I Love You - A Divorce Comedy (Jag älskar dig - En skilsmässokomedi)

I

LOVE

YOU

–You don't listen. –What are you saying?

–We're going out to eat. –I just need to finish writing this.

–It's going so well. Please. –So what are you writing?

That you're the world's most beautiful woman.

You thought I should have this. This lovely plastic ring.

The world's most expensive plastic ring.

I don't believe you. Do you love me?

–I love you. God, no! –Louder! Louder!

I love you!

18 YEARS LATER

–You don't have the sole tonight? –No, I'm afraid not.

–What am I going to order then? –Well, just order something else.

Did I tell you? We're moving to Italy.

–Wow! Really! –To Italy?

Estelle has always dreamed of living in Italy.

I want to make her happy.

I can't remember last time Gustaf and I travelled by ourselves.

Would you like to order?

–What's the halibut served with? –Shallots and spinach tossed in butter.

Shallots is hard to digest and spinach gets stuck in my teeth.

–Do you have mashed potatoes? –Of course.

–The halibut with mashed potatoes, then. –The beef tenderloin, please.

–How would you like your meat cooked? –Medium.

–We'll have two foie gras, please. –Very good.

Thank you.

You dyed your hair? It looks great.

–Thank you. –Have you dyed your hair?

–Yes, two weeks ago. –Yes... Cheers!

A toast for us getting together like this. And congratulations on your engagement.

Do you have any idea what hair colour I had before I dyed it?

Where in Italy are you planning to live? Down south, perhaps?

– Do you even know the colour of my eyes? – Tuscany. It's so beautiful there.

– Don't you think? – No, so you've no idea.

–Gustaf bought support stockings. –It's for when I fly.

–It's good for the circulation. –One wonders how old you are...

–Let us drink now, shall we? –Yes, very good idea.

A toast to all the wonderful years ahead of us.

Cheers. You get a toast as well.

I LOVE YOU

Marianne.

I'll take the long loop.

–Gustaf, we need to talk. –Mm.

I want a divorce.

Sorry. Are you going somewhere?

I don't love you anymore and I want a divorce.

–But we have dinner plans. –What?

Marianne? Are you serious?

You can't just wake up on a Sunday morning and say you want a divorce.

–Why not? –Because you just don't do that.

–Really. –Marianne, please.

Have you lost your mind? We have Sunday dinner at my parents'.

–I have a taxi waiting. –Taxi?

I'm so sorry, Gustaf.

–Excuse me. –Yes.

–What have I done? –Done? You can't think like that.

This is all good. You shouldn't be sad now.

You've talked of this for a long time. And now you've finally done it.

I'm proud of you.

This is the worst thing I've done in my whole life.

–I want to throw up. –You know what we should do?

–We should celebrate. –Celebrate...?

Yes, you're very brave. You've taken charge of your own life. It's wonderful.

–I'm a terrible person. –Stop it!

Let's do this. You follow my lead for the next few weeks.

So you get a chance to live a little. You can live here.

– It's no mansion, but it will be fun. – Thanks.

Here's an 82 vintage. I was thinking of saving it for my 40th birthday...

–40? –Let's not talk about me.

Let's toast to a woman who has given herself the chance –

– to live life to its fullest. I'm so happy for you.

Congratulations. Here.

Isn't it good?

"Congratulations", I'm not so sure...

– Hello, dad. – Where is Marianne?

She felt a little under the weather. But she sends her regards.

Gustaf and the children are here.

Marianne felt a little under the weather.

Thank you, I'm not deaf!

–Isn't Marianne feeling well? –Yes, she must have caught something.

–I hope it's nothing serious. –No.

Hi!

–Hey, bro. –So... Where is Marianne?

–Or did she leave you finally? –No.

I'm going to shoot myself soon.

Those are for everybody. That's enough.

You damn little...

My little darling.

You're warm. Sweetie, are you not feeling well?

–He's not all well that's for sure. –I think you're coming down with a cold.

Well... you may call me old–fashioned for all you want.

But traditions are important for a family's unity.

Marriage can be quite challenging.

Nils, you know what I'm talking about.

Thank you, dad.

And you, Inga... Well, we'll deal with you another time.

Please Inga, don't be so darn sensitive.

