Wonder Man

The show runner just called. He's cutting your character from the show.

You never let me in, Simon.

Not really.

What's this "big audition" you were talkin' about?

I'm auditioning for Wonder Man.

Anyway, nice meeting you.

Wait. Someone's actually remaking Wonder Man?

It's too late. Today was the last day of auditions.

You're a bloody mess. You can't go in like this.

And then you ran into each other at the audition?

Yes.

Are you sure he's buying the act?

- He doesn't suspect a thing. -

I was ten when the acting bug first bit.

My first audience was my dear old mum, Dorothy.

I… I had to keep her spirits up.

It was the least I could do, after all she gave to me.

Hmm. You can see how much she loves you.

Oh, she was a saint. A true saint.

She always believed in me, believed in my acting.

I'd never have made it without her.

Wait… Were you in a hospital show?

South Shore Hospital, yeah. The first three episodes.

Yes! With Joe Pantoliano. I love him.

Yeah.

- No, yeah. People do. - Mmm.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's true. I've had some low points,

some bits I'd rather forget… but that's all behind me now.

Thirteen years sober, back in Hollywood, ready to make my mum proud.

You know, she always said my acting could be important, vital,

and I'm gonna prove her right.

- Oh, that's wonderful. -

Your mother would be so happy for you.

- - Stay down!

- - Stay down! Do not move!

Trevor Slattery, you're under arrest.

I'm not resisting.

- Step back. Step back. - We're not together.

Some people call me a terrorist.

I consider myself a teacher.

America, ready for another lesson?

Thirty-nine hours ago,

the Ali Al Salem Air Base in Kuwait was attacked.

I, I, I did that.

Pretty scary stuff.

- It's called acting. -

I'm gonna shoot him in the head,

- live on your television. -

- Acting? - They're squibs. Blanks.

- You sure about that? - Why are we going through all this again?

- I had my trial. I went to jail. - And never finished your sentence.

- Not my fault. - No one cares.

- -

You know, the way that I see this,

you have two options.

Option one, is that you go back to prison and finish your sentence.

I like that option. And then you have option two,

which is, you do a little work for the Department of Damage Contr...

Two. Option two, thanks.

Okay.

This is Simon Williams.

You're an actor. Do you think you can get close to him?

I would need some bait.

An audition could work.

Shouldn't be hard to set up a fake one.

No, he'd see through it.

He's a… he's a working actor with an agent.

This is a small town. He'll know what's real.

You need to find out what projects are coming up, something juicy.

Something Simon Williams would be particularly excited about.

Yeah, one sec.

- Hey. - How in the hell did Ruth Bakshi call me

about your audition for Wonder Man?

Yeah, see, that's kind of a funny thing.

No, no, it's actually not funny.

I… I'm so mad, I don't even wanna hear it.

I'm sorry, Janelle, I had to. It's just...

It's just something about this role.

It feel like…

It feel like the one, like it was made for me, you know what I mean?

Actually, I don't. Mmm-mmm.

- She loved me, didn't she? - Simon, stop.

She loved me.

She said somethin' about you showin' promise, maybe.

I knew it!

Yeah, but she's also realistic, like me.

She's putting you up for an opportunity that you actually have a real shot at.

It's a self-tape for a indie feature, The Carlyle.

Get it to me as soon as you can.

You better deliver for Ruth. You want her on your side.

- 'Cause she tight with Von Kovak. - Because she's a great casting director!

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, I got you.

Do you? Do you got me? Bye.

All right.

"Poetry teacher I'm close with, you never judge?"

"Who says? Who says what? That I don't judge?"

"How is it that no matter who I bring in here, boy or girl,"

"my mother or that odd poetry teacher, you never judge?"

Who says?

Who says what?

That I don't judge?

That was bad.

Zha! Zha!

- Who says what? - Who say...

- How is it that no ma... - What'd you...

How is it that no matter who I...

- Shut up, not yet. - No matter who I...

Would you like to charge it to the room?

How is it that no matter who I bring in here, boy or girl,

or my mother or that odd poetry teacher, you never judge?

Who says?

Who says what?

That I don't judge?

Maybe I'm just good at hiding it.

It's good. Maybe just…

Maybe just, like, down in the back.

- Okay. - And then, maybe this out.

Okay.

- Yeah, I like that. - Thank you.

- Monetti. - Come here.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

- -

- -

Did you notice any signs of visible enhancement?

Like what, exactly?

I don't know. Like a subtle glow, maybe?

No, he was not glowing.

I said subtle.

Look, Trevor, the Department of Damage Control

considers Simon Williams an extraordinary threat,

and I just need some proof, and I need it fast,

and I think we've wasted enough time tryna search for this "perfect audition."

- It was worth it. - I think we could've gone with M3GAN 3.0.

- - That's why you hired me.

Oh, will you look at that?

Simon Williams needs help with an audition, wants me to come over.

You see, my friend? That is great news.

I want you to wear this.

When you enter his place, find his computer

and place this right on top, and I'll handle the rest remotely.

Got it.

Why aren't you texting him back?

I wouldn't want him to think I'm just sitting around all day

waiting for someone to text me.

Okay.

I think we've waited long enough, maybe.

I'll handle the role of Trevor Slattery, if you don't mind.

Okay. I've put down my book.

I have crossed the room. I've reached my phone.

"Intriguing. When were you thinking?"

- He's thinking "now." - Is he?

- - "That might be tricky."

"I would have to move some things around,"

"but there might be a chance I could manage... "

Just say, "See you in 20."

I would never text a sentence fragment.

Meeting is set.

- - Great.

"How far that little candle throws his beams!"

"So shines a good deed in a naughty world."

Yeah.

Shakespeare.

Right.

Merchant of Venice.

Sure.

Don't mess this up, Trevor.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

- Yeah? - Yeah, it's Trev. Trevor Slattery.

Cool, be right down.

Wait… aren't I coming up?

Hey.

Thanks for comin'.

- Let's go shoot this thing. - Aren't we using your apartment?

Nah, it's got bad energy.

Look, I just went through a breakup, so it's kinda hard to focus in there.

I gotta be centered for this. It's gotta be good.

Okay. Okay, so where do we go?

There's a self-tape studio not far from here.

And what, pray tell, is a self-tape studio?

They sprang up over the last few years.

You rent the room by the minute. It helps.

Since almost everything these days is a self-tape.

It's tragic how the industry's changed.

- - Oh.

Sorry, I've… I've gotta take this.