Married to the Mob

-He's gonna miss his train, Frank. -Tommy, don't worry, he'll be here.

I'm sorry you couldn't come over for dinner.

-What dinner? -Last night.

Rose talked to Angie. She said you guys were busy.

She never mentioned that to me. We were home, watching TV.

You missed a good dinner, Frank.

I don't know what's wrong with Angela lately. I'll talk to her.

Right on time.

I love you.

-How do these people do it every day? -It's like fucking sardines.

I tell you what, Angela. It all boils down to good follicles.

You've been blessed. One head in a million.

I ran into her at Foodtown.

-I invited her over for dinner. -Yeah?

But Angela says they're busy.

Then, this morning, Tommy was talking to Frankie.

-Turns out they were home last night. -Stop.

Frankie didn't know about it. She never told her own husband.

Who does she think she is?

Mrs. D, you don't like it?

No, it's not the cut.

Thanks, Ray.

-Connie. -Hey, doll. How are you?

Look at you. A redhead. You look gorgeous.

-Angela. How are you doing, kiddo? -Okay. How you doing?

You know me. Always looking for action.

-You look terrific. -Thanks.

-Frank better keep an eye on you. -Yeah, right.

You coming to the card game tonight? We haven't seen you in an age.

I gotta help Joey with his homework. He's having trouble in school.

Of course he is. He hangs out with Tony Junior.

These boys will never be Einstein. Come over tonight.

I really can't. I gotta go. I'm sorry.

Have a great time. It was great to see you guys.

Bye. Take care.

That bitch. She thinks her shit don't stink.

I have three cards. One red, you can take all my bread,

and two blacks, that'll set you back.

Watch it, chase it, see where I place it.

-It's right here. -It's right here. That's it.

Give me five and you win ten.

-Gee, I could've sworn, girls. -Tough luck. Try again.

Hey. What's going on here?

-Hi, Mrs. de Marco. -Hi, Tara.

Nothing, Ma. We're just playing.

-You playing for money? -No, we were just playing for fun. Right?

I want all of you to go home. Joseph Francis, I'll talk to you inside.

I'll be right in, Ma.

-Hi, hon. -Hey, babe.

-Going out tonight? -Yeah, Tony called a meeting.

-You playing cards at Connie's tonight? -No. What are you lookin' for?

Why not?

I don't feel like it.

When the boss's wife asks you to play cards, you go.

I don't have to jump every time Connie or Tony snaps their fingers.

What's wrong with you lately? All the other guys' wives get along.

Tommy and Rose invite us to dinner. You lie to them, you don't tell me about it.

They were your friends. Now you can't stand them?

How am I supposed to get ahead in the family?

The same way you always have. Lie, cheat, steal, kill.

It's very funny. You're a comedian now?

I should get you on fucking Star Search.

I have to go to the bathroom.

Hey, hey, hey, come here.

I do not want you taking money from those kids anymore.

It was Tony Junior's idea.

Does that make it okay? You can't think for yourself?

-You playing three-card monte again? -Yeah.

-How much did you take from them? -Twelve bucks.

-Not bad. -Thanks, Dad.

Thanks, Frankie. I'm trying to teach him something.

He's only a kid.

-What are you looking for? -Where is my revolver?

Jesus!

-Here, Dad. -Give me that.

-Go to your room. -Come on, Lucky.

Thank you, Joey.

That's great, Frank. That's really great.

It's not loaded.

-I can't believe it. -I'll keep it locked up from now on.

It's not just the gun. It's everything.

It's this whole life.

Your life is so bad?

You have a beautiful house, plenty of money, a great kid, a loving husband.

-What more do you want? -I want a normal life.

I'm sick of the gambling, the guns,

bailing you outta jail, never knowing when or if you're gonna come home.

Look at this place. Everything we wear and everything we own fell off a truck.

Take it easy, baby. I don't think you're making much sense.

When I look at this house, I see beautiful furnishings.

In Joey's room I see all the things we give him.

Things you and I never had when we was growing up.

Don't you get it? Everything has blood on it.

I don't have to listen to this garbage.

-Neither do I. -Oh no?

-What are you gonna do about it? -I want a divorce.

Listen to Dr. de Marco for just a second, darling.

You go upstairs, you take a Valium.

You lie down, relax. You'll feel a lot better.

I love you.

What have we here?

It's Nick "The Snake" and his two nephews, Al "The Worm" and...

Don't tell me. Vinnie "The Slug."

Your common, garden-variety hoodlums.

And speak of the devil, "Cucumber" Frank de Marco.

Bang.

The gang's all here, Mike.

Everyone except Tony "The Tiger" Russo.

Here's Tony

"The Tiger"

And I don't mind telling you folks

From this mike here

It's Tony, hey, Tony, no phony baloney

"The Tiger"

He's the paisan the sun always shines on

He's Tony "The Tiger"

-Excuse me, Mr. Russo. -Sure.

-John. -Tony.

-The Château Lichine is coming in. -It's pre-Chernobyl, I hope.

-Hey, fellas! -Tony!

Butch. Nick.

Tom? Some glasses and an order for you.

-Tony. -Frank.

-How's Angela and the kid? -They're both very good. Thank you.

-I've got something for you here. -Thanks very much, Tony.

That was a great job you did on the train.

It was a beautiful ride, Tony.

Take care of the guys upstairs. I'll be right up.

Table for two, gentlemen? This way, please.

-My God. It's beautiful. -You're beautiful.

I'll have to do something very special for you tonight.

You twisted my arm. The Fantasia.

-Our old room. 17. -Room 17.

-Twelve past ten. -Ten past.

Yeah, ten past twelve.

2:00 am. Quitting time.

But you did miss a good dinner.

-You know Rosie's Chicken Francese? -With the ricotta?

Shells with sauce. Cannoli afterwards.

-Are you staying? -I'm gonna take a bath before I go.

Is something wrong?

Yeah.

You shouldn't smoke in bed. You're gonna start a fire.

It's a water bed.

I gotta go. Gimme a kiss.

-Thanks. -Forget about it.

You go straight home now, lollipop.

Frank?

You're early.

Put this over there.

Karen?

Karen?

Karen.

Save me some soap,

because I'm feeling extra dirty tonight.

I had no idea you was putting the stones to Karen.

It's checkout time, Frankie.

Tony, this blows my mind.

-I loved you like a father. -You disappointed the shit out of me.

Go away.

Downey.

I'm there.

-Special Agent Downey, FBI. -Let him by.

Yesterday "The Fat Man" buys a one-way ticket on the Long Island train.

19 hours later, "Cucumber" Frank de Marco takes a bath.

I'm no mathematician but it looks like payback time.

Excuse me, gentlemen. The place is clean.

I don't know, sir. Doesn't add up.

Here you go.

You got a better make on it?

The late Karen Lutnick was Tony Russo's girlfriend.

No shit.

Maybe Frank was indiscreet. They don't call him "The Cucumber" for nothing.

Karen was a real dish.

Tony finds out Frank's eating off his plate.

Tony's got a temper. A man gets angry, he gets sloppy.

Maybe "The Tiger" did it himself.

-That's murder one. -Two counts. We could hang him.

Put me back on 24-hour surveillance.

I'll nail Tony for the murders of Frank and Karen.

Let us pray for our brother to our Lord Jesus Christ, who said,

"I am the resurrection and the life.

"The man who believes in me will live even if he dies."

Frank. My baby.

Such a good boy.

We commend our brother to the Lord.

May the Lord receive him into his peace

and raise up his body on the last day. Amen.

Frank. I'm coming with you.

Mamma, no. Mamma!

They found them in the tub, naked.

-What goes around comes around. -Here she comes.

-You don't have to clean up. -Angela, just be quiet.

-Thanks, you guys. I appreciate this. -What are friends for?

And we are your friends, whether you like it or not.

I'm gonna go check on my mother-in-law.

Poor kid. She's been through a lot.

-You liar. -No, it's true.

-Liar! -No, it's true!

Give him a shot.