iZombie

Previously on iZombie...

The rumors that our own men are skimming brains and selling them

on the black market.

There is one name I know.

Russ Roche.

I want you to buddy up to him.

- - Liz, stop!

You're suspended, you are not to leave this building

or participate in field work of any kind

for the foreseeable future.

What?

- -

Come on, Liz, you can't let them eat my brain.

Our prisoner was turned into a zombie last night.

Someone knew where he was.

You're her, aren't you? You're renegade.

This is gonna get you killed, Liv.

Isobel could be the key to creating a vaccine

that could prevent every human on the planet from catching

the zombie virus.

I'm gonna die, I wanna go out knowing that my life had meaning.

It's basically Party Central.

The booze, the drugs.

Honestly, Mom, it's a lot of work having so much fun.

Thanks for taking one for the team, honey.

- How are you feeling? - Oh, fine.

Biggest problem here is the noise.

Life with Liv and Peyton is pretty much like living in a brothel.

You're probably having a hard time even hearing me with all the

wild sex that's going on.

I mean, yeah, now that Curtis is a zombie, Chase Graves can't eat

his brain and uncover all the railroad's secrets,

but he can do other things to get him to talk.

And that's all Curtis's pregnant girlfriend can think about.

It's all I'm thinking about.

Your parents are gonna love me,

all parents do.

I'm like a tall stuffed animal with a medical degree, you'll see.

I hope so.

It would be great if you could check in on them while I'm in DC.

Wait, you're...

You're going to DC?

Yeah, in a couple days.

Did I forget to mention it?

Yeah, you did.

By the way, your voice goes up an entire octave when you're being sneaky.

I'm not being sneaky.

That's two octaves.

You know how I used to be afraid of needles?

What?

You're making that face again.

Your nose.

Oh, um...

This? This is nothing.

It's just a regular bloody nose,

not the certain death kind.

How long have you been getting these?

Um, first time.

It's nothing, really. Gotta run. Talk later, love you.

Honey?

Isobel, are you hungry?

'Cause I'm in a waffle kind of mood.

- Isobel! - What's wrong?

Oh, my God, is she...

Dead?

No, gotcha.

You should see your faces right now.

So angry.

So drained of blood.

Why would you do that?

Are you out of your mind?

This bloody nose, is it real?

Look, I know you're pissed,

but if you just saw my bloody nose,

you'd freak because of the whole "I'll be dead soon" thing.

But since you thought I was already dead,

and it turns out I'm not,

you're relieved.

Right?

It's all about context.

Right?

We have to check Isobel into a hospital.

Her opinion on the matter is irrelevant.

She's right about one thing.

All they're gonna do there is put her in a bed until she dies.

And how are we gonna get her there?

Conk her on the head?

Mornin'!

Time to solve some murders.

We're burnin' daylight.

Sounds like someone didn't get his flu shot.

And maybe turn into a werewolf? No, thanks.

The murder happened last night around 11:00

in the parking lot of Sick Puppies.

Sick Puppies?

It's a bar off 5th.

It shares a building with a pet hospital.

Looks like blunt force trauma to the head.

Oh, thank you, Doctor.

Do you mind if I render an opinion so all those years

at medical school don't feel wasted?

Man, she's got pretty big hair.

And a pretty big penis.

I guess all that medical schooling did pay off.

Meet Vince.

He was at an office retirement party for his boss,

where some of the workers did a little "skit".

He played the part of Sheila, the very real head of HR.

Apparently, he got a lot of laughs.

And enough blunt force trauma to tear his carotid artery in half.

What did Sheila think of his performance?

His co-workers said that she was not amused.

Sounds like we have our first suspect.

More than 40% of our brains aren't making it to our distribution centers.

The theft happens after the trucks

with the brain tubes leave the packaging plant,

but before they get to the distribution centers.

We may, however, have a solution.

What are those?

High-tech crates.

Manufactured by a Japanese security firm.

If breached, they signal their location.

They look expensive.

They are. Major.

Test them out in the field.

If they work, we'll make the switch.

Yes, sir.

I said I want camera two on sticks, not handheld!

And when he walks to stage left,

I want him backlit like Ripley in Aliens,

when she says "Get away from her, you bitch!"

Just 'cause you ate the brain

of some jackass who directs music videos does not make you a director.

Actually, that's exactly what it means.

That's how it works.

What's all this?

This is for you, Mr. Number One on the call sheet.

We are taking you global.

These walls are not big enough to hold you.

You sermonize, I will film-atize.

And then we will put it out there and you will become

the spiritual leader of the New World Order.

I'm already the spiritual leader of the New World Order.

We're just letting everybody else know that.

Lieutenant, I know you're busy,

but just one more time, please.

Okay, but, seriously, last time.

Oh, thanks. It is just so damn funny.

You and Michelle knockin' boots yet?

No, not this.

The part where Liv beats the dude with the fish.

I'm not doing this dance with you, Liv.

Hand stuff?

Look, we kissed, the night of the lockdown.

I knew it.

It's complicated.

Look, I love Dale, but...

I just realized, I'm late for a thing.

Show me later.

I've also been thinking about how every future

I've imagined for myself had kids in it.

I wanna be a dad, Liv.

With a human like Michelle, that can happen.

They're not letting zombies adopt, so, you know,

with Dale, that'd mean no kids... Ever.

Look, I love to laugh.

I just didn't think Vince was funny.

I'm an easy target.

I run HR, everybody hates HR,

but I don't hold grudges.

Although, I will say Vince is certainly a cheeky one to make fun of people,

with all his problems.

- What problems are those? - He's a crazy germophobe.

The guy won't touch a doorknob,

and then there's the constant hand scrubbing.

And with this flu going around?

Please, if Vince was here, he'd be crawling out of his skin.

Sorry I'm late.

With all the hacking and sneezing,

trying to get through town is like ice-skating on a Petri dish.

What did I miss?

Sheila here was expressing her displeasure with Vince's portrayal of her.

But not enough to kill him, my God!

Listen, you look like me, you get pretty used to guys staring at your boobs.

- - Come on.

If you're not gonna let me buy you a shot, then let me buy you a beer.

Come on, be a little friendlier.

Dude, that's a dude.

Bet you think

you're real funny, don't you, huh? You piece of...

What?

We need to talk to number 25

on the Sick Puppies softball team.

I'll track down a roster.

There's a lot of love out there.

And you're the man with the plan.

You're gonna kill tonight, baby, but don't actually kill anybody,

because people are gonna see this.

That was a joke, of course.

But seriously, don't.