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Lara! My dad's back.

Hi, Mr Boback!

Mum, do you want to do something today?

What? Something, anything.

I've got too much to do.

Chla what?

Chlamydia. You'll need to contact your sexual partners

and inform them. Partners?

It's over. Oh, come on, let's just have a little,

like, a little goodbye fiddle.

Goodbye, Dom.

Hello, again. Wednesday afternoon, amusement park.

Sorry, who are you?

You have a bite mark. No! No.

It's on your shoulder. Isn't it... Oi, oi, oi, oi!

Get out of here, you little shit.

I'll be in touch.

PHONE RINGS

Hi.

Where are you?

Yeah, I'm at the school morning meeting.

Oh. Listen, I can't find Phoebe's karate kit.

Look in her room.

I did.

Look, are you OK?

About today? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

I just... It's just a day.

I'm afraid I have a migraine, you're going to have to go alone.

What?

Take a Nurofen.

It's a migraine.

Then we won't go. We can all go another day.

No, Caroline. The whole point is it's today,

to take her mind off the anniversary.

We need to get her out of town, away from it all.

At any rate, it'll be good for you

and Miri to spend some time together.

Your headache might clear up in a minute.

It's not a headache, Caroline.

SHE SCREAMS

Hiya, hi, babe. Hiya.

Yeah, I'm just thinking, I think the, um,

karate kit's in the airing cupboard, yeah.

Which one is she again?

Your father's aunt. Thought she'd died.

No, she refuses to. Old cunt.

But she's family, so you visit.

Like we visited you in...that place.

You can say cunt, but you can't say prison.

It's extremely rare for me to use the cunt word and I only do

so with regard to absolute cunts.

It's a lovely drive and...we're going to have fun.

Feels fun.

Fifth of November.

It's a beautiful day.

Exciting.

Shark, shark, shark, shark, shark, shark...Mum, you have to say attack.

Attack.

No, at the same time as me.

So, shark, shark, shark, shark, shark...

You're not saying it. So, you say attack, then I have to try

and guess when you're going to say it and say it before you.

Attack, attack, attack, attack, attack... No.

..stupid game.

When we get home, I'll make you play ping pong door ways.

What on Earth is that?

We used to make up lots of silly games in prison, to pass the time.

There is a lot of time.

You get quite creative.

Do you know that I can make a banoffee pie in a kettle?

Yeah. It's actually rather good, I'll, I'll make it for you

and Dad one day.

There's a good hairdresser in Petworth.

Maybe we could stop off and see if they can fit you in.

Wow.

You could have some highlights, it might make you feel better.

No, it might make you feel better. That stuff doesn't matter

to me, you know that. Just a thought.

We humans have creative software in our brain, so neuro.

I want to listen to The Archers. No, let's just talk.

About what? Anything, something, we know nothing about each other.

We were talking and we finished.

OK, brilliant. Three hour drive.

Hooray!

Ooh.

Fuck you, Caroline.

DOORBELL RINGS

What are you doing?

Sh, I'm trying to enjoy this very comfortable silence.

You're bring childish.

Sh! That's talking.

Look, what do you want me to say?

I wake up, I eat porridge, your father goes on about something.

This morning it was seven types of plastic.

Why are you getting at me?

I just wanted to take you out for a nice day.

RADIO PLAYS Mum, Mum, Mum, Mum! Shit!

Oh, what was that? Oh!

Oh, Jesus!

Mr Matteson, I'm from Pilot Power. I need to check your meter.

Oh, somebody came a few days ago.

I know.

But they gave an odd reading and so I'm following up.

Don't want an astronomical bill.

That would be very unlikely.

I have the energy efficiency of this house entirely under control.

May I just say that your recycling system out in front here...

..is exemplary.

Um, thank you.

Yes. If everyone put in the time you do,

there'd be a lot more polar bears.

It's the least a human can do.

Did you know that teabags are not compostable?

And that certain brands, they use synthetic...

Synthetic fibres, yes.

I learnt the hard way. All those bags toxifying my compost bins.

Oh, don't go there.

You are a leader of men.

A Viking.

It would be an honour to check the house of a hero.

Uh, of course. Yes? Oh, yes, come in.

OK. Exemplary.

Oh, shit, poor thing.

Oh, Christ.

Oh, I think it's dead.

The car. Oh, the car. Is it dead?

Oscar will be furious. I think it's mostly dead.

Oh, God, it blinked. How are we going to get there?

Oh, no, it's still breathing. It's like 99% dead.

If we're late, she's going to be such an old bag about it.

Mum, we have to do something about it. It's in pain.

Oh, God.

Put it out of its misery.

Oh, I can't. You do it.

You do it.

What?

Nothing. I didn't say anything.

You so did.

Well, I didn't mean. What, I've killed before, so I can kill again?

Oh, don't be so silly.

You're my mother. You're supposed to be on my side, not looking at me

like I'm some kind of cold blooded...

..bloody! Oh, shit!

Well, now it's dead.

It was in pain.

Ugh, I can taste it. No, you can't.

Leave it. No. Look, come on, we'll be late.

No, we're not leaving it in the road.

What are you doing?

I'm burying it. Help me.

No.

Bloody filthy.

Oh, no.

I'm killing it even more.

Sorry, little fox.

I've never done that before.

Killed something.

It was the right thing to do.

Yes, but... Foxes are bastards anyway,

they steal babies from bungalows and chickens and stuff.

OK, Mum, let's go and sort out the car.

# The day thou gav'est Lord is ended

# The darkness falls at thy behest

# To thee a morning him ascendeth

# And pray shall sanctify our rest... #

Ey, ey, ey.

What is it?

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick and...

..that is faster than it should be.

Well, it's always like that. No. No.

There is energy being wasted somewhere in this house.

No, absolutely not. I am vigilant.

PHONE BEEPS

Oh, is, is that you?

No, it's my wife's.

That is not a Viking's phone.

I would like to check all your power points and appliances.

Mr Matteson, don't worry.

This will take a few hours,

but I promise, I will get to the bottom of this.

MUSIC PLAYS

Maybe it's in the car and it fell out of your pocket.

I don't wear things with pockets.

I've never worn anything with pockets.

What's wrong with pockets? Hips, Miri.

Oh, God, where is it?

Well, it's fine. we'll just, there's a... It isn't fine.

Nothing is fine. Oh, my God. Is this about pockets again?

I had it in my hand.

Well, you probably left it at home. I didn't.

I know I didn't. Oh, Christ, maybe I did.

Oh, shit.

Mum, what you doing?

I'm sitting down.

OK, look I'm going to go to the payphone

and I'm going to call the breakdown people, all right?

I'm sure I had it.

Oh, for fuck's sake. why is everyone so obsessed with their phones?

I need to talk to Miri.

Who are you?