Baby Daddy

Philip.

Don't you just love the way it sounds?

Philip!

And how adorable is that accent?

But to be honest, I only understand half of what he says.

Where's Danny? Has he seen this?

No, but have you seen this?

Meet the Rangers' newest icegirl.

Oh, ho ho!

She's got her hands up high, her feet down low,

and that's the way she jig-a-lo...

jig-a-lo jig-a-lo!

Jig-a-lo!

Um, maybe it's just me.

But isn't dressing Emma up like a cheerleader

just a little sexist?

No, it's not just you.

It's all the unpopular girls who couldn't make cheerleading.

Danny, take a look at this.

Front page of the sports section.

That Logan Parker is at it again.

That dude hates me.

He even criticized my Jersey.

- We all wear the same ones! - Yeah. Jerk!

Well, we need him to start writing words

like "awesome," "amazing," and "spectacular."

Or the next contract we negotiate is gonna be

for you to sell shoes at the big and tall store.

What am I supposed to do about it?

Here's a crazy idea. Play better?

Come on! We need real ideas!

Huh. Okay, you know what?

Here's what we're gonna do.

After practice today, we are gonna find him

and we are gonna schmooze him.

Okay? We just have to stop by my house

and grab my cleavage. Okay? Let's go.

Let's go. Come on.

So, uh...

I was thinking of bringing Philip to Danny's game tomorrow.

Oh, my God!

Can we please go like two full sentences

without mentioning lord stuffy pants?

Whoa, okay. Hey, you're the one who made the big speech

after we broke up about how we could still be friends.

Well, if you can't be supportive of my relationship with Philip,

then I think this little experiment might be over.

Meaning that we get back together?

I love it when I say the words here...

And they mean something totally different here.

Fine.

I will try and get to know Philip.

Have him come by to the bar today.

We can hang out during my break.

Thank you for being so mature, Ben.

His name is Phil and he's a bore,

and that is why he makes us snore...

Phil's a snore! Phil's a snore!

Oh, I know, I know. Tell them the story

about how one of your students mistook you for the TA

and said she heard the Professor was super hot.

Well, actually...

That was pretty much it.

Oh, my God. I love that story.

Oh my God, you know what I love about this lunch?

Nothing.

Oh, hey, can I get a beer?

Oh, give me a minute. We're just a little short-staffed.

Yeah, probably shouldn't take my break during the lunch rush.

Trouble you for a pint, love?

Right away.

Wait, did you see that?

What does he have that I don't?

Well, I could make you a list.

But let's start with the accent.

Wait, really? Girls like that?

May I present you exhibit...

"I love that story, ohh."

Yeah yeah. Yeah.

Well, in that case...

Here we are, ladies!

All aboard the train for Tuckingham Palace.

Uh, so, Ben...

Philip had some really fun ideas

for when the two of you hang out.

I thought this was the hanging out.

But once you start, who wants to stop, right?

Brilliant. I thought maybe you could pop by the campus later

and I could show you around.

Pop by the campus?

Well, that's almost too much fun.

I'll be there.

Yeah, okay.

Okay, uh, now read this.

"Caesar salad with a side of anchovies."

See?

I hate anchovies, but that sounds delicious.

Excuse me, barkeep,

can I trouble you for a couple of pints?

It's for my new lady friend.

Ben!

This accent thing is amazing!

You were right. You can literally say anything,

and women love it.

Excuse me, has anyone ever told you

you've got an absolutely lovely bosom?

See? I just told that girl she's got nice boobs,

and I'm still standing here.

Oh, try it, try it, try it.

'Ello, duckie!

What are you having today?

I'll go see if that idiot from The Post

has checked in yet.

You keep your eyes open, but do not engage.

Danny!

Talk to no one. Got it?

Got it.

Well, hello.

Hi, there.

Are we finally sharing the locker room with the ice girls?

Because I put a request in for that months ago.

Oh, sorry to disappoint,

but I am not one of your cheerleaders.

Are you sure?

Because I know I'm feeling inspired.

Too bad you're not this aggressive on the ice.

Hey! I made some pretty good passes today.

You're not counting this as one of them, are you?

Ouch!

She takes me down, which I'm totally okay with.

All right, seriously?

I cannot find that talentless hack anywhere.

Hey, do you know which one of these jackasses

is Logan Parker?

Logan Parker, talentless hack at your service.

Hey!

I knew that, yeah.

Gotcha!

We just love hazing the new reporters, you know?

Wait wait.

You're the dude that hates me?

Well, you're half right.

But this was fun!

Enjoy tomorrow's column.

Now look what you've done!

Whoa.

After you, ladies.

It has its perks, but I'm afraid you're a little late

and I have to leave for a meeting.

Oh, am I? Do you?

Darn it!

Well, I guess I'll just take off then.

But don't forget to tell Riley that I came by...

Because I did.

Actually, I won't be long.

And the rest of my evening is completely clear.

Of course it is.

All right, I'm off. Make yourself at home.

Hello, Philip here.

Can I get someone to come down here

and pull the stick out of me arse?

Professor Farlow, are you busy?

No no no, I'm not...

... Busy at all.

What can I do for you, love?

I was hoping to audit your art history seminar.

I brought the form.

Oh, you can audit me anytime.

Excuse me?

Why don't we discuss it further over a pint?

I may need to give you an entrance exam.

- Hello? - Danny?

Where did you go?

I'm home. I always nap after practice.

Okay, I turn my head for like two...

Three seconds, and you disappear.

You were supposed to try and talk to Logan.

- Oh, I did. - You did?

Okay, that... that's great. So, how'd it go?

Not exactly how I thought it would.

That's so good!

Oh, my God. You guys are never going to believe what happened.

I had a good time with Phil. No, I know, I don't believe it either.

No, apparently some woman asked to audit Philip's class yesterday,

and claims he totally hit on her.

What?! How could she?

He! How could he?!

He's been called before the Dean and accused of sexual harassment.

Harassment?! That's a pretty strong word for a little innocent flirting.

I'm assuming.

You know, the brits actually pronounce it

"harrisment."

Truly, they can make anything sound classy.

My bum itches.

Fancy a scratch?

Tucker, this is serious.

- They're probably going to fire him. - Fire him?!

Is that really fair? Maybe it's just a misunderstanding.

God, I just... I should have known.

It was too good to be true.