Manuela & Manuel (Manuela y Manuel)

Music, maestro.

Today, it has been 58 nights since Tono left.

Who is Tono?

Tono, Tono, you, Tono.

I keep having the same dream I've had since you left.

I am walking towards the altar.

I look radiant in a beautiful designer dress,

and I felt fortunate...

...fulfilled, because love had finally knocked on my door,

unannounced, quietly.

But as suddenly as it arrives, just as suddenly, it leaves.

He loves me, he loves me not.

Should I kill myself, should I not?

Can someone explain to me why Tono left?

Someone who watches this video on the Internet.

Once I'm dead.

A decaying corpse.

I'm not ugly.

I'm talented.

I have a beautiful home.

I have a lot of love to give.

A lot of love!

I don't understand anything...

...anything at all.

If you called Manuela, the one and only,

you have the right number.

If you are a friend calling, welcome!

If you are a businessman, may your contract be welcome.

If you are a bill collector, don't worry, we'll pay.

If it is you, Tono, I give you my heart and soul.

Bastard.

Manuela?

You're not home.

I have to talk to you.

Please call me back.

Look at me

I am the diva

You'd better roll out the red carpet

Cause here I come

I'm a diva from head to toe

And it's getting better every day

I don't cook

I don't wash dishes

And I do not do windows

Cause I'm a diva

You're late.

Hey, sweetie, you look great. I love you.

I love you. We'll talk later.

You're getting fat. Stop eating gizzards.

You're late again!

I've told you before.

Don't complain afterwards when Don Armando fires your ass.

-Yes. -Yes....

I want to see you kissing up to Don Armando later.

Get out of my way!

Let me tell you something.

You've burned four wigs this month!

Oh, yeah?

What you have to worry about is that audience of yours.

They're terrible!

That's the world of entertainment. Do your job well!

Don't push me!

If only they knew how nerves make me constipated before singing.

I don't know how you'll do out there, Manuela.

At least they clapped for me,

but with the face you're wearing lately, sweetie,

I don't think they'll even look at you.

Take my shoes off, kid.

Oh, God. Look at that.

I'm fed up to the balls, which I cut off,

with all your little mementos!

Good Lord!

Look at this one.

Look at the little teddy bear. Look at the teddy bear.

Is that a plum? Can I have it?

Take it.

Thank you. I hope they help me take a shit tonight.

The doctor told me hormones can damage my intestines.

Imagine, with all the hormones I've done!

If it's up to me, you can have them all.

Tono used to love plums.

I never want to see them again.

I'm going to tell you something, Manuela.

If you mention Tono one more time or if he ever shows up again,

I'm going to take a shit,

but it's going to fly up so it lands on top of that asshole, girlfriend!

Enough already!

Are you going to strip me?

Manuela, have you thought that maybe Tono has a lover?

If I were you, I'd start getting used to it.

What am I supposed to say to an offer like that?

Yes, of course!

It's what we've been waiting for six months.

I suppose Mr. Green is happy.

He's busting out of his shoes!

So are you.

It's important that we organize the welcome party well!

I want those gringos to get drunk until they're passed out.

Why don't we invite them to come here?

Didn't you say that this is the "in" thing to do these days?

I want people to stop talking to me

To leave me alone

I'm sick of hearing so much criticism

Is that a man or a woman?

I want people to stop talking to me

To leave me alone

So much criticism

I'm about to explode

It's an abyss

They should let me live

They should leave me alone

They should let me feel that I live my life

They should let me live

They should leave me alone

They should let me feel that I live my life

I'll continue singing to the very end

Dance with me

Where time can't stop

They should let me live

They should leave me alone

They should let me feel that I live my life

They should let me live

They should leave me alone

They should let me feel that I live my life

Bravo, bravo, excellent!

Excellent! Bravo!

We have an open bar. We have 2 for 5....

Tono, Tono, Tono....

Tono!

Here we go again with Tono.

It's you, baby.

I've been looking for you since 7:00.

Where have you been?

Coca, you know I have shows on Saturdays.

Don't you believe in cell phones?

No.

I'm a traditional gal.

I need to see you. Are you going to be there?

Yes, what's up?

I have a really big problem, Manuela.

I'm heading your way. Don't go anywhere, all right?

Okay.

Yes, can I help you?

Thank goodness you aren't wearing that little dress.

If you don't like it, why do you come here?

And who is going to collect the rent?

Since you don't pay me, I have no choice.

They're paying me tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Sunday.

The Bible states no work on Sundays.

I'll have to wait until Monday to collect.

Because I have always followed what the Bible says to the letter.

You see an unmarried woman, but a survivor.

If the Bible says no work, then no work.

Great. See you on Monday.

Did I get any mail?

No.

And can you tell the mailman not to be so lazy?

Have him put your letters under your door.

-How hard can it be? -He is lazy.

Like everyone nowadays!

Do you know what the Bible says about the lazy?

Dona Rosa, it's past 2:00 in the morning.

So... it's Sunday.

Don't work anymore talking to me. Go rest.

Okay. I didn't realize it was so late.

I hardly sleep.

Monday, then.

You're in charge of the mail.

Will this woman ever stop?

-Yes? -Manuelita, I need you now.

You have to help me.

What's wrong?

I have a huge problem.

Are "they" coming after you?

Did you do something illegal again?

Worse.

Poor you if you peed on this.

Take a good look at it.

I already did.

Don't worry.

We'll do another one.

These things can be wrong.

Manuel, say something.

Manuel?

Manuela, Manuela, Manuela, Manuelita!

And your mouth stays in the same place.

I swear.

The only thing I'd tell you if I were Dona Rosa is that today is Sunday,

and on Sundays, nobody speaks about love.

Love? What love?

It was a one-night stand!

But I never expected this.

No sex talk on a Sunday, and take that jacket off.

No wonder I couldn't find it.

What's up with you?

You don't want to help me? Should I go?

No, no, no.

Sorry, sorry.

You know how I get.