You can't give up too easily. You have to stay strong, hold on –

when the storm comes.

Because, if there's love, there's...

A toast to –

– us celebrating our golden wedding anniversary in two weeks.

–Cheers to love! –Cheers!

–Please, bro...! –What was I thinking? Cheers.

–Why did you say mom was sick? –So grandma and grandpa wouldn't be upset.

–Why did you lie? –I didn't lie, she isn't feeling well.

– But she's not sick. – She's definitely a little tired.

–Are you getting a divorce? –Most definitely not. Not at all.

Mom is just a little tired and needs a break.

Then she'll come back and everything will normal again.

Do you really believe that?

–Ulrika street 11, please. –Ok.

Wouldn't it be better if I just finished these?

God, the dress fits you perfectly. You look great.

–You need to get laid right away. –What?

Get laid. You need to get out there right away.

I'm still married. Hello, married!

I'm at least not in any... to just get out there.

Come on, you look hot. It will be a fun night.

No, I absolutely cannot go out tonight. No way.

–Doesn't anybody have a family? –Isn't great?

These are so strong. What's in them?

Well, hello there...

–How are you? –Great to see you.

–You still live in Mallorca? –Yes, of course.

–You should visit sometime. –I just might do that.

Ciao. Bye.

He is such a creep. Anybody, but him.

–Anybody but him what? –That you should sleep with tonight.

–I'm not sleeping with anybody. –Come now!

–I love this song! –Yes, it's really terrific.

I'm not feeling so good.

Hey!

Hello.

Hot.

Ok...

–No. I meant you're hot. –What? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought...

... you meant Camilla, so I ...

–Relax. –Yes...

I just got a little... Yes...

Well. Ok, thank you.

–Come on, let's get out of here. –What? Get out of here?

–You and me. Come on. –No, we can't...

–No, but really. –What was that?

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.

No, that's really not... I'm sure it will come out in the wash.

–Just leave everything. –Get up!

–How embarrassing, Camilla! –Don't be silly.

Take my keys, I'll sleep at Roffe's tonight.

–Roffe? Who is he? –My new boyfriend. Here.

–What ever happened to... –Carl–Henrik? He was such a stiff.

Listen, drink some water. Put your leg inside.

–We'll talk in the morning. Yes, I know. –I had a wonderful time, Camilla!

What should I tell the children? That their mother lost her mind?

I'm sure they'll survive a few days with their father.

Where are you staying?

I'm staying at Camilla's place. Where else would I stay?

–At Camilla's?! –Why can't you just listen to me?

Stop acting like a kid!

–Did Camilla put you up to this nonsense? –Don't you blame Camilla.

She's been very considerate.

You can't leave your family on an impulse. It's embarrassing.

I'm leaving you. Not the children.

You're just having a completely normal mid–life crisis.

It will pass. I read that in the Financial Times.

It sounds like you're talking about a dog being put to sleep.

This is our marriage we're talking about.

–Have you met somebody? –No, I have not.

You should know me better than that! Oh, mother of God!

Why did you hang up?

What the hell are you doing?

Filip? Are you insane?

Hey, you...

–Dad, this is my boyfriend. –Yes, hello. Gustaf Brandel.

–Gurra. –What?

Gurra. My friend's name is Gustaf, but we call him Gurra.

Really? How nice.

–So what's your name? –Fabbe.

Or Fabian Love Wachtmeister, if you want to see ID, man.

–You can't only drink chocolate milk. –I'm not hungry.

–Have a sandwich at least, Filip. –Are you deaf? I'm not hungry!

Really? How nice.

–Did you have that made recently? –Yeah, shit, this one?

I had it made the other day.

–It comes from right here, man. –It's so incredibly honest.

–It's important to be honest. –Right, dad?

Oh yes, absolutely.

Well? So... where do you go to school?

I dropped out in high school. Listen, here's my philosophy:

"School ain't for me." Life is my school, man.

–Really? So you work then? –You could say that.

–Nepal. –I beg your pardon?

Dad, we've got to go. We're meeting some of Fabbe's friends.

–Don't you have school? –No, we have field day.

–Have a nice day, Gurra. See ya. –My name is Gustaf.

Filip, take a banana with you. Emma, could you come back?

–Isn't he the coolest? –Oh, yes...

Could I have some money?