The Love Punch

Thank you.

Hello.

Hello.

I'll have the same.

Ah, weddings!

Ah, weddings.

Natalie was after we split.

Minutes.

But well done for trying.

I heard the new one legged it.

Michaela and I have parted company, yes.

These young women, they just can't make up their minds, can they?

No.

You get me, Kate, though. Or you used to.

That's because I'm a trained child psychologist.

So, how's life for the nearly retired corporate sellout?

Marvellous. I'm playing some of the best golf of my life.

What?

- You're going to be so bored. - I will not be bored.

- Totally and utterly bored. - Rubbish!

- Bored. - Rubbish.

- You look great, by the way. - Oh, shut up.

Damn it! Still handsome.

- OK, so he's here. - Who?

- Ken. - Oh!

Is that him?

- He's got a nice body. - Ken?

Pen's tennis coach.

It's time Kate fought more aggressively.

Get out there.

I do get out there!

Taking your laptop out into the garden is not getting out there.

Come on, you two! Get back together.

- Come on, get back together. - Not now, Jerry.

- Well, we live in hope. Just imagine. - Oh!

- Oh, hello. - Hi.

You're Ken, aren't you? Hello.

Oh! Wh... whoosh!

- Ah... flowers! - Yeah, they're for you.

Oh, thank you. They're... they're lovely.

- You're allergic. - Only mildly.

Why is Kate holding flowers when she's allergic?

Only mildly.

- I'm so sorry. I didn't know... - No, no, no, it's fine.

It's not all flowers. Really, I like them. I want them. I actually want them.

Why has Kate got flowers? She's allergic.

- Only mildly. - Don't!

Ah, Michaela!

I've come to take my car.

Move yours, it's blocking mine. I want out.

- Uh-huh. Who's he? - My new lover.

Bloody hell.

Can't you do that a bit louder, darling? I don't think you've woken the whole street.

Come on, Mum. You're supposed to be helping me.

I'm coming, I'm coming.

"Hello, Kate. My name is Jean-Baptiste Durain.

"I'm 57 years old, live in Paris and would love to converse with you."

Durain!

Well, this is a first.

Hey-hey!

Prodigal daughter departing for an establishment of higher learning.

Hurrah for said person!

- Where is it you're going, again? - Edinburgh.

Edinburgh. Oh, brilliant! Yeah, cor... Brilliant!

Say yes to everything. Go on, och aye to it all.

- Well, not everything, Jerry. - No, of course not.

- Jerry! Here you are. - What? No, I don't want that darling.

- What? - It's boiling. No, I'm all right, thanks.

Anyway, Sophie, have a ball.

See you at Christmas, darling.

- See you, Uncle Jerry. - Ho-ho!

Now, you haven't forgotten about tomorrow night.

Ken's definitely coming.

Despite what happened with the flowers, he's still keen.

All right. Well, second time lucky.

Smashing! That's my girl. Seven o'clock at ours.

- I think that's her serve. - I hope not.

Oh, shot. Ding dong!

Hey, one more week, old son, and you'll be doing this all day every day.

This is going to be our new office.

It's what we've worked our whole lives for, isn't it?

- Eh? - Yeah.

Yeah, I suppose you're right, my friend.

Yep. Living the dream, old son. Living the dream.

No more answering to the man.

We call and we... take the shots.

- Ah, that's not bad. - Nice one.

- Whoo-hoo! - Sure we won't be bored now?

Bored? Bored? What, with all this? Bored!

As if.

- Oh! - Oh, no. It's not gone again, has it?

- Oh, yeah. Shit! - Anything I can do?

Yeah, just... just put your... put your thumb right there, mate.

Oh, I'd better not stand there. People will talk.

Now, don't forget: always wash your jeans inside out,

if it looks swollen, it probably is, and...

and never put anything into your mouth that hasn't been boiled first.

- Oh, it's Dad. - Oh.

Hi, Dad.

Hello, my darling. Have you left yet?

I'm just setting off. I'm with Mum.

'Lucky girl, going to Edinburgh.'

Your Mum and I were quite the dynamic pair on campus in our day.

Maybe I'll buy a flat near you and relive my student days.

- Er... no, thanks, Dad. It's my turn. - 'Yes, it is indeed.'

Don't know where Jerry's going. No, Jerry's getting lost.

'So what are you gonna do now you're retired?'

'Oh, I don't know.'

Maybe I'll finally buy that boat and sail around the world, you know.

- You were gonna do that with Mum. - 'That's true, I was.'

Dad, I have to go. I've got a big drive ahead of me.

OK. Call me when you get in, now. I love you, Sophie.

'Love you too, Dad.'

- He's threatening to relive his student days. - Mmm.

- What were you two like at college? - Naive, unrealistic, ill-prepared.

So, everything that I am right now.

Not you, not you, never you.

Not at all. Come on, off you go.

Don't forget to call me when you get there. Always go out in groups.

If you get homesick, come home. And try and find a good taxi service.

Because some of them have women-only drivers.

Women-only drivers, got it. Anything else?

Be yourself, you're lovely.

Oh!

Hi, honey, I'm home.

Hello, Rumps. Come here.

Hello, darling.

What shall we do this afternoon, eh?

Let's get drunk.

Hi, honey, I'm home.

You can hide all you like.

I've spotted you and we should get a start on your last week.

Yes, of course. Good morning, Doreen.

It has always been our good fortune to share the same train.

No rest for the wicked, Mr. Jones.

Doreen, after all these years, after everything we've been through,

are you still refusing to call me Richard?

Yes! Now, you have a ten o'clock meeting with the new owners.

- Yeah. - Any idea who they are?

Hmm...

Young is all I know, Doreen.

I took your advice on their pension share offer.

- I took them up on it. - What? The whole lot?

Yes, lots of us did. Janice in Accounts, Marcus in Payroll.

Well, it's a solid offer.

Now, you have a prostate check at 2:15 today.

I'm gonna miss these little chats, Doreen.

I thought my leaving party was on Friday.

I don't think this is a party, Mr. Jones.

- It's all gone, Richard. The lot! - What?

Morning, everyone.

Richard, what's going on?

I don't know, Janice. I have no idea.

- Did you know about this? - No, of course not, Marcus.

- Is this legal? Can they just do this? - Yes, of course they can.

Now, wait a minute. We don't know that.

Just... just give me some time here, please.

- Will we get paid this month? - Yes, of course you will.

- Did you know this was coming? - Of course he didn't!

Someone said the shares are worthless. Is that true?

- No. - Yes.

Jesus!

I suppose they'll let us in at some point. To collect our things, I mean.

Doreen, I promise you, I will sort this out.

Everyone, listen up! I promise you I'll get to the bottom of this.

I will find out what's going on but I just need some time, OK?

What are we supposed to do now?

- How? - But, Richard, what can you do?

I... I don't know, but I promise you,

I will make sure that every one of you gets what they're due.

I will not, will not, let you down.

OK, Jean-Baptiste, here I come.

I am interested in the, er...

...the arts and culture.

I love travel and adventure

and generally being...

...spon-tan-eous.

Whoosh!

Oh, God!

'Finally, after heavy bidding, a diamond has been sold today at Sotheby's

'for a record 10.8 million.'

Blimey!

'Known in the trade as the Eye of the Rainbow because of its distinctive colouring in the light

'it was bought at auction in New York. Today's buyer wishes to remain anonymous.

'However, Sotheby's says the buyer plans...

'...for the stone to be the centrepiece of a necklace...

Or to be sold for starving children.

'...for one lucky lady likely to be extremely happy

'with her gift this evening.

'Coming up on Sky News at seven...'