In Memory of Me (In memoria di me)

IN MEMORIA DI ME IN

I need to have an ideal, a reason to live for.

I don't want to keep chasing after

the same freedom that everyone wants.

It's false.

It's false freedom.

What kind of life have you led up to now?

I have lived without depriving myself of anything.

I have loved.

And yet it seemed I wasn't getting anywhere,

that I had nothing more to give.

And my heart suffered.

But I buried it inside me without asking questions.

Anyway, for everyone else, I was a winner.

I started losing sleep because I was afraid

to look around and find nothing there.

I don't know why I started going to Mass

and reading the Gospel.

It's hard to explain, but...

a new way of being

occurred to me.

What do you want to become?

A person.

IN MEMORY OF MYSELF

Come in.

Please be seated.

Congratulations, you have passed a brief, but difficult test

of isolation over the last few days.

Tomorrow, you will encounter your personal silence...

Silence which sharpens discernment,

which will judge a vocation.

If there is one.

As you know, this is a period dedicated to spiritual training.

It is a question of turning perspectives around,

of changing the way you have looked at the world up to now.

To obtain this new perspective,

we must envelop ourselves in silence and prayer.

We are not accustomed to listening to the silence

which speaks deep within us.

Where God dwells.

The rules of the house serve this purpose.

You will learn this.

Some of them will perhaps surprise you.

They will challenge your way of thinking.

Your brothers will be looking out for you

as you should look out for them.

Indicating the shortcomings of a brother to the Father Superior

is an act of charity.

It is like self-denunciation, like confessing your own sins,

the dark side of yourself

which needs to be brought to the light.

Finally, do not forget that

while you are here to test the Order,

the Order will be testing you.

After you.

I would like to introduce our new brother, Andrea.

Come.

This is the community which is hosting you:

The retired Fathers,

the Father Superiors and your new companions.

With time, you will meet them all.

- Please be seated. - Thank you.

We thank you, Father, for the food that you have granted us.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

And these are our quarters.

Follow me.

You live here.

Have you met Fausto?

It's basic, but you'll find everything you need.

The Father Master asked me to help you with our daily schedule

at the start.

Anyway, it's the same everyday,

barring exceptions.

- Welcome. - Thank you.

I am sorry.

Hold this. You can fill up the bucket in the lavatory.

You can start with this part of the corridor.

Then remember to put it back in here.

When the bell rings, we start the meditations the Father Master gave us.

Yes, yes, thank you.

- He already gave them to me. - Good. See you later.

Leave it.

Come in.

"If anyone wants to be my follower, let him renounce himself,

take up his cross and follow me."

Man's secret yet constant thought is to save himself

to ensure a material existence which he is destined to lose.

This desperate, useless quest makes him self-centred.

Causes him to destroy himself and others.

True life, however, is loving Him who loved us first.

This is true life which will never die.

It's your turn, Fausto.

Mark 8, 31-35.

In reference to

De Rienzo's 34.

"If anyone wants to be my follower,

let him renounce himself, take up his cross and follow me."

Well...

This passage...

explains what it means to become a disciple of Jesus.

The key phrase is as follows:

"Anyone who wants to save his life, will lose it,

but anyone who loses his life for my sake and for the Gospel,

will save it".

Well,

the point is...

what is meant by life?

The...

term in the Greek text,

psyche,

corresponds to the Hebrew term

nephesh...

Let me start again.

The Greek term psyche, life,

corresponds to the Hebrew term nephesh, breath of life.

Therefore,

life is...

breath.

But also...

Personality, responsibility.

I'm sorry.

Well,

at the end of the day,

as usual,

we have come before the Lord to go over it with Him.

Let's attempt to go over the events which marked the day,

the encounters we've had.

We think back with gratitude on the gifts we've received.

We think back also on the moments when we forgot the Lord,

when we were concentrating only on ourselves.

Fausto...

"It is great not to be subject to a passion for things,

but it is far greater to remain impassive before their image."

Maximus the Confessor is telling us all that inflicts pain are images,

and therefore unreal.

When for example we go through states of anxiety and then it finally passes,

we say that it was nothing, nothing caused our anxiety.

It was only the appearance, not the reality of things.

Therefore I tell you that even if you are suffering,

learn not to let it show.

Train yourselves to remain impassive, to conceal your torments.

You will see that it will become an internal habit.

One day, in the desert of Egypt, a young man went to a monk

to ask if he could become his disciple.

The monk said that his first task would be to go up to some statues

and insult them.

And then go back to them to ask their forgiveness.

The young man went but when he came back to the monk he said:

"I have done what you told me, but the statues remained impassive".

And the monk answered: "Come back when you're like those statues".

Our aim is to become indifferent to everything.

We must not desire wealth over poverty,

health over illness,

success rather than scorn,

or a long life rather than a short one.

Those of us here,

strive only for what fulfils the aim for which we were created.

To resemble God.

We thank you, Lord, for the food...

Lord...

recognizing our own sins is greater than bringing a dead man to life.

He who weeps for an hour for himself

is greater than he who instructs the whole world.

He who recognizes his own weaknesses

is greater than he who sees an angel.

He who follows Christ in secret

is greater than he who enjoys much fame in church.

Nobody can recognize his own sins

without at the same time knowing God.

Not before, nor after.

At the very same instant.

The same identical intuition of grace.

We thank you, Lord,

for the food that you granted us again today

and that we ate in your presence.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me, Body of Christ, save me.

Blood of Christ, inebriate me, water from the Rib of Christ, cleanse me.

Passion of Christ, comfort me.

Good Lord, hear me hide me in your wounds.

Do not let me stray from You.

Defend me from my evil enemy and call me on my hour of death.

Let me come to You to praise You and all the Saints forever and ever.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me, Body of Christ, save me.

Blood of Christ...

Defend me from my evil enemy and call me on my hour of death.

Let me come to You to praise You and all the Saints forever and ever.

As you must have realized, one of your brothers has left us.

Serious family matters forced him to return home.

In the hope of his return one day,

let us pray to the Lord to accompany him in his trials.

We offer thanks to you, Lord Jesus.

Watch over us that we remain united in your name.

May you be blessed now and forevermore.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

- The doctor's here. - Thank you.

Father...

I'm sorry to bother you.

What is it?