$50K and a Call Girl: A Love Story

Street justice, punk!

I met my brother Ross

when I was three years old.

Growing up, Ross was the cute one.

The athletic one. The popular one.

But he was also my best friend from the day I met him.

And from the day my dad married his mom,

I never thought of him as anything but my brother.

And I loved him.

When he was diagnosed with brain cancer,

I decided to document his survival.

This should've been the end of the movie.

Instead, it's the beginning.

So this is Ross Patterson.

He just received a penis reduction.

I gave three inches to a needy kid in China.

And, uh...

And I'm reading Highlights Magazine.

who always circles shit in fucking Highlights?

I want to find the rake in the cloud,

I want to find the baseball bat inside the tree nut.

You loved Highlights when we were kids.

Hey, Ross? - Oh, doctor's here.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

Brings a therapy dog to a patient consultation,

it's a pretty good bet that he's not delivering good news.

Hi. - Um... yeah.

W-would you mind

putting that thing away and shutting it off?

Um, because of the HIPAA Laws, I have to have you document

So, if it's all right with you, it's fine with me.

This has been going on for two and half years,

I think we're fine.

We got the results back from your PET scan.

And, um... ...here's where we stand.

Unfortunately, the tumor

is growing more rapidly than we anticipated.

As a matter of fact,

we're at levels we haven't seen in over a year.

Wait, s... so what are you saying?

Uh... We're not

able to control this with chemotherapy.

In addition, it's metastasized.

We found traces of the cancer in your bone marrow,

in your liver, and your pancreas.

Uh, considering your heart condition,

I think more chemotherapy is way too risky.

We do have other options.

What are my other options?

Um, o-okay, a-all right,

y-you need to understand that this is not a cure,

but I think we can significantly stop

the aggression of this tumor with radiation therapy.

Yeah, I'm-I'm not going back to chemo, all right?

I-I-I'm not...

...- I-I-I'm not getting... - ... It's not...

...it's not chemo, it's radiation.

I'm not getting radiation again.

I-I'm not, I-I'm not gonna lie here in a fucking bed,

I'm not gonna shave my head again,

I'm not gonna be pricked with needles so you guys can...

...you don't fucking understand!

You have a choice, and you may not want to do this,

but I think that it would significantly shrink

the damage that's being done by...

Okay, when you say significantly shrink,

Like in terms of a timeline, what are you saying,

like how much... What is this gonna give him?

What's...?

At the rate of progression now...

...without immediate intervention,

we're looking at one to three months.

However, with radiation and drug therapy,

we can probably extend that

to a period of six months to a year.

Six months to a year, man.

Yeah, I'm not, I'm not going through it.

Look, I-I understand...

I'm not going through six months

of fucking radiation therapy again, all right?

I'm not going through it.

You... need to give this some time.

To think about the choice you want to make

and think about what you want

to do with the time you have left.

I'm sorry.

No, it's... I got to rub a therapy dog,

or else I'd be a mess right now.

Now, I have to take Beans back.

I promised that I would

take him to the children's ward with me.

Are you... are you kidding?

You just gave me the worst news of my life.

So I-I'm gonna die and you want the dog?

Fuck you!

Ross kept

the therapy dog.

At the time I was working

as a wedding videographer.

Riding the bubble of California's gay wedding boom.

But on the weekends,

Ross and my super-naturally- photogenic fiancee, Lauren,

helped me indulge in my artistic ambitions.

Shooting Tarantino-esque vignettes full of violence

and subtle references to the masterpieces of cinema.

Rosebud.

But when Ross got sick,

I realized I had

the chance to make something personal.

Something meaningful and true. This is what that turned into.

What'd they give you?

Oxies, perp, valium. - Nice.

Yeah, there's a real silver lining in all this.

You want some? - No, I shouldn't.

Oh, let's... ...let's turn this around.

There we go. Seth, how's it feel?

Do something interesting

because this gonna be for cutaways.

Okay.

Is your... ...Is that your phone again?

- Yeah. Who is it? - Uh...

I don't know, it's weird, it's Lauren.

"Hey. Dinner is almost ready."

We need to go food shopping.

I know. - What are you filming?

The Ross Documentary.

We need to talk.

Okay. Put the camera down.

So, what do you wanna do?

I have 618 dollars in checking.

Fuck. I don't-maybe I could buy a, uh, skim board.

A new skim board.

- I have... I have 50k. - Yeah, you...

I have 50 thousand dollars in my savings account.

You have 50 thousand for your wedding.

Yeah. So, like, I don't care, not for my wedding.

So, we'll spend it on, fucking amazing adventure.

Lauren will cut off your balls

if you spend that wedding money.

- She won't cut off my balls! - Yes, she will!

No, she'll cut off maybe one ball, one and half...

...He wants to go out with a bang.

He wants to do a road trip across the country with me.

You know, just... ...wild, crazy times.

- Okay. - At the end.

Um, he doesn't have any money. - Mm.

- We have 50 thousand dollars. - That's for our wedding.

So when are you gonna tell mom and dad?

I'm not gonna tell mom and dad.

Why not?

Because they would fly me home

and stare at me like I was fucking E.T. for 30 days.

I mean, would you wanna know when your kid is gonna die?

Are we still gonna have a wedding?

Yeah! Of course we're gonna have a wedding, baby.

The point is, he wants to do this road trip.

And, he wants me to film it. - I'm going with you.

If you're gonna blow all of our savings,

I'm going with you guys.

- Let's make a list. - That's fine.

I...first thing I would do is fuck a hooker.

- You would fuck a hooker? - I would fuck a hooker.

For how much more interesting that's gonna get?

You know, it's funny because actually I think that if one

of those make-a-wish kids

actually said - when the cameras weren't rolling - said

They would want to fuck a hooker.

- They would want... - ... They would not...

...Jenna Jamison to whack them off...

They would not want to throw footballs with Tim Tebow.

No.

Committed to capturing all of Ross's experiences on camera,

and as a life-long consumer of video pornography,

I yearn for the opportunity to shoot what academics

in the field termed hot, amateur action.

I'm just gonna wait out here for her.

All right.

Hello. Hi, are you-you must be Lamborghini.

Yeah! I'm Lamborghini.

- Hi. - It's, um, Italian. So, cool.

Um, what's with the video camera?

Nothing. I'm sorry, I'm just...

Yeah, you didn't say anything about videotaping, so... just...

- Sorry. - Yeah.

- Totally sorry. - No, no problem.

Um, so it's off? - Yeah.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Well, um, so... uh, so is it for you or...?

- What? - Is it for you or...

Yeah, do you want to-uh, no, I'm not, I'm not a customer.

It's my-it's-it's someone else.

- Um, uh... - What do I...?

- Yeah, you have to pay up front. - I ha-have the money. Yeah.

- Yeah, it makes sense. Um. - Otherwise...

...it's 200, you said? - Uh, three.

- 300, okay. Shit, I'm sorry. - It's okay.

Uh, could we do it ins... ...could we do it inside?

- God. - What was that?

- Bow-chicka-wow-wow. - No.

No, just stop. Um... - What is he doing?