Transparent

Josh.

Hey, Colton.

You good?

- Yeah. How are you? - Uh, good.

Come on in. Can't believe you drove all the way out here just to see me.

Can I get you a drink, or did you wanna see the...

- Um, I'm okay. - Sure, sure.

Living room, dining room.

Uh, show you the kitchen real quick.

Blossie's a great cook.

This is where I do most of my cooking.

In the microwave.

Um, this is where we eat breakfast every morning.

Was Fussypuss touring? Told all my friends about them.

- Oh, you did? - Yeah.

- That's cool. - Yeah.

- Thanks, man. - I'm gonna get you some water.

So I have something I need to tell you.

Okay.

Um...

- And I, um... - Hey, Josh.

Don't worry about me holding a grudge or anything like that.

You know, I... I prayed a lot,

and I worked through a lot of feelings when I got back...

everything that happened, you know, with me and you

and Rabbi Raquel and... and Rita, you know?

Rita died.

God, this place, it depresses me.

It's a good thing you're doing.

You have to show up for people.

Yes, well, I've not always done that,

as Bryna will tell you, repeatedly.

Well, if you're very good, you can buy me a drink later.

Oh, I'll buy you many drinks.

Come in.

Hi, Bry.

- How is she? - They just moved her in here this morning.

- She's been sleeping. - All right.

- Oh, um... - Hi, I'm Vicki.

- Hello. - Hi.

Hey, Mom, it's Maura.

I'm here with Bryna and Vicki.

Hi, Rose!

Oh! A royal flush!

Jeez, it's about time!

Oh. Hmm.

That's great.

Yeah.

So this is what it all comes down to.

If we're lucky.

Um, are either of you hungry?

I've got some leftover Chinese at my place.

- I could heat that up. - Right?

Oh, um, I don't think so.

We were gonna stop at the Elephant Cafe.

- You're more than welcome to come. - No. That's silly.

- Why would you do that? - Yeah?

Yeah. Waste $50?

Come on. You could help me carry these things back.

- Help me over here? - Um...

- Yeah. - Okay.

- Should I help? - Mm-hmm. Sure.

It's the boxes here.

- Alley-oop. There you go. Two! - Oh, God!

You did that really well. My turn. Come on.

All right, here we go.

- Hell, no. - It's cute.

Yeah? Are you loving my Haggadah?

Mid-City can suck it.

- No, it can't. - This Seder is going to kick ass.

- I did such a good job. - I know.

All right.

- Have you fucked him yet? - Oh, my.

Come on.

- Come on. Have you? - No.

- You like him? - No, I...

Come on, you cannot tell me you don't have something going with him.

I see his widow pheromones spraying all over you.

- He's way too sweet for me. - What?

No, he's like... He's a very, very, very good person.

It's... He's too sweet.

Oh, are you afraid you can't get a hard-on for that sweetness?

Come on, you need to bone him, Raquel.

Sarah...

What?

You're in this galaxy called Kronos,

and everyone is working collectively,

and everyone chooses, like, a particular, like, avatar,

like, a mythical creature. You know, like, I'm a wizard,

and this guy I was playing with the other day, he was a dragon.

But why does he get to be the dragon?

Oh, I would never be the dragon.

- No? - No.

- So the dragon's uncool? - No, it's just that

I've always preferred to be the wizard.

- Yeah, well, of course. - Cheers.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- I have a question. - Yes.

Um, Mom, did she... Has she written anything down

- about her wishes or anything? - No.

- We're not getting anything. - That's not the question.

- Listen to me. - There's no money.

But I thought Grandma Rose was giving me the stamp collection.

If she said so, she said so.

I'm happy to hear the younger generation is interested in "phile-ately."

- It's "Phil-at-ely." - Philately?

- It's philately. - It's not.

- It's philate... - It's "phi-lately."

- It is? - You don't know what it is.

I do, it's stamps. It's about stamps. It's collecting...

Oh, my gosh, I went to school, you know.

Do you need help with money?

- 'Cause I'm here to help. - Where were you 15 years ago?

Wow.

Why don't you get off this endless martyr thing?

- Doesn't that get tiring? - Yeah. Why don't I become more like you?

Send out emails begging for organic food

- while I'm recovering from my plastic surgery. - Scooch in.

- Can I ask you a personal question, Vicki? - Sure. Yeah.

Did you send out those emails when you had your sex change?

- Jesus Christ. - What?

I'm not trans.

Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, forgive me.

I thought maybe that's what the two of you saw in each other.

Well, I feel like a fool.

Oh, God.

You still laughing about the sex change?

No, she thought I was trans.

Oh.

- Oh, my God. - What if you were?

Well, you know, there's actually, like, a tree in Scotland

that's in the middle of changing its sex,

like, right now.

The only operation I've ever had was my double mastectomy.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I've had a lumpectomy.

Turned out everything was benign,

but the waiting was a nightmare.

Can't imagine what you went through.

Well, I thought I might have reconstruction,

but I didn't want to go under again.

You hear that?

Dear Jesus, we pray

that Rita's soul is with you right now,

and that in between the time she jumped and hit the shopping mall floor,

she realized her mistake and took you into her heart.

- Amen. - Amen.

She didn't jump. It was an accident.

- That's right. - Uh, Colton...

only God and Rita really know what happened, son.

But if she jumped, then she's not gonna get into heaven.

Hey, nobody's saying that she did it on purpose, okay?

- Well, uh... - Buddy? Hey, hey.

I saw her a couple days before the accident. Everything was good.

She was juicing. Her meds were adjusted.

Every morning, she told me how happy I made her.

That's true. Hey, I know...

I know what you're feeling right now, believe me.

- I want her to get into heaven. - You didn't...

- She's going to heaven. - How do you know?

I just do.

Josh, we're just so happy you could be here

- with Colton. - It's a lovely thing.

Hey, buddy?

So when I was cleaning out her apartment, um, I found this.

And I thought, you know, you should have something of hers.

I didn't know Rita was a hippie.

I thought Rita was a dog walker.

You know, Colton is preaching now.

Yeah, Rita and I,

- we watched the video together. - You did?

- Mm-hmm. - What did she think?

She loved it. I mean, she said it was awesome.

I thought it was awesome.

Well, of course she did... of course they did,

'cause Colton's got the gift.

- Just like Gene. - Mmm.

You know, Blossie, any preacher

is just a vessel for the Lord.

But you know, Josh, seeing Colton preach in person

is so much more powerful.

Oh, I'm still learning.

Oh, now, Colton, what do we say?

- False modesty... - False modesty.

Is ugly to the Lord.

This is a gift he has given you, and you must own it.

Yes, ma'am.

It's sort of this, uh, it-shaped thing.

It-shaped thing?

"It" is an experience. It's being in California.

It's Los Angeles. It's the San Fernando Valley.

It's exactly what I expected, but it's also different.

It.

Oh, my God. He wants to fuck you.

Oh, my God. Do it.

Do it, do it, do it.

- Is this seat taken? - No.

- Hi. - Hey.

Soft lips.

Nice. Take your top off. Oh, yeah.