The Musketeers

I have a warrant from the Cardinal,

for the immediate arrest of your prisoner Martin Labarge.

He's already under arrest for the murder of two Musketeers.

Ah. Well, you're to hand him over to us for questioning.

It's not safe here.

I want it noted he's a very dangerous man.

Duly noted.

Very well.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Come on, Labarge!

This should be fun.

Yaaah! Huargh!

Huargh! Huargh!

Aargh!

I think they need our help. They're just too shy to ask.

Stay out of this, damn you!

Come on!

Musketeer scum!

It's your fault that Captain Trudeau is dead!

Captain Trudeau was given fair warning. His own arrogance killed him.

Labarge is a regional Intendant.

You had no business arresting him without coming to me first.

Your Intendant is a violent criminal, who subjected Gascony to a reign of terror.

I went to Gascony once. It's full of sheep and hedges.

It is true that Labarge exceeded his authority,

but I was in the process of recalling him to Paris

before Captain Treville so recklessly intervened.

The Red Guards put innocent lives at risk!

The Musketeers were lucky my guards didn't kill them. Oh, really? You know what?

Any of my Musketeers could thrash any of your Red Guards at any time!

1,000 livres Captain Treville is right.

Each side to choose his champion in a contest to settle the matter.

What do you say, Cardinal? Do you accept the wager?

Shall we say...2,000 livres?

Oh!

Did you miss me?

Not at all! Hm.

This is so wrong.

I just wish it felt wrong.

Then I'd know what to do.

If you've changed your mind...?

Your rent is overdue. My apologies for that, Monsieur.

I haven't received any income from my farm for the last two months.

Well, you've put yourself in a reckless position.

You're a farmer who neglects his land

and a would-be Musketeer with no commission in sight.

I could point out your folly, but, er... perhaps it's not necessary.

Gentlemen!

Finally we have the opportunity to prove what we have always known.

That technically... What's going on?

There is to be a competition between the Musketeers and the Red Guards.

Yeah, each side will choose a champion,

to settle the issue of which regiment is greater.

As if it were in doubt. How will this champion be chosen?

There will be competitive trials...

..and a 30-livres entry fee.

30?

It forms a prize purse. Winner takes all.

Why didn't you say so before, huh?

This isn't about money. This is about the honour of the Musketeers.

One man amongst you will have the honour of representing me.

When that man defeats and humiliates the Musketeer champion...

..I will double his prize money.

Now, which of you here is the greatest fighter?

Captain Trudeau was the best man in the regiment... before Labarge killed him.

A pig wouldn't eat that.

Eat it or starve, Labarge.

Monsieur Labarge to you.

Agh!

Well, gentlemen,

may the best man amongst us win.

Those of us who are allowed to compete.

You are a Musketeer in all but name. All you lack is the King's commission.

Go to Treville. Ask him.

There is just the thorny issue of the entry fee.

Anyone got it?

My pockets are empty and the cupboard is bare.

Yeah, I just pawned my cupboard.

Porthos, my friend,

I think it's time for us to go fishing for a patroness.

Needs must.

Deliver, O Lord, the souls of the faithful departed

from the chains of...

Who are the departed?

Head of the candle-makers' guild died a year ago...

leaving his widow very rich.

Fourth pew, left side.

Madame Laurent has a thing about Musketeers.

Hm.

Many brave men have gone there, but few have returned.

Mm.

Fifth pew, right side.

Madame Marchand.

In possession of one indifferent husband...

Hm... three lovers

and five small and irritating dogs.

"Whither I go ye know, and the way ye know."

And Thomas said unto him, "Lord, we know not where thou goest.

"How can we know..." Easy does it.

Yeah?

It's a Requiem Mass, not a party at Madame Angel's.

The truth and the light...

I need your permission to compete. I'm ready.

There's no guarantee you'll win. You know that.

I'm not asking for a favour, only for the chance to prove myself.

You'd be up against the very best.

I know.

D'Artagnan, there's no easy way to tell you this.

I've just received a list of charges against Labarge from the Cardinal.

Your farm was one of the properties destroyed by Labarge.

Apparently, he did it as a warning to other local landowners.

He knew your father was greatly respected amongst them.

That farm was my only source of income.

I'll make sure justice is done, if that's any comfort.

Justice won't pay the rent.

My condolences, Madame.

Your husband, er... he was a great man.

And a great candle-maker.

Well, which goes without saying.

I don't believe we've been introduced.

Porthos, of the King's Musketeers.

A Musketeer, no less?

How did you meet him? Ah, well, it's...

It was at an event.

You know, we both attended the same one, you know, obviously.

It was ages ago now.

It was, um...

Of course, it was the reception at the palace,

when the heads of guilds were presented to the King...

Yes. Yeah.

..and there were those peculiar courtiers.

One of them was dressed as a Roman general and wore a lilac-blue wig.

Comte de Simonet.

Yeah, thinks he was Mark Antony in a previous life.

Cleopatra, more likely.

Um...

..perhaps I can escort you to your carriage.

Oh, I walked here today. Oh.

I know that's considered rather shocking.

But... Oh, no, no, no.

I have been cooped up indoors for so long.

Then allow me to walk you home.

The contest is my only chance.

I have to win that prize, I just need to raise the entrance fee.

30 livres is a lot of money. You don't have to remind me.

First I lose my father and then I lose his farm.

No money, no prospects.

I honestly can't think what you see in me.

Everything will be fine.

You'll raise the money and...

you'll win the contest. I know you will.

Where am I going to find 30 livres?

Well, this is...

A treat, for coming out of mourning.

It's probably not the done thing.

But a year is a long time in black crepe.

Well, the done thing just means following someone else's ideas.

And you followed your own.

I, um... hope you've come hungry.

I've... planned a rather full menu.

I'm always hungry.

This way.

Well, at least you're surrounded by your husband's things.

Keeps his memory alive, I imagine.

I suppose so, yes.

Having something to remember him by must be a great comfort.

Hmm?

Of course.

Well, you should have a token for yourself.

Oh, no. Selfish of me not to think of it.

Er... would you like his shaving bowl and brush?

Or...

..his candle snuffer?

No... no, no, no.

Er... I couldn't, er...

That must be worth 30 livres at least.

I should say so. It's solid gold. Hm.

I insist you have it.

Charles used it every day of his life.

I'd be honoured.

Leave justice to the courts.

You fought for this chance. Now fight to prove you're ready.

I am ready.

What? You have natural talent,

but too often you let your emotions run away with you.

Talent won't keep you alive if your heart rules your head.

Can we just get on with it?

My point in a nutshell.

I hear an ordinary prison isn't good enough for Labarge.

He's in the Bastille, living in comfort...

..his every whim attended to.

Imagine him there, living the life of a king.

A-A-Argh!

Every soldier has an Achilles heel. Control that, and you control the fight.

So, Labarge is in the Bastille, is he?

I was trying to provoke him.

You succeeded. Keep an eye on him.

Cardinal!

I wish to talk to you about Labarge. He destroyed my property and sold everything I own.

There are many claims against him. No doubt his trial will establish the truth of them.