Sock, well, you've been a supporter.

Uh... I know.

I have.

You were the only one that was there for me during those dark days.

And I want to reward you.

Good. I'll take cash.

This is more than money, my friend. Ok?

I am doing flier for the Sunday paper,

And you, Mr. Bert Wysocki,

with your beautiful face and your sticky uppy hair,

You would be the one who brings in the customers.

I want you to be the face... of the Bench.

What do you think?

I'll do it for 25 bucks.

Sold!

Deal! Hallelujah! It's raining pencils.

I'm rich!

You're not gonna believe this.

What?

My next soul.

Wait. Is this Mr. Sprong?

Yep.

Oh, my god.

I hated this guy.

Was he an escaped soul all along?

I mean, he must have been.

No living person could be that evil.

Wow. Do you know that he told me that I was biologically dumber than a guy?

I mean, I believed that for years.

Yeah, he told me it was possible that I was partially brain damaged.

I still believe that.

What's with the vessel?

We'll check it out.

Ooh. Nice.

It's good weight.

When do we get him?

We?

You mean you want to participate?

I'm sorry. I just thought my job was too evil and terrible for you.

Oh, no, no, no.

It's just too evil for me to date you.

I'll still help you hunt souls.

All right. We'll go tomorrow night after school's closed.

Mr. Sprong always stayed late to grade papers.

Great. It's a date.

I mean, it's just-- It's... something we'll do.

This is so funny.

The Deer Hunter isn't really a comedy.

Oh. Are you sure?

What the hell was that?

Probably just the wind.

Wind? Wind? That's not the wind.

- Okay, Ben. - Uh-huh.

I need to tell you something.

You know those guys that were hitting on me at the bar?

- Yeah? - Those were demons.

And they weren't hitting on me because they think I'm super hot.

They were hitting on me because I'm in heat

and they can't help themselves.

- You're in heat? - Yeah.

Female demons go through a mating season once a year,

Like--Like cats or dogs or bears,

And when I'm in heat,

I give off these pheromones that attract male demons.

You know what? Cut it out!

It's that cheesy X guy from the bar.

God! He's persistent, isn't he?

He must have caught my scent bad.

You know what? That is not ok.

The only one that gets to mate with you is me.

Hey! Where are you?

Get your ass down here.

I said get your ass down here!