Ernest Goes to Africa

Come on, man, come on!

Give me the bag and grab hold!

We made it, mate.

Who said, we, mate?

Ah!

Thompson!

Thompson!

Ernest!

Yes, sir, I'm coming.

Can't you just lift the steering wheel up?

It's at the wrong angle.

You said you could fix it.

Yes, ma'am.

See, this link's got to move.

See, your camrack is connected to your bandtrap.

And that makes likes the pressure in your gallywasher.

Of course, women seldom understand stuff like this.

What was that?

What was that?

Did you break something?

I paid a lot of money for this car.

You better not have broken anything.

Oh, no, ma'am.

These cars got a lot of stuff you don't even need.

I knew it!

You broke something.

You broke my new car!

I want to see the owner of this gas station.

Yeah, this oughta do it.

Well, at least I got rid of that excess pressure.

Whoah!

Oh!

Oh!

Hmm?

Excuse me, sir.

Your man out there, I brought my red Mustang in for him

to lift the steering wheel.

He's breaking pieces off of it.

Ahh!

Are you gonna come out there and sort it out?

- Of course. - Great.

I... I...

That was a close one.

Ernest, what's going on out here?

Ugh, not only is he trying to... to ruin my car,

he's also trying to a steal my pocketbook!

Look, there's my purse in his toolbox!

Ernest, get down from there right now.

Let go of that.

Ahh!

Ahh!

My car!

My beautiful, beautiful car.

No, no, no, just calm down, lady, calm down.

He'll pay for this, you'll see.

Ernest, you get out of this car this instant.

Yes, sir.

Ernest, you're fired.

Here you are, gentlemen.

Here are your eggs.

Can I get you some more coffee?

Hey, what gives here?

I ordered over-easy and runny. - Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

I just got confused.

Well, get unconfused, how about it?

All righty.

Be right back.

Excuse me.

What's bugging you, Rene?

It's not like you to make a mistake,

much less take a load of crap off a creep like him.

Well, I guess it's my dull miserable life.

Well, it's no need to sugarcoat it.

I tell you Betty, if my Mr.

Right came into my life right now, all this would change.

He'd be brave and daring, and he'd

take me on some dangerous mission laced

with international intrigue.

And I'd get all caught up in an adventure that

would perpetually pump up the adrenaline

and peel back the eyelids with fright.

Wouldn't that be neat?

You... you've been reading too many romance novels.

And then he'd save me from the clutches

of some horrible death, and we ride off into the sunset arm

in arm, just he and I. Oh, oh!

Send shivers down my spine!

Speaking of shivers, look who's here?

Hey girls! How you doing?

It's me! I'm here!

Doesn't that guy ever give up?

Ah, give him a break.

He's got such a crush on you.

Super.

It's all I need, some nerd like Ernest.

Just another small town guy stuck in the same rut I'm in.

Hey, look.

Check it out!

I call it the apricot smash.

Well, how about you, ladies?

Want a breath mint?

Ernest aren't you supposed to be at work at the gas station?

Nah, I quit that crummy job.

I told Mr. Ellis that my talents were being

wasted pumping self-serve...

That I had aspired to loftier visions of career.

You got fired.

Well, we had a pleasant parting.

But now I'm free to pursue my real ambitions.

Which is what?

Ernest, I got a customer.

I gotta go.

She's got you by the short hair, don't she?

Yeah, well, maybe.

But I haven't turned on the old Worrel charm

yet, know what I mean?

Unfortunately, I do.

Let me give you a little advice.

See, Rene is really down right now.

Short of Illinois Smith, I think a little gift might help.

But what about the old Worrel charm?

Maybe two little gifts?

Yeah, two gifts.

Hey, don't touch.

Get out.

MAN Don't come near my stall.

- What's that? - Hey!

Ow!

Hmm?

Oh!

Huh?

Can I help you, sir?

Oh, yeah.

I was just, uh, looking for something for my girl.

You like that item, sir?

Yeah, I'm, uh, kind of stuck on it.

Most people are.

It's a very popular item.

That would be $40.

$40?

For this little birdhouse?

You don't like it, you can put it back.

No, I'm taking it all right.

In fact, I'm...

I'm kind of attached to it.

$40?

$40.

There you go.

[MUSIC PLAYING

Oh!

Watch out!

Oh!

What are you doing?

Hey, watch it!

There's a mad man.

Hey, don't you mess with me, boy!

Excuse me!

Whoah!

Ah!

Ah!

Ah!

What you want, I do not take!

- Okay, where are they? - Where are what?

I know nothing.

Ah!

Give us the eyes of Egoli or we'll

pick through your body to find them with a pair of pliers.

Ooh, what the eyes of Egoli?

I know nothing about this.

Ah!

Ah!

Abdul Kazim has instructed us to bring him the eyes of Egoli

or the eyes of the thief.

Maybe Abdul Kazim should pluck his own eyes out,

since he stole the eyes of Egoli to start with.

Oh, don't mind us, please continue.

I find this sport rather amusing.

Thank you, Bazoo.

Really balletic.

Oh, thank you, thank you, sir.

You have saved my unworthy skin.

I never dreamed I would be rescued.

You are so right.

I'm the man of your dreams.

Ooh, this is some really neat stuff.

Yeah.

I can work with these.

We have taken over your planet.

You looking for the man in the funny hat?

He went that way officer.

Uh oh.

Hey, you, stop!

Uh oh.

Ahh!

Ahh!

Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Rabaz, I didn't

realize that you weren't fond of our caped necked friend.

What?

Are you a crazy man?

Oh no.