South Park

# I'm going down to South Park #

# Gonna have myself a time #

# Friendly faces everywhere #

# Humble folks without temptation #

# Going down to South Park #

# Gonna leave my woes behind #

# Ample parking day or night #

# People spouting "howdy neighbor" #

# Headed on up to South Park #

# Gonna see if I can't unwind #

# Come on down to South Park #

# And meet some friends of mine #

Okay, children, let's all take our seats.

Before we get started today

Wendy Testaburger has asked

to share something with the class.

Wendy?

Thank you, Mr. Garrison.

Fellow students, October is awareness month

for one of the leading causes of death in women--

a terrible disease that takes the lives

of American women every day.

I'm talking, of course, about breast cancer.

an estimated one in six women

will deal with cancer in their lifetime,

and breast cancer is the most--

She said it again!

Is there a problem?!

Because breast cancer isn't funny.

Breast cancer is killing people.

Mr. Garrison, do we really need all this

potty talk in the classroom?

Eric, for the love of Jesus...

This is a serious issue, Eric!

What you're doing is very offensive!

Me?

You're the one talking about killer titties.

Watch out, guys, Wendy says boobs can kill people.

"Rarrrg!

Gonna get you! Gonna get you, Wendy!"

I don't wanna get killed by boobs!

Will somebody do something?

Every week he gets worse and nobody does anything!

Eric, stop being offensive.

I'm just trying to engage Wendy

in a constructive dialogue about

breast-cancer awareness, Mr. Garrison.

No, you aren't!

Wendy, you need to calm down.

You're gonna get your boobs all angry

and they're gonna start killing everyone.

Dude, I'm on fire today!

Look out, everyone!

There's some killer titties on the loose!

Coulda swore I heard 'em comin' though the roof!

Pssh-- officer, we need to get an A.P.B. out

on those titties!

They're armed and dangerous!

What is your problem?

Breast cancer isn't funny!

Not at all.

"Wendy, we're gonna get you, Wendy.

We're your boobs, we're gonna kill you!"

You better shut up, or I'll make you shut up.

Oh, really?

What are you gonna do about it, Wendy?

I'm gonna kick your ass, that's what I'm gonna do!

Ha-ha, you're gonna kick my ass?

That's right, I'm gonna kick your ass!

You wanna throw down, dawg?

I'll throw down!

You think you're tough?!

What's up? What's up?

I'll smack the shit out of you!

I'm standing right here! Let's go, bitch.

After school.

We fight after school, you got that?!

You're gonna fight me after school?

That's right!

You're a chick, dude.

As soon as that bell rings

we do it outside, you got that?!

And you better be there.

Oh, it's on, bitch.

You're gonna fucking die!

Wendy and Eric are fighting after school!

Hey, everybody!

Wendy and Eric are fighting after school!

- What? - Wow!

Wendy and Cartman are gonna fight after school!

- Really?! - Oh, wow!

Wendy and Cartman are fighting after school.

Yay!

Hey, emo kids, Cartman and Wendy are gonna fight after school.

Did she just call us emos?

Jeez, I can't believe

Wendy's gonna fight you after school!

She is pissed off.

She's not gonna show up to a fight, dawg.

I'm sure she's already trying to figure a way to get out of it.

Hey, check it out,

she's totally staring you down.

She sure seems confident.

You should probably go easy on her, dude.

You don't wanna put her in the hospital or anything.

Yeah, I'm just gonna teach her a lesson.

I'm not gonna totally kick her ass.

Can't go too easy on her, though.

God forbid, she actually gets in a g-good punch and beats you.

Yeah, if you got beat up by a girl,

everyone would think you were a faggot.

Wendy, could I talk to you for a second?

What?

Wendy, I want to apologize

and, um, tell you that--

What?

I want to apologize and tell you that

I'm sorry for what I said, okay?

It was wrong of me,

and I promise you that it won't happen again.

I don't wanna fight you after school, all right?

So I'm sorry.

If you're really sorry,

you can say it in front of everyone.

Actually, I was thinking,

let's just keep this between us.

I was wrong to make fun of breast cancer

and I'm very "remorsefulness."

No!

If you're really sorry

and you wanna apologize to me,

then do it in front of everyone.

Pfft! Apologize?!

That's not what I said, you dumb bitch!

Ha-ha, ha-ha!

Yes, you did!

You just stood there and said you apologize

and you don't wanna fight!

Oh, Wendy,

such a desperate attempt to get out of it.

These students are a little too smart

to see you're just making excuses not to fight me.

I don't want an excuse.

I'm going to beat the fucking shit out of you!

Ho... ha... That's funny.

You're gonna die, you... lesbo.

Wendy, seriously, though,

I do want to apologize.

I'm really sorry,

and I don't think we should fight.

Get away from me!

So everyone's saying there's gonna be a fight

between Eric Cartman and your girlfriend.

I guess so.

And you're gonna just let that guy

beat up on your woman?

Doesn't that like go against your

jock-y man code or something?

Yeah, I don't ever remember AC/DC singing about

letting dudes beat up on their girlfriends.

What am I supposed to do about it?

Don't worry, Stan.

I don't think the fight's even gonna happen.

Cartman said that Wendy's already

begging him to call it off.

I'll bet she is.

I hope not!

I wanna see Eric kick the crap out of her!

Wendy, Wendy-- pssst.

What?

Just real quick, just-- pssst-- real quick.

Wendy, you're not gonna believe this.

I just found out my Mom has breast cancer.

Man, I sure got what was coming to me.

I was a real jerk

and now they're gonna cut off my Mom's boobs.

You really think that's gonna work on me?

Wendy, I have here $27 in cash.

If you just call off the fight, then i--

you can't bribe your way out of this.

Wendy, I have muscular dystrophy.

No, you don't.

My Mom has muscular dystrophy...

in her boobs.

You don't get it, asshole!

There is nothing you can do to stop this fight.

I am going to wipe the playground with you

right in front of everyone!

I am going to shove your ass down your throat

and make you eat your underwear!

Eat my underwear?

That's right!

Okay.

Okay, Wendy, I will eat my underwear

right here, right now.

Jesus Christ, do you have no sense of self-respect?!

No, unless you want me to?

Do you want me to have self-respect, then I will.

You fucking suck so hard!

I'll eat my underwear, Wendy,