Speed 2 Cruise Control

He's on the way, Mack.

I'm droppin' him right in your lap.

Copy that. We're all set up.

Now, listen, Alex, everything by the book.

No stunts and no wrecks today, all right?

Oh, shit.

It's the little things, you know, that I'm still trying to get used to.

Like, if I drop my napkin... Ow. ...in a restaurant,

Alex gives me his.

Car door needs opening, he opens it.

My neighbors, abusive? He yells at them.

The other night, we were watching a video, he let me pick it out.

Do you want to slowly merge into...

Signal first!

Too late. Okay.

- Oh. That's good. Oh, boy. - All right.

My last boyfriend, Jack, wasn't exactly the romantic type.

Two years ago, for my birthday...

He gives me pepper Spray.

I think it's perfume.

I end up in the emergency room.

- Uh-huh. - I'm telling you,

relationships based on extreme circumstances

- never work out. - Right.

- Right? - No!

Watch the glass!

Your boyfriend drive like this?

Oh, Alex? No. No, no, no.

Alex is so completely different.

He is. I mean, he works beach patrol.

He spends all day on a bicycle in Venice.

Shit.

I'm sure he's on the beach right now.

That's how we met, by the way. I was, uh, jaywalking.

- Jaywalking, huh? - Yeah.

Well, you know, jaywalking is a crime.

Yeah, but I needed to get across

and at the point where they...

Dip!

- Ow. - Another dip!

Oh! Aah...

Two dips.

- It's our anniversary tonight. - Yeah?

Seven months.

Neither one of us has ever dated longer.

That's why we're celebrating...

Look, why don't you slow down

and tell me your problem, huh? Good.

Uh, make a left here.

I said... Oh! Easy!

Slow down!

Slow down!

Shit!

Miss, pull over to the side, please.

Miss, pull over to the side, please!

Side.

I can't! There's a cliff!

On my command!

Shit!

Hold your fire, gentlemen, he's too far!

All right, everybody in the car! Let's go!

You're under arrest.

You have the right to remain silent. Ow.

That hurt.

Pull over to the side, please.

Pull over here.

- I can't pull over. - Stop right here.

This is absolutely not my fault, Mr. Kenter.

Oh, I need my license back.

Oh, my God.

What? What?

Stop! Stop!

You'll never drive in this town again.

Alex?

Annie.

What... What happened? What...

How'd the driving test go?

Oh, it, uh...

Not good. Not good.

Um, why aren't you...

Why... Why aren't you at the beach?

You know, it's funny. There's this...

Perfectly...

reasonable explanation...

You're a madman, Shaw!

Nice working with you, as always.

So far, they've recovered some of the stolen computers

and apprehended one of the suspects

thanks mainly to SWAT team member Alex Shaw

who was the officer injured in today's high-speed chase.

You lied to me.

Annie, I didn't lie about...

You never said that you were on the suicide squad, ever.

You knew that I was a cop. I said that I was...

Wait.

Oh, Come on. Ow.

Let me ask you.

When I had conversations with you and I told you about Jack

and how he was always getting hurt

that I thought that he was out of his mind

and that I would never date anybody like that again,

a little bell didn't go off in your head and say,

"Well, maybe I should tell her now what I do for a living?"

Exactly. And blow it?

Well, when did you plan on telling me this?

- Well, today. - Oh, today?

Yeah, which is good you're here.

Today was the day... Mr. Spontaneity.

You know what I pictured you doing in Venice?

I pictured you...

I don't know, just busting teenage pickpockets and stuff,

walking old women across the street, drinking lemonade.

I do fill in for a friend down at the beach occasionally.

And I often, often enjoy a nice glass of lemonade.

You know what? I don't even know you.

I feel I don't even know you.

I don't even know who you are anymore.

I don't understand.

We got to spend some time together, then we'll get to know each other.

Let's go away together.

Okay, where?

The Caribbean.

Oh, The Caribbean. Do you have a concussion?

We work 6 days a week, Alex.

We've never even been away for a weekend.

I was going to surprise you tonight, but, uh...

It's a cruise.

This is so unfair, Alex.

You can't just pull out tickets to some exotic island

and think that's going to make everything okay.

I don't expect that I can make it all right,

but, uh, you know, maybe I thought we could.

No. Don't do that.

I want to be depressed right now.

I don't want you to, like, do that.

Don't.

All right, all right.

- Don't. - I won't.

Welcome to the Seabourn Legend.

Thank you. Welcome.

Oh, now, this is a cute couple.

How about a picture?

Don't move! Pictures don't move.

What are your names?

I'm Annie. This is Alex.

Adorable. My name's Dante.

How about a big smile for the newlyweds?

Oh, actually, we're not newlyweds.

It's only 34.50 for a double set of mugs

and if you don't like the pictures,

return them for photo credit on a future cruise.

Welcome to paradise, and the name's Dante!

This ship has 5 passenger decks, A, B, C, D, E.

You'll be staying on deck C.

There's a swimming pool, a health spa, a beauty salon, a casino...

Hey. Excuse me.

Sir?

I'm starting to get a little upset.

My golf clubs... Have you found them?

Yes. There's absolutely no reason to be upset.

They're downstairs in storage, and I'll bring them up

just as soon as I get this lovely couple to their cabin.

We'll see you later.

- Hi. - Hi.

These are the coordinates for the first leg, Captain.

Thank you.

Thruster is in.

All engines on standby.

Well, let's take her out, then.

Welcome to your suite.

Believe me, in 7 days you'll be sorry to leave room 6088,

your happy and humble home.

Now, if you two need anything else, anything at all,

you just call Ashton.

And let me thank you both in advance for the generous gratuity,

I know you'll be leaving me at the end of this cruise.

- Just kidding. - But not really.

Oh. And, you two

have a nice honeymoon.

Oh, we're... We're not...

Not married.

Nope.

Hyah!

Thank you.

- Thank you. - Big enough for you?

Well, size doesn't matter. You know that.

Yes!

Why? I mean, all of the sudden, I have Love Boat fever.

It feels really good.

I'm really, truly excited about being on a cruise ship.

I don't know why.

Maybe they, like, pump drugs

through, like, the air conditioning system or something like that.

What do you think?

Yeah, you know what I need?

I need lots of those yummy little drinks

with those highly little impractical umbrellas in them.

That is what I need.

Yeah, you're looking good.

So who's ready to party on the big boat besides me